PataPORN With Chinpoko!

I’m going to be honest. I was unimpressed by this week’s porn releases. What does that mean, porn masters? IMPRESS ME, BITCHES!!!!!! Luckily for you, dear readers, I’ve compiled the highlight from this week that made me a bit chubby. After all, if you can’t trust a cock’s opinion in porn, then who’s can you trust? Welcome back to PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!

Cocky Boys: The Clark Brothers
He’s not gay, he’s my brother!
I just had to comment on this video from last week. If you’re into brotherly love, then this one’s for you.
The video begins with Seth Clark watching football. He convincingly yells at the TV, dropping in the word fuck as often as possible. Apparently saying “fuck” increases your credibility as a porn actor.
Seth appears shocked when Bobby brings up DVD’s—apparently, it’s “dirty DVD day.” (Everyone is surprised).
The best part—and by “best” I mean worst—is their commentary while watching straight porn; it’s wretched. I mean just terrible. It’s more forced than a marriage to Liza Minnelli.
Seriously, I felt like two thirteen-year-old boys decided to write a porn script ten years ago, and unearthed it just for this scene. Bobby and Seth reminded me of an unfunny Statler and Waldorf… with their dicks hanging out.
My advice: cut the “plot.” First of all, these guys really aren’t brothers; Bobby is of the Orange race and Seth is White.
My least favorite part of this video is the detachment between the two guys. They don’t even look at one another while jacking off. They stare fixedly upon the porn playing before them. I don’t get it. Do they think that if they actually look at one another, they might have some homosexual inclinations…?
NEWSFLASH!!! YOU’RE JACKING OFF TOGETHER!!!!!!
I usually love Cocky Boys, but this was so lame I didn’t even get blue balls… try harder boys.

Actor Mario Frias Gets Hot And Wet (And Hot)
Wet, wild, and saucy—that’s the way I like it. Mario Frias is a Brazilian actor. I have no idea what show he’s on, nor do I really care. I just want him to suck me off.
Put me on a lollipop stick and suck me down like a Flintstone’s push-pop, Mr. Frias. And then when you’re finished, hand me over to that red trunked friend of yours and let him take on your sloppy seconds.
Now rumor has it that Mario’s married. All right, it’s actually NOT a rumour—it’s a fact. Still, if you look at the order of the pictures on the post you can see what’s happening. It’s OBVIOUS to a well-trained dick like me that Mario’s having a conversation with the red trunks guy and then he gets turned on! “Hey,” Mario says to himself as his dick moves. That’s when he looks down and says, “Penis? Are you gay?”
Soon he realizes he has a raging hard-on. Sadly, the only way Mario can vent his sexual frustration is to throw a volleyball painfully into his chest repeatedly. Poor Mario. If he only came out, he’d be so much happier—I’d see to that personally.

El Secreto de Rafael Nadal
VAMOS RAFA!!!!!! The French Open is coming up and I couldn’t be more excited! So many hot tennis studs to watch.
I love to watch the bulge in their shorts bounce up and down, just like the ball. If you haven’t been to QC Espanol lately, then you missed this post about Rafa Nadal.
Now I know what you’re thinking? I can’t read Spanish! Well, neither can Chinpoko. But if you look at the picture of Rafa bending over, just ready to take me in… well, that’s a language that only dicks like me know. HERE I COME RAFA! VAMOS CHINPOKO!!!!! PATA PATA!

Caption This!
Double your pleasure! Double your fun! That’s what’s great about two Chinpokos—they’re so much better than one!!!! PATA PATA PATA PATA PATA PATA!!!!
Now the next time I see you fellas, it’s going to be May. Can you believe it? What’s the saying? April Showers bring Nina Flowers! Oh wait, that’s not it! Nina Flowers is on Ru Paul’s drag race. Hmmm, well I’ll figure it out. In the meantime, get out there and get turned on!