PataPORN With Chinpoko!
Well, is March going to come in like a Lion or Lamb? Honestly, Chinpoko could give a rat’s ass—he just wants to talk about cock. Don’t you love your weekly PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!
Chaos Men: Ashton and Jagger Raw
I was so excited to see this video. First of all, I think Bryan does a great job over at Chaos Men. All of his videos seem so comfortable and I often feel like I’m watching the action from an outside window; the guys are so into one another they don’t seem to notice the cameras.
Jagger is a hot, hot boy. First of all, this guy has the bubbliest little butt, and just the perfect amount of hair. Also, Jagger has an interesting cock—it’s fat, long, and points down like a plane wanting to dive bomb some enemy’s ass. AND you know how I feel about an inked boy—PATA PATA PATA!
I began watching the video, then I noticed my sound wasn’t on. I turned it up. Hmm. Still nothing. Maybe my sound button wasn’t working. Hmmm. Still not working. Let’s check another video I thought. Well, that one worked. Hmmm. But not this one… let’s try it again.
Oh wait, apparently Helen Keller had two twink grandsons and they’re both being taped on Chaos Men and I was watching them.
I know. I hated to see it, but these two boys were so uncomfortable. Ashton moaned a bit when Jagger fucked him but that’s about it. Even when they both came it was like watching a Charlie Chaplin movie. Jagger came on Ashton’s face and Ashton just lay there frozen with his eyes closed and mouth shut. He looked like an extra from The Mummy.
I don’t get it. You’re both fucking—RAW I might add—yet, it seems too difficult to act like you’re enjoying yourselves? I mean, are you afraid of being intimate—come on! They’re fucking raw… how much more intimate can you get?
Try harder next time, fellas.
Tony Ward: Solo Video And Sexual Philosophy
Oprah says everyone has a story. Well, Chinpoko thinks every penis has a story too. As you know, cocks around the globe took notice to recognize February as Cock History Month. Now that March is upon us, I think it’s time that you boys don’t just pull and tug at your cocks. It’s time to get to know your dick: Love it. Caress it. Play board games with it (like Clue). And when your dick wins, treat it to some young twink’s pink, tight ass. Isn’t that just polite? I think so.
Tony Ward has lived a life that many would want to live, and thankfully his cock has been with him all the way. This bathtub interview is not to be missed. His cock literally throbs in the tub. Throbs.
Male Perfection: Harley Stone – Behind The Scenes
What a cocktease! By now you should already know, my loyal Chinpoko readers, that I love inked men! I don’t know why exactly. There’s just something about them that seems so forbidden and rough—maybe it’s the pain. Oh, just talking about it makes me all chubby. Harley Stone is appropriately displayed at Male Perfection; he is just that—perfection. Apparently, he has some job that forbids him to show his cock until November of this year, but thank goodness I’m one patient penis. Good things cum to those who wait! PATA PATA PATA!
Hairy Boyz: RJ Danvers and Luke Haas
Okay, this video actually makes me a bit jealous. “Why?” you ask? Well, if I had an ass to fuck, I’d want Luke Hass all up in it. Holy crap that man is hotter than a Waffle House skillet. The wetness of his cock as it slides in and out of RJ is one of the most delectable things I’ve seen in a while. I want it. I want it so bad. Oh god, QC animators why didn’t you give me an anus! WHYYYYYY!
Randy Blue: Colby and James
Randy Blue has a nice pair. Well, I mean he’s got a nice pair of boys fucking this week.
James Hawk is just pretty, plain, and simple. The boy has a crazy-fit body, his ass is tighter than a 70-year-old nun’s twat, and the boy just loves to fuck. So, already score one for Randy.
Score two: Colby Keller. Colby Keller is that nice football player that you always wanted to blow. You know the guy I’m talking about. Together in this video, Hawk and Keller shine like two newly won Oscars.
The scene starts with Colby asking James how long it’s been since he’s been fucked. Already Colby can’t keep his hands off James—who could blame him? Soon the boys are making out; I loved this part. Colby Keller knows how to make-the-fuck-out. Some guys in porn look like they’re kissing because the man behind the camera is yelling “Kiss him like you mean it!” while puffing on a Cuban cigar. Not Colby. He takes James’ head in his hands and cups those lips between his own. It’s called a porn ACTOR people, and Colby’s doing it. Already, I was getting hard.
Then the boys do some sucking. It’s nice but nothing to write to mom about. Soon Colby wants to get to the good stuff; to be inside James.
First, Colby fucks James doggie and then James sits on his dick. This is okay. I mean the two seem to be enjoying it, but James isn’t taking all of Colby. He’s just lets Colby put in the head. Dear Chinpoko fans, you know how I feel about this. It should be ALL or nothing. DO NOT WASTE HARD COCK! Thankfully, there’s a method to Mr. Blue’s madness.
In the next scene, Colby slides his cock into James’ hairy hole while they both spoon. This is when I started precumming. The hottest parts about this scene are the guys’ faces. They stare at one another and sometimes moan in unison, while throwing in a few hot kisses here and there. PATA PATA PATA!
But the best part does come last. James lies on his back and Colby enters him in a missionary position. BUT WAIT! James begs for it and pleads with Colby to fuck him slow. As Colby slides his thick cock all the way in, James’ face contorts in complete agony and ecstasy. He loves it! And you know what, so did I. AND I don’t even have time to mention Colby’s load. Thank you for making us wait for it Randy. Thank you. Hottest video of the week.
I really feel like I should be looking for some Little Person porn since it is March. Oh, or maybe I’ll do a feature on hot Irish boys. What do you think, Chinpoko fans? Want me to review something special? Well, add a comment with your request and I just might. Until then, see you next week. Now get your ass out there and get turned on!
