QC FYI: Befuddled By Cancer, Scientists Invent New Erectile Cream

Tired of the theft, near heart attacks, and 10-hour boners normally associated with Viagra? We (and probably a lot of porn stars) sure are! But thanks to some brave scientists who spent moths applying boner cream to tiny rat penises, there may now be a better way… and it involves “nanoparticles!” The Telegraph explains:

Scientists in the United States have successfully tested the new technique—which involves tiny objects called nanoparticles—on rats and believe it could also be used to help humans.

Under the therapy, nanoparticles that release the anti-erectile chemical nitric oxide are rubbed on the problem area, and absorbed directly into the skin.
Of the seven rats treated by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, five showed signs of arousal, according to results presented to the American Urological Association (AUA).
The new treatment would likely have fewer side effects than Viagra, which is taken orally and been shown to cause headaches and facial flushing.
Researchers also believe that the nanoparticle therapy could work much more quickly than Pfizer’s market-leading drug, which takes up to an hour to kick in.
“This is a very interesting concept which has potential to impact treatment of many conditions including erectile dysfunction if it can be translated from the animal lab to clinical practice,” said Ira D Sharlip of the AUA.
An estimated 2.3 million men in Britain are thought to suffer from the erectile problems, which can be caused by a variety of conditions.

Urm… what the hell “other conditions” would boner cream treat besides erectile dysfunction? And what if you applied the cream and then gave a guy a handjob—would it rub off on him? And how about those poor rats? Did they at least give them rat porn or inflatable sex partners so they didn’t suffer from tiny blue balls? Oh science! You’ve left so many questions unanswered!