Elijah’s Wood

Admittedly, we’ve had a crush on Elijah Wood since he was jailbait. But we were jailbait at the time too, so that made it OK. Now that we’re both the same age, he’s open game. Yes, we know he’s “straight” (whatever that means), but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t like spending some time on a secluded mountain with a special guy. In fact, we saw him do the same thing in Lord of the Rings.
In that film, Elijah carried a heavy cockring a long way to get rid of it and it looks like he’s carrying around another large burden even now. We’ll happily help lighten that load, if he’ll merely trust his to unwind his pack and handle it for him. No! We won’t use it for evil purposes (unles you consider a handjob “evil”). Just lay back and let us take care of things, Mr. Baggins. You can count on us, Frodo!
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