I have a weird problem that’s developed recently and wondered if any of you guys have any experience on this. Basically I’m shooting my load too early!
If I give you some background it might help, because I really thought this was a problem experienced by the very young or inexperienced in sex. I’m 37 yrs old, in a steady relationship and have been with my partner for 14 years. You would think after that amount of time our sex lives would be dull but really it isn’t. I think he gets hotter by the day, we live and work together and we don’t see other guys (for sex) outside of the relationship.
But recently, in the last few weeks, I starting suffering from premature ejaculation, almost as soon as we are into the first few minutes of foreplay I just shoot my load! And this is without hardly any stimulation, I mean just some kissing and some oral, hardly any really and then BAM! I come! Its becoming sort of distressing as it really kills the moment for the both of us, especially my partner. In the past both of us would be at it for hours, literally, and I mean 6, 7, 8 hr sessions. But I never came so soon like that, normally it would take at least an hour or more before we both came together. Now when I have an orgasm after a few minutes it really ruins it for him, he’s starting to get concerned about it and I’m now getting anxious and nervous about it now too. I’m wondering if this is a physical or psychological condition, are there any exercises or treatment that can prevent it from happening? Has anyone experienced this before, and if so, how did they remedy their situation?
I would really appreciate it if any of you guys have any tips or advice on how I can reverse this situation. I’m fit, healthy, not taking any medication and I can’t really think of a reason why this has suddenly started happening. My partner says I should see a doctor or specialist, which I’m considering, but I would really appreciate it if you guys or the readers have any advice or experience with this to share.
Thanks in advance,
Roger.
Has this happened to anyone before? What advice would you give Roger, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear QC,
I’m 20 years old, gay and still live at home as I’m still studying. I recently discovered by brother is gay, well it certainly looks like it, as I came across some porny magazines he had stashed in his room when I was looking for one of my CD’s he had borrowed and not returned. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have been snooping around but he hadn’t returned my CD and I was genuinely looking for it when I came across those mag’s (Hot btw LOL!).
So, well, I got a few things going on here, first, I’m not ‘out’ at home or to my family (although I am out to my friends), secondly, apart from the initial shock/surprise, how do I approach him and let him know that I know? I don’t want him to take it the wrong way that I was snooping around, I want him to know he’s got an older brother who’s really happy about it, and can be supportive.
The other thing that’s on my mind… is it common for more than one member in a family to be gay? He’s 18, btw, and we have two younger sisters 14 and 11. I’m really interested to know if any other guys have got gay brothers, and if so, how they dealt with this – thanks in advance!
Tom.
PS: Hey and you guys at QC really ROCK! Love your site!
Thanks for the compliments Tom =) Well readers, that’s an interesting topic, gay brothers/sisters or other family members anyone? And what advice would you give Tom? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear QC,
I’m not sure how to deal with a recent situation. I live with my boyfriend, we are in an open relationship sexually, no problems there.
But last week, my sisters husband came over to return some DVD’s and as both our partners were working late that night we were both at a bit of a loose end, nothing much to do. After a few drinks I was quite shocked when he asked what’s it like to fuck a guy, then asked if he could try it with me. He even started to try and touch me and I could clearly see his erection through his jeans!
Although I laughed it off at the time, I put it down to the drink and thought what the heck he was probably kidding. But he’s since hinted at it a few more times and recently started flirting with me and touching me up when no one is watching. What bothers me is that not only am I sexually attracted to him and being tempted, but I’m worried that if he is flirting with me like this, then he’s probably doing so with other guys and ultimately going to be unfaithful to my sister.
As far as I know she has no idea he is bisexual and obviously she has no idea he is trying to get into my pants. Ironically, she even says how great it is that he can have gay friends like me, but I’ve started making excuse to avoid him now. Do you think I tell her what he’s up to and if so how’s the best way to go about this? Do I tell her everything? I don’t want to hurt her but I also don’t want to see her get hurt by him either.
Thanks for any help.
J.
What advice would you give J, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear QC,
I know that Fisting is a fetish, and I’m kind of curious about it, but I wondered is it really possible? I mean I’ve had some big cocks up my ass but I can’t imagine ever being able to get one or even two fists up there. Are pictures of fisting real or have they been sort of digitally altered or something? Also, is fisting itself dangerous, can you ‘break’ your asshole by having something so large shoved up there?
Hope you don’t mind me asking about this but I’m thinking of trying it.
Thanks,
James.
We don’t mind you asking, but what advice would you give James, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear QC,
I have a dilemma that you guys might be able to help me out with. I’m 22 years old, out at college and at home and in a relationship with a guy who’s a few years older at 37. Age isn’t an issue with either of us, and although we don’t actually live together, we see each other regularly enough. I’m busy with college and working part time, he’s busy with his work too, but we do see each other several times a week at his place, and the sex is great!
I’m definitely falling in love with him and I really want to take things further, and at least introduce him to my family and circle of friends. But here is my problem, he is still in the closet, and because of this he wont (or doesn’t want to) meet my family or friends. At first it wasn’t a problem, but now it’s starting to become an issue between us. I’ve suggested he meets up with my family for dinner and I just introduce him as a friend, but he says everyone will know straight away that he is my lover. Do you think this is the case? He wants to keep things just as they are so I’m caught between pushing him into something he doesn’t want to do (which I think will be good for him and the both of us) and risk losing him. Have you guys been in a situation like this, and if so, how did you deal with it, got any ideas or suggestions on how to move forward on this? I’m scared of losing him if I push him too far.
Thanks.
Caleb.
What advice would you give Caleb, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear QC,
So, for all you experienced LGBT peeps, here’s my question that you might be able to help me out with. I’ve for some reason been very horny (it could be because I came out recently in my late 30’s, within the last year, and my arrested horniness needs to make up for some lost time – but that’s just conjecture) and have started experimenting with hook-ups. The challenge is I don’t know the sex history of these dudes – if they are disease free or not. So, what advice do you guys have? Condoms for everything: oral, anal, giving, receiving? Just jerking off and kissing? What do you guys do? I want a great sex life but I don’t want to catch anything and want to be comfortable while having sex.
Thanks.
S.
What advice would you give S., dear QC reader? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
This week’s Ask QC touches on race, a topic our readers debated at length this past week. The letter, below, proves that race isn’t just an issue in the fantasy porn world.
Dear QC,
I’m a 40-year-old black man (average) who’s long been attracted to white and Latino guys. And why not? They’re practically everywhere (insert laugh track)! The problem is, of course, that is often not the case the other way around, friends or otherwise. I’ve gone on several sites like Manhunt and craigslist…even some romantic dating sites…and I can’t tell you how often I’ve seen countless profiles of men (that I’m attracted to) looking for all kinds of races except blacks. And in some cases where they don’t mention race, if I were to send them a picture of myself when requested…that’s the dealbreaker.
It’s difficult enough to be black and gay within the straight community, but to be excluded within the gay community is a bit much and tiring. I’m on the verge of stop trying and just live my life.
Sincerely,
Black and Tired
What advice would you give Black and Tired, dear QC reader? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear QC,
I’m a long time reader first time writer-iner. I’m 21 and am not particularly attractive or flirty but I have a hard time keeping my gay friends just friends. At one time or another every single one of my friends have tried to kiss or sleep with me and it gets weird. I am wondering if you guys have had similar problems seeing as gay men are horny and when are close to another guy tend to go for it. How do you draw a line with your friends? or is it common for guys to do it with their friends? or do i just need new friends? I turn them down and say I like just being friends but it happens again and I get put back in an awkward position. When all the ingredients for a good friend are so close to those for a good boy friend how do you establish a truly platonic buddy?
Thanks,
Too Friendly Friends
What say you, dear QC readers? Any ideas or experiences to help TFF in his quest to find real friendship? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Testicular cancer’s the most prevalent cancer among men between 14-40 years old. One’s chance of getting the ball busting disease are about 1 in 250. Yet, most men still don’t talk about testicular cancer, let alone take the proper precautions to prevent it.
That’s why Britain’s Embarrassing Illnesses invited the Moseley Rugby team on to do a little how-to how-do-you do. Rest assured the cameras get up in there to cut through any cockamamie confusion.
(via Sticky #7248)
Dear QC
I love sex! Well that’s why I’m here hehe and wanted some advice too. Up till now all the sex I’ve had has been like, Blow Jobs and Jerking Off and stuff, but now I feel I’m ready to be and really want to be fucked. I got a great new BF and he really wants to fuck me but I’ve been holding off (not cos I don’t want it) but basically cos I never did it before.
I know my asshole is probably too tight cos it even hurts when I just put my finger there. Are there any special exercises I can do to help make my hole ready to receive his cock? I really don’t want to have the embarrassment of not being able to take his cock up my ass when my boyfriend wants to do it.
I suppose the good thing is that his cock isn’t that big really, but I’m still worried that my ass will be too tight. How long will I need to exercise my ass hole and are there any other things I need to do before getting fucked for the first time?
Thanks everyone for your help, best wishes,
Ass Too Tight.
What say you, dear QC readers? Any ideas or experiences to help Ass Too Tight in his quest to have a pleasurable first fuck? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ‘em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear Ask QC
I’m a fit 19 year old, completely gay but play a lot of sports and so am in some teams with straight guys (socially). I take pride in my cleanliness and hygiene, especially my cock, balls and ass (you never know when you might get lucky right?).
The thing is this, I ALWAYS wash carefully behind my foreskin daily, gently with soap and water and make sure there is no Smegma there. I thought this was just basic hygiene that everyone followed, but recently I was out with a group of my straight friends and I was horrified to hear them all say they NEVER wash behind there foreskins and that their girlfriends never go down on them anyway! I’m not surprised! Who in their right mind would suck on a cock full of knob-cheese? Surely this can’t be right? And there must surely be some medical dangers involved in not cleaning properly there, or worse still sucking on someones Smegma?
I would really like some advice here so I can show them that what they are doing is not only dirty and unhealthy but also risky?
Cheers,
No Knob Cheese
What say you, dear QC readers? Any advice, tips or experiences to help No Knob Cheese let his straight friends know what they should really be doing? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help those Cheezy Foreskins in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear QueerClick,
I am a 20 year old college student who is out of the closet and proud of it. Here’s my problem, I’m over weight and can’t seem to loose the weight. 300lbs and five foot eleven inches tall. I’ve tried everything, I walk to class, eat smart. Hell, I survived cancer, and the chem and radiation only made me gain weight. I don’t know what to do. I considered weightloss pills, but my doctor told me that it could have an adverse reaction with me because of the medical history. I hate my size and need help. And if I can’t find anything soon, I might have to resort to vomiting. Can anyone give me some suggestions? This weight must go, not only for my health, but I’m tired of being alone. Thank you in advanced QueerClick.
Joe
What say you, dear QC readers? Any advice, tips or experiences to help Joe handle his situation? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help Joe and other guys who are experiencing the same issue in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear Ask QC
Love your site and love this column!
I’m writing in cos my Boy Friend of 3 years just suggested a threesome!
Perhaps this is something that a lot of guys dream of (?), but it kinda makes me feel inadequate and intimidated. I’m 29 and he’s 26, we are both fit and healthy, and although I admit he is the one who usually initiates sex, I thought things were going along fine.
I’m a bottom whilst my partner is a top and he has suggested another bottom or flexi to join us. I’m really not sure what that means cos from what I have seen in porn there is usually one guy out of the threesome either being ignored or one guy totally having his brains fucked out at both ends.
I suppose I’m just writing to find out if any readers can suggest what makes a threesome work (or not?). Is it better to choose the third person as a random or someone you know? My fear is that my Boy Friend and the 3rd person would hit it off and I would be left out in the cold?
Any advice you guys can suggest?
Yours,
3-Some Perhaps.
What say you, dear QC readers? Any advice, tips or experiences to help 3-Some Perhaps decide whether to go for it or not? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help 3-Some Perhaps in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear Ask QC
To Rim or Not to Rim? That is the question!
I know this might sound a bit “basic” this question but I really love to rim (licking the anus) and love being rimmed out too. But Im not really that sure how safe it is or if there are any dangers involved. Are there any special “tricks” your readers know to determine whether someone you just met is really clean “down there”? I always make sure Im scrupulously clean before sex but Im not sure if everyone goes to those lengths.
Any advice on the risks and tips to stay clean (and know if someone is clean) would be appreciated – many thanks!
Rimmer
What say you, dear QC readers? Any special medical advice, tips or experiences to help Rimmer know whats safe and what isn’t safe when engaged in this practice? We’re not Doctor’s but we’re sure there is some sage advice out there… please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help Rimmer in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ‘em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear Ask QC
Although my problem may not be as “colorful” as some of those I’ve read in your column recently, nevertheless we need some practical advice that I hope the readers can help us with.
Myself and my partner both live in a country which, unfortunately doesn’t recognize same sex marriages or partnerships so myself and my partner live very much in the closet. That’s not the problem, in fact we are out to our close friends who know us well as we have been together as a couple for more than 15 years now (and no we aren’t THAT old! Haha! 37 and 41).
The advice we are seeking is very much to do with our wealth, properties and business that we run together and have worked hard to achieve over the years. Without going into too many details we haven’t been able to locate a sympathetic lawyer and so intend to write wills together and split everything we own 50/50 down the middle should the worst happen.
Our main question is this, what advice QC readers can give us or is there something fundamental that we may have missed (for example being able to attend funerals or to act as power of attorney if either of us becomes incapacitated). I’m sure there are loads of things we need to do to protect ourselves (things which would be automatic rights were we to be a heterosexual married couple) but we would really appreciate any advice being offered? Does, for example, it count for anything if we were to get married overseas even though this would not be recognized legally in our own country, would this count for anything?
Best regards,
Wish We Were Married
What say you, dear QC readers? Any lawyers out there who can help Wish We Were Married? Perhaps you have a similar situation and have set yourselves up legally? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ‘em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear Ask QC
I’m 18 yo and have been going out with my new boy friend (22 yo) for around 3 months now. We’ve been getting along fine, both in and out of bed, except one thing that concerns me a bit that happened recently.
He suggested we take a shower together before sex and I though “Yeah great!” and, actually it WAS very very erotic until he said he needed to pee. No probs I said, the toilet is like only 4 feet away, then he said is it OK to pee in the shower… again I said OK but the next bit shocked me. He said could he piss all over me!
Well I don’t want to sound like a prude but I said “No!” and well it kinda spoilt the moment as you can imagine – in fact we didn’t even have sex after that happened that night! It’s kind of been very awkward and playing on my mind and we haven’t mentioned this since then (it happened about a week ago). The thing is I realize that actually I’m not totally turned off by this, if only he had given me some warning then I could have psyched myself up to expect that.
Of course I realize when it comes to sex we both have to enjoy and be into the same thing, do you think I should suggest a shower with him again and then just piss on him – will he like that or would he only like being the person doing the pissing? Also can you tell me are there any hygiene issues with pissing on each other?
Are there any readers here who are into being pissed on or pissing on their partners and can they tell me how to go about it properly?
Yours truly,
Pissed On and Off.
What say you, dear QC readers? Any ideas or experiences to help Pissed On and Off find out whether he really likes Water Sports? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ‘em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
