What Porn Furnishings Say About A Studio
You may remember Lurid Digs, the blog that lampoons shitty home furnishings of gay nude photos. Or the Sticky entitled “What his bedroom tells you about him”. We decided to combine those ideas and critique the furnishings apparent in a few of our most recent posts, just to decode the message these studios are sending about themselves and their models.
New York Straight Men: Smackdown
New York apartments are expensive. That’s why NYSM has converted their tiny place into a combination porn studio/wrestling ring/living room/suck dungeon, using the folding screen to hide their roommate. Also, having a ew pleather couches, shitty rugs, and lamps make the space feel less empty, unlike a New Yorker’s heart.
Bel Ami: Josh Elliot and Sascha Chaykin
Bel Ami’s men are first-rate, but their hodge-podge of imported furnishings make every scene look like they took place in a gay bed-and-breakfast or a cologne commercial from the 80’s—very glamorous (for Eastern Europe). We personally think that wicker furniture should be saved for sun rooms and retirement communities, but we guess it’s easier to replace once Bel Ami’s guys fuck it apart.
Mason Wyler: Mason and Taylor Aims
Hooking up with Mason has its own risks. For one, what if this notorious bottom decides to ram you with his man packer, instead? Second off, he’s liable to say all sorts of horrible things about you smuggling meth in your butthole. And thirdly, he’s like the Norman Bates of porn. We’re pretty sure “his” bedroom belongs to his grandma and that he’s got several “actors” stashed away somewhere. But his otherwise blah furnishings ensure his monstercock remains the star.
Four more scenes decoded, after the jump!
Corbin Fisher: Fucking Kirk
You can tell that Corbin Fisher wants to be the gay porn version of Ambercrombie and Fitch. And if you’ve ever seen one of A&F homoerotic catalogs, you get the feeling that CF gets all the X-rated footage that A&F simply leaves out. Usually Corbin has his models molest each other on ice-cold bleachers. This time around, he’s added a rustic “Brokeback” feel in a that’s warmer yet still butch. The secluded cabin’s perfect for the occasional str8 boi who just wants a blowjob where no one (except for thousands of web viewers) can see.
Sean Cody: Heath
It’s popular knowledge that Sean Cody’s bed is incredibly rickety and that his couches are made entirely of encrusted jism. That’s why his latest shoot took advantage of the other bedroom furnishings. His vaguely Asian pottery and flora accentuate the large American penises of his models. Plus, he’s taking a liking to the color brown, possibly to make his models look a bit paler than they already are.
Bentley Race: Astroboi (2)
Though Bentley Race is undeniably Australian, we get the sense that they’re going for a mixed-Eurotrash appeal, especially since their last location look like it took place in a sleazy artists’ Parisian apartment. The place had a goddamn throne in it, for crap’s sakes along with an easel and water for drooling. Of course, their model also wore athletic socks and cleats because Europeans love soccer. He also wore a porn stache, because Europeans love perverts as well.
Hot House Backroom: Kyle King and Drew Cutler
Someone should really tell Hot House that it’s possible to be too butch. After all, showing two hairy and built guys fucking is already pretty masculine. But throw on top of that, a truck, an alley, workboots, backwards caps, recycling bins, and toolboxes and the scene becomes downright lesbian.
