Three Bad Santas Make XXX-Mas Cum Early

Yeah, we all know that the real Santa looks a bit like Jake Cruise, but we bet he’s got a cruved candy cane and a nice sack of goodies in his special pouch—we’d like to jingle his bells… ho, ho, hos.

We stumbled across three bad Santas cruising the web yesterday and wanted to share their tales with you. The two Santas are chock full of Christmas cheer! They’re also a fitness trainer and a gay military man helping raise money for an AIDS charity. Towleroad tells all:

Fitness model and personal trainer Ryan Barry and decorated (and discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”) Lieutenant Colonel Victor Fehrenbach wore their “Hot Santa” outfits to the AIDS Services Foundation fundraiser last night in Orange County.

Barry and Fehrenbach have been dating for several months, says the tipster who passed along this photo. Last we knew Barry was dating SLDN spokesperson and former Air Force officer Reichen Lehmkuhl.

HAWT! We bet they work those elves extra hard! Some North Pole action for you there… and then here’s one more naughty nugget about Santa. Seems that for the Gay & Lesbian Straight Education Network’s December 8th fundraiser, they’ll put on a play where a gay Santa falls in love with the Pinnochio’s creator, Gepetto. And the Puritans are going nuts! Think of the kids!!! Here’s what the wingnuts have to say:

a theatrical play called Santa Claus is Coming Out! GLSEN’s fundraiser invitation says the play depicts “Santa in his heartfelt struggle to reconcile his romantic relationship with Italian toy maker Giovanni Geppetto.” Pictures on a Web site promoting the production depict Santa in not-so-subtle sexually suggestive situations. The play also mocks those who support [so-called] “traditional” values. It’s sad that GLSEN, which claims that it wants to protect kids, has chosen to use a fundraising tool that perverts the innocence of Christmas and sexualizes the longtime, child-revered icon of Santa Claus.

Can we get a hell yes? And good choice on Geppetto, Old St. Nick, you dirty bastard, you. You want a toymaker who really knows how to handle his wood—lie to me, baby!

Let QC’s Naughty Santas turn you on!