Ask QC: I only want sex and not relationships

Ask QC

Dear Ask QC,

I’m in my 40’s, had a few long term relationships which ultimately didn’t work out and have reached a point where I’ve realized that actually its only sex that I want and not a relationship at all.

All of my close friends are either in LTR’s, dating or married and think I should be too. They say I will die old and lonely if I don’t find someone now.

But after several disappointing dates, guys who are clingy or start talking moving in together or marriage I’ve come to realize that I’m actually happy in my own company apart from one thing that is. Sex.

Yep I can fap as good as the next man, love my toys and my porn too. But theres still nothing better than skin on skin contact, kissing and getting intimate with another guy. But I don’t want all the other crap that goes with relationships, all the hassles, money problems or relatives or other dramas that happen.

So my question is, am I normal in thinking like this, my friends seem to think otherwise? I just want sex (which to me is a normal and natural thing to have that need) but I don’t want to do all that relationship stuff. Are there other guys like that too, a regular fuck buddy would be ideal, but after a while they want more too. Can’t seem to find anyone who wants the same situation as me are they out there?


Hi Owen and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. If there is one thing we do know, there is every different type of relationship, sexual or otherwise here. Don’t beat yourself up too much over this, it sounds like the experiences in your life has led you to this conclusion. There are of course many factors that influence our lives and make us who we are, and this may just be another part or a phase of your life too. So dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you give Owen? If you can help him in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice with all in the QComments section!
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Oct 27, 2014 By Tim 11 Comments