Policeman Fired For Opening Beer Bottle With His Cock Piercing

When police officer Sergeant Andrew Lawrance started telling his fellow officers and their wives about his cock piercing at the office Chrismas party, they begged him to do his self-proclaimed “party trick” of opening a beer with it. So he went into the bathroom of Tommy’s Chinese Restaurant, attached a bottle opener to his cock, and popped open a longneck with his Prince Albert. They might have been impressed, but his boss wasn’t.
His boss, Police Commissioner Andrew Scipione, says that he lost confidence in Lawrance a senior officer with the force and has had Lawrance sacked. Weirdly enough, Lawrance had already undergone counseling for doing the exact same thing back in 2004, but apparently he can’t resist an audience. Luckily Lawrance also has a part-time job working in a bottle shop (where he probably perfects his party trick), so he won’t be entirely without work.
And if his employers at the bottle shop are more laid back than his superiors at the police department, he might want to stop by the website Phallic Cymbals and see what other wondrous things he can do with his penis. Heck, he might even become a gay internet sensation if he keeps working at it!