PataPORN With Chinpoko

I love my job. I really really do and after you get finished reading this… you’ll understand why. It’s time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!

Str8Cam: Messy Creamsicle
I love a man who’s up for experimentation!
Str8cam is packing some punches this week from the beefcake, Jeff. Oh! First of all, Jeff is just yummy. His hot face, nice eyes, with his tight bubble up, and a nice thick cock—damn. I’m getting a chubby folks.
Also, I love it when porn actors take the advice of their fans. I mean, I know more than anyone that I’m nothing with out all my adoring fans.
I love that Jeff uses the old-fashioned shaving cream; that was the first lube I ever used. Yep. I remember sneaking into my father’s bathroom and stealing his can. But I must admit, Jeff uses it in a much hotter way than I did. He literally pounds his thick meat with that Fleshlight. I think my favorite is to see his cum mixed together with the shaving cream… PATA PATA!!!
Oh, and who’s wearing QC orange? That’s right. Jeff is!

aussieBum Presents Armour
Damn you aussieBum! Damn you for putting your stupid ideas about clothing into peoples’ heads!
My dear Chinpoko fans, please do not buy into this underwear propaganda. It is a complete fabrication (pun intended) that these silly people made up down under to make you think you have to wear underwear.
BUT YOU DON’T MY FRIENDS! Why would you want to cover up that glorious dick of yours? Why would you want keep something so hot, so hung, and so cummy under wraps.
This is homophobia, I tell you! No! It’s a peniphobia. Yes, I said it! aussieBum hates dicks and they won’t stop until every penis is covered and jailed in a cell of 98% cotton and 2% lycra. Well this dick is taking a stand! (Kind of, I don’t really have any legs to stand on, and if I sit up on my balls for too long I go numb… but I am erect with outrage, damn it).
I say no to aussieBum! I hate you aussieBum! I HATE YOU FOR RUINING MY LIFE! (Again—if I had legs—this is where I would run up the stairs to my room, slam the door, and begin sobbing on my bed.)

Southern Strokes: Brandon
Brandon… Brandon… Brandon. What can I say bad about Brandon?
NOTHING! Holy Christ on a rainbow cross, this guy is an Adonis!
I’m such a sucker for a guy with a hot smile. But everything is perfect about Brandon. His tight, tan, smooth ass and his abs look tighter than Leo Giamini’s. Oh, and those arms! Jack me off with those arms! PATA!
Probably the best thing about this guy is that he’s from Georgia. Oh, and I would eat his ass like a ripe peach. And with that Southern accent, I’d insist on dirty talk.
Hey, maybe I need to take a road trip… Do you hear that Editor D? This prick needs a trip to the South! PATA PATA!

Videoboys: Jo and his Toy
Okay, I have to say I was not expecting to like this video. The main reason is…
THERE’S A FAKE VAGINA IN THE SCENE!
I know, I may be prejudiced, but hey… I’m a dick. I have to be honest.
So, keeping that in mind, Jo has to be pretty fucking hot if I’m recommending this video to you.
AND HE IS.
I’ve actually decided this guy is my new crush. I would love to see what would happen to him if one of the bigger sites got a hold of him. Jo and Addison from Sean Cody. Or Christian Sharp. PATA PATA.
Not only is Jo good looking, but also he has the “aww shucks” quality about him that makes him so darn likeable. He’s a guy that makes me wish I had an ass, because I would love for him to work his magic on me.
I’m not proud to admit this dear fans, but I must admit… I came. I did! Even though Jo’s fucking a vagina, I totally came watching him do it. Oh God! Maybe I do like the ‘gina? Oh no! I like… vagina? Oh God. Who am I? WHAT AM I? I need a drink.
I can’t…I can’t. I’m too shaken. I can’t do the outro tonight. I was going to say, “Get out there and get turned on!” but would I mean it??? Now that I like va-jay-jay? Oh GAWD!!!! I’m going to do some soul searching and I’ll see you next week.