PataPORN With Chinpoko!!!
Hey guys and gals, it’s me again! Chinpoko, the dick that rates porno flicks! I have some great finds for you this week. In fact, if you don’t read anything else on QueerClick — in which case, you are a FOOL — at least check out my treasure trove of tricks because it’s got the best sex anywhere on the web. No need to thank me. Just grab some lube and your cock because it’s time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!!!
Lucas Entertainment: Nova Rubio, Drew Sumrok & Jed Athens
RATING: 3 OUT OF 5 – AROUSED
One of the great things about Lucas Entertainment is that they’re never afraid to try new things. They have an entire separate site dedicated to pissing and farting, they occasionally dress their guys in panty hose and they also cater to corporate fantasies.
Their bareback business threesome offers a mix of those last two as Nova, Drew and Jed don suit and tie as well as some sheer dress socks for a balls-to-the-wall suck and fuck fest. What starts with some light sucking between two fellas quickly moves into total nudity with all three guys trading blowjobs.
When they finally shed all their clothes, I asked myself, “Do businessmen really have all these tattoos?” And then I wondered, “Do businessmen normally keep their socks on during sex?” I know some politicians do, and it’s supposedly because they afraid to be vulnerable or because they just wanna fuck and run… or something.
But as I kept looking at the three men’s muscular legs through their socks, I began to get really turned on because c’mon — it really is a kinky kind of near-genderfuckery. They might as well be stockings, which would turn this threesome into a cross-dressing threesome! PATA, PATA, PATA!!
The guys really go for the gusto while eating and plugging each other’s holes, but the highlight really is when two of them get their third to go spread eagle and upside-down on the couch while they dip their dicks simultaneously into his company ink. It’s totally impractical but fun to watch. Sadly it doesn’t last long before the men are back to jerking off and cumming on each other.
Overall, it’s a good corporate meat-ing. But despite the great cocksucking and creative fucking, it’s a mostly business and not nearly enough pleasure for this cock.
WORK BONUS – The scene provides an ideal merger between the right amounts of sex, socks and studs.
PINK SLIPS – Though the guys go for it, the chemistry between these co-workers could use some inservice training.
Butch Dixon: Alex Marte and Kris Irons
RATING: 4 OUT OF 5 – FULLY-ERECT
Alex Marte has everything you could want in a fuck-daddy — he’s got the tatts, a beefy and muscular build, a good smattering of body hair, a killer beard and of course a nice fat hog ripe for sucking and topping.
Alex and Kris establish the father-son chemistry early on with Alex guiding Kris’ handsome face onto his nipples, armpits and the fat bulge in his jeans. You can see how much Kris enjoys it as he happily obliges while stroking his own ample dick. Once Kris gets Alex’s cock out for some sensuous, slow sucking (BONUS!) it turns out that both men are uncut! A uncut bear daddy and his uncut cub? Wow, I got instantly hard — PATA PATA!!!
Alex leans back with his hairy pits and crotch on display, then he moans as Kris snacks on his thick shaft and foreskin — so yummy! When Alex finally flips Kris over and starts eating his ass, it’s extra hot because Alex spends time slapping and grabbing and shaking it. It really is kinda perfect and round, and all the while Alex gets harder just thinking about how good it’s gonna be once he sticks his dick deep into it.
When they actually get to fucking, it’s all Alex’s show. Yeah, Kris’ furry muscular bod is nice to look at, but otherwise he just silently lays there while daddy does all the work. It doesn’t matter much because daddy is sooooo fucking hot and really gives Kris a good pounding. Plus the camera pans over Alex’s muscular body, showing just how hard and turned-on he is the entire time — it really got me leaking.
Kris ends up stroking his curved cock and sucking Alex until he cums on his furry belly. Afterwards, Alex shoots his cum streaming down Kris’ beard. It almost makes me wanna go out and find a muscle daddy to manhandle and fuck me right now.
FATHER’S PRIDE – Both guys are mega-hot with erotic chemistry. Alex is so turned on through the entire thing that just watching him will make you cum.
DADDY’S SHAME – Once they get fuckin, Kris just lays there silently. Don’t make your dad do all the work, son. Put your back into it!
FREAK OF THE WEEK
Raging Stallion: Fabio Stallone, Tony Orion
Everyone knows that smoking is bad for your health, but smoking with your buthole has to be positively awful for you. As if butt didn’t taste bad enough, you gotta go and shove some burning tobacco leaves up in it?
But who knows? Maybe the studio lost the dildo they were going to use and they had to make do with whatever they found laying around. They were like, “Hmmm… we have some pens, some purple stuff, this tube of cookie dough… OOOH! HERE, USE THIS CRUSTY CIGAR!” What if they left it in there and it kept burning and Tony fell asleep with it still smoldering ‘tween his cheeks? That’s dangerous — someone call OSHA!
Or… maybe Tony’s butt has smoked for years and craves all sorts of Cuban cigars, electronic vaporizers and fancy European cigarettes. Maybe his butt is addicted to nicotine and it gets all stressed out and bitchy if it doesn’t have a smoke in the middle of a scene.
Either way, cigars are bad for buttholes, mmm’kay?
CHINPOKO’S QUICK CUMSHOTS
Men of Montreal: Bruno Miles – Are you kidding me with this beefcake? First he teases you with white undies in the shower and then shows off his hairy bod, nice butt and big dick in bed — my idea of a perfect night!
NextDoorMale: James Roxxbury: If you like young guys and bush, you’ll love this hot little fucker. He’s a jock in sports briefs and sneakers who flashes his hairy hole, tramp stamp and tan lines with slutty aplomb.
The Casting Room: Barry – This site scores a hit with a scruffy, muscular tattooed dude who looks like total boyfriend material. He’s ripped with just enough hair in all the right places… PATA, PATA, PATA!!!
Titan Men: Josh West and George Ce – I never get tired of seeing Josh West getting his huge dick sucked by hot guys… and this time around, his hot guy has a pretty girthy dick of his own. Finally we get to see Josh suck a dick that’s as big as his — nice!
Raging Stallion: Angel Rock and Adam Wirthmore – Two of the biggest dicks in the biz also happen to belong to two of the hottest, hairiest young fuckers in the biz. You’ll love watching these two studs suck cock before Adam takes Angel’s fat pole — wow!
Phew! I am positively spent after watching so much hot porn! I’m gonna need to take a small breather. But don’t you get too relaxed. After all, this next week will have lots of great new porn for both of us, and it sure as heck ain’t gonna watch itself. So while I go find a moist towelette, GET OUT THERE AND GET TURNED ON!
