Adult Toys For Us: Bondage for Beginners

If you have ever been curious about bondage but not sure where to begin, well here’s our quick and easy guide on everything you need to get started.

Bondage is defined in the dictionary as “sexual practice that involves the tying up or restraining of one partner” and can be one of the most exciting terms used in the world of sex.

But is bondage for beginners that easy?

It may seem at first, a little daunting or even awkward and embarrassing to think about or discuss bondage, particular by those who have not considered it before. But like most sexual practices, as long as both partners have mutually agreed consent and set their own limits and safety beforehand, then like all sexual practices it is down to the individuals themselves to express themselves in this area of sexual practice as they want to.

When it comes to sex, bondage is no different and there are levels that range from mild to wild! From simple restraints such as straps or cuffs to the more sophisticated types of bondage including ropes, gags, straps and locks. As a beginner we suggest first discussing the idea of bondage with your partner to explore if their level of interest matches yours. Some may have not given it a thought, while others may already have those secret desires and thoughts of restraining their partner to pleasure them, or even be restrained themselves.

So what is it about bondage and restraining your partner, or being restrained yourself, that gives such a sexual thrill? Essentially it is about control and handing over that control. While bondage can be used as part of sex, and indeed is the letter “B” in the acronym BDSM this does not mean that any sadism or masochism has to be involved. BDSM has been defined as Bondage, Discipline (or Domination), Sadism (or Submission) and Masochism. While BDSM can involve role play, domination, submission and giving and receiving pain for pleasure here we are just going to deal with Bondage for Beginners.

Thankfully, the world is a lot more open now to bondage with the likes of main stream movies such as “50 Shades of Grey” and TV series like “Billions” giving a peak inside to what happens behind closed doors and in the bedroom of hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people who derive sexual pleasure and gratification from bondage.

So, now that we understand that bondage is just another level and part of sex play its time to discuss this with your partner. It’s very important from the outset and with safety in mind you both discuss beforehand what are your limits, for example your pain threshold and the types of sex that will be involved. Some people just enjoy the thrill of being restrained and have no inclinations to receive any pain, but they may be interested in pushing their limits and boundaries sexually. For example, “edging” (also known as aging), where you would stimulate your partner sexually while they are restrained and bring them to the edge of orgasm and then stop. You would then repeat this process, bringing them closer and closer to orgasm each time while they are restrained, and stopping each time. You will be the one to determine (or give them permission) when they can release orgasm – and when this happens, this is where they will experience their most intense and explosive orgasm! It can be an incredible rush and an event that brings the two of you closer together and on a different level than has occurred before.

But edging is just one example of the type of play you can have during bondage. There can be mild or hard pain (or none) involved, there can be role play with different characters or just characteristics being involved such as dominance and submission. Most of all though, the bondage process involves trust. And it’s this trust that is absolute and there for safety purposes – you should always have a “safe” word. If the safe word is used, then immediately the experience will end and the restraints released as this is the point at which the comfort limit has been reached. It’s also important to make sure the “safe” word is something that you will both remember in times of stress. Do not choose something like “no” or “stop” as these are common phrases that will be likely used during play time and will have no effect. We suggest something simple and that is easy for you both to remember (for example the word “RED”).

So now that we know what Bondage is and how we can perform it safely, what next? Well we think it’s a good idea to discuss with your partner the types of restraints they would be open to using. Simple cuffs come in all shapes and types, leather, velcro, locks, chains, etc. There are other accessories to enhance the experience such as blindfolds, gags and of course an amazing array of sex toys that can be used during the bondage experience.

Your foreplay (or research) could involve watching some porn, perhaps some edging videos and milder BDSM or bondage type videos. Talking openly and discussing these with your partner can be a big turn on too, whether dirty talk or just chatting – it’s whatever you both feel comfortable with and makes you both feel horny.

Here we have a clearer picture of how to get involved as a beginner, it can be as easy as saying to a partner “Have you ever thought about being tied up in the bedroom?” If its a yes then there is your opener into the topic, if its a no, that’s still okay because you simply need to say its been on your mind and you’re curious to try it out. Sex is a learning experience and doesn’t have to be confined to the usual kissing, masturbation, oral, anal and orgasm. It can involve all different levels of the mind, dirty talk, sex and role play, use of sex toys and yes bondage and restraints too.

If you’re considering getting some bondage gear, then Adult Toys For Us offers an excellent variety of bondage equipment to get you started. From handcuffs, bed restraint kits, leather cuffs, to spreaders, body straps, bondage tape, locking collars and bondage rope. And this week, they have a SPECIAL OFFER of 25% OFF when you use the code BDSM (note: offer applicable to minimum $50 purchase). Have fun browsing the bondage gear at Adult Toys For Us!