More Juicy Details on John Edwards’ Sex Tape

Twasn’t long ago when we told you about John Edwards’ yet-to-be-released sex tape in which the disgraced ex-politician unleashed his HUGE MONSTER COCK. No one’s (besides his mistress and her drunk friends) have seen the tape… well, and some friends of The Daily Beast:

The Daily Beast can now describe the video in detail, based on accounts from multiple people who have viewed it. One source who has a medical background and has worked with pregnant patients says Hunter appears four or five months pregnant based on the swollen state of her belly and nipples. This would would place the tape’s filming somewhere around September or October of 2007, smack in the middle of Edwards campaign for the presidency.

On the video, both participants are naked. Hunter is propped up against the hotel bed headboard, with John Edwards belly-down on the bed between her legs. As Hunter, the campaign’s official videographer, holds the camera, a smiling Edwards performs oral sex. Because of the camera angle, Hunter’s face is not visible, but her distinctive jewelry is. Not only does candidate Edwards know he’s being filmed, one source says, he’s also clowning around and “graphically performing for the camera.

Of course he’s have his campaign videographer film their boink-a-doink, after all, a presidential candidate has got to look good, especially if he’s running to be Commander in Chief of your queef. But she should have shot for a larger gay demographic by filming his cack! Hey lady! Here’s an easy chart below of what gay men want to see in a sex tape:
Bloated nips and paunch from preggers = NO
Vigorous vagina munching = NO
18 to 46 inch gigantu-cock = SWEETBABYJESUSYES
Farting on cakes = SURE
John, if you need someone to help shoot for you on your next sexual campaign, consider QC. Our quality professional staff will gladly shoot on your face, on your bedpost, and the picture of your wife—all for no extra cost! Yes we can!