QCA TV Quickie: Orange M&M Gets Fucked By A Pretzel

Despite their candy shell, you already knew that M&Ms were straight. After all, the red and blue ones always get so turned on by the slutty green M&M. But now they’re taking the candy’s heterosexuality one step further by assuring you that the orange M&M did not willingly have a long curvy pretzel shoved inside of its ass. No sir… and the pretzel wasn’t too happy about it either.
Instead of going for the “buttsex is grody” angle, the commercial should have just had the pretzel making sweet, sweet love to the orange M&M, sticking his curvy, salty stick into orange’s mouth and eye. It could have been the hottest, creepiest candy commercial ever! Call us crazy, but we’d rather not think about assplay when eating chocolate-covered pretzel sticks. If M&Ms melt in your mouth, they’d practically explode in your butthole.