What’s “good barma”? It’s good bar karma, being a considerate patron who treats bartenders well and is treated well in return. Whether you frequent a bar, pub, club, watering hole, or dive you can have a much better night if you’re on good terms with the bartender instead of acting like a jerk, barfing all over your mate, and felching some stranger in the toilet. HOW MUCH DICK DO I GOTTA SUCK TO GET SOME SERVICE AROUND HERE?!: It may be less dick than you think. All you really need to do to get waited on is make eye contact with your money out, and have a bit of patience. If it’s taking a while, a wave, nod or polite “Pardon me” will do. DON’T wave your money, whistle, snap, tap your glass on the bar, yell out the bartender’s first name, or call them “pal”, “buddy”, “honey.” Those are good ways to get a dog’s attention, not a human’s. HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER: Know your order before you go up. If you don’t know what beers they serve, find a menu, list, or take a look at what’s draft or the bottles on the wall. When you step up, give your entire order instead of announcing a new drink as each one’s served. This is especially important in large groups. It’s better to have 1 person walk up with six drink orders than six individual orders—it saves time and brain power. Have your money ready when the server gives you your drinks. If you’re unsure how much that should be, ask while they’re pouring. MAKE YOURSELF MEMORABLE (IN A GOOD WAY): Two easy ways to make sure a bartender remembers you is to tip well and keep returning to the same one. A smile, wink, or nod are always pleasant but don’t take over the bar flirting too seriously. They’re used to being hit on by drunken mutants and are probably only being nice to give you better service for a higher tip. Chat sincerely with them if they start conversation, otherwise, just wait patiently and always say “please” and “thank you” when getting your drinks. Didn’t your mother teach you anything? DON’T BE HIGH MAINTENANCE: Cool it with the high maintenance shooters already. If you want to do a round of Blowjobs or Silk Panty shots, great. But don’t order two Buttery Nipples, a Cement Mixer, a Kamikaze, and a Donkey-Studded Hustler. It’ll only confuse and keep your server busy. And besides, a Donkey Studded Hustler isn’t even a real drink. Also, unless you’re on friendly terms with the bartender, don’t say “make it strong!” That implies that they makes weak drinks (which is insulting) and may get you a weak drink or one that tastes like rubbing alcohol. SOME TIPS ON TIPPING: $1 per drink is average. $2 per drink is good (especially if the drink takes time to make). $3+ a drink makes you stand out. But first impressions are important, so always tip well on the first round of drinks. It’ll pay off in quicker service, better drinks, and the occasional free one. Remember to tip, especially if the server gives you a free drink or round.
Not tipping is NEVER OK. You may think it’s outrageous to pay someone an extra dollar an an already over-priced beer just for opening it, but that’s just part of the game. If you’re not going to tip (bad form indeed), don’t spend too much time apologizing for it. Just walk away with your drinks, and send someone else up to the bar next time. TABS AND FREE DRINKS: Running a tab is sometimes a good idea as sometimes bartenders won’t remember to charge you for every drink. It’s a bad idea however, if the server overcharges you and you’re too drunk to remember what you had. So, as a general rule, remember how much you’ve charged on a tab. If the server undercharges you, tip well. If they overcharge you, state your case and listen to theirs. If a certain bartender usually charges you less on a tab, ask for them to handle it for you. If someone you’re not used to runs your tab and doesn’t give you free drinks, suck it up and pay the tab. Complaining that the other guy normally hooks you up may get him into hot water or make you look like a cheap ass who doesn’t deserve free drinks to begin with.
I regularly travel on the subway to and from work, which during the weekdays rush hours, means I end up having to stand due to the cars being so full. On the way to work last week I became aware of this younger guy (20/22) being very squashed against me and although I wasn’t sure at first, I soon realized that he was rubbing his crotch against my leg. It was sort of happening accidentally as the car rocked back and forth and there wasn’t anywhere else for me to move at all, but I was definitely aroused by it. I found myself getting so turned on by this I was fully erect and so hard to such a point that it was actually painful!
Unfortunately he got off two stops before my work place so I didn’t get the chance to really make eye contact with him, I think if I had I would have reciprocated or at least attempted to hook up. What I wondered is whether rubbing through clothes sexually like this, is this a common practice or even an accepted way to pick up people? I know I didn’t give him my consent (initially) but once I realized what was happening I was really sexually aroused, so was he in the wrong or me too?
Tony.
Has this happened to you before and what did you do? What advice would you give Tony, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
BDSM is a complex acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), sadism and masochism (S&M). For the uninitiated, it may seem like the dark branch of the sexual world, bringing to mind scenes from Straight Hell and Bound Gods. But in actuality, BDSM covers a range of activities not always sexual in nature. They can employ different degrees of kink from role play, blindfolding and spanking to bondage, sling-sex, fetishism, and punishment. Far from being a fringe activity, the BDSM lexicon has terms for all sorts of sexual behaviors incorporated daily into mainstream culture. Below is a list of some terms and acts you may have heard of. The glossary may come in handy next time you want to be flogged by a martinet or participate in a little merinthophilia. ACOMOCLITIC – a preference for totally shaved genitals. ACUCULLOPHILIA – sexual attraction to circumcised men. ADULT BABIES – age play where the submissive is the baby. ALGOPHILIA – sexual arousal derived from experiencing pain. ALTOCALCIPHILIA – high-heel shoe fetish. BDSM – acronym for bondage, domination/ submission/sadism & masochism. BALL GAG – a device with a rubber ball and straps used to stifle screams. BALL STRETCHING – stretching the scrotum using weights so that it hangs lower. BASTINADO – foot torture using the soles of the feet. CAT O’ NINE TAILS – a whip containing nine strands. CHASTITY BELT – a device used to keep the submissive chaste when the dominant is away. COCA-COLA SUBMISSIVE – a submissive who only obeys easy commands, or when he/she feels like it. The alphabetized fun continues, after the jump!
Given the recent surge in HIV infection in men under 30 and an increase in “barebacking,” several gay porn stars have gotten together to make the above PSA. The video’s got such hot stars as Franceso D’Macho, Blake Riley, Matthew Rush, Francois Sagat, and Steve Cruz.
We covered How I Roll on before. The How Do I Roll website is worth a look… hot men and good information on safe sex.
I’m 19 yo and ready for my first fuck, the thing is, there seems to be loads of advice out there about being bottomed for the first time (use plenty of lube, be clean, take it slow, etc) but in my case I’m a top and there doesn’t seem to be much around giving any tips or advice on that. Really apart from jerking off and blow jobs I don’t have a lot of experience and have never actually had the chance to fuck someone before (although I’m hoping to change that very soon!).
Sure I’ve watched lots of porn (who hasn’t hehe) but I just wondered if any of you guys out there have any special tips for someone who’s gonna do his first butt fuck. Obviously I will be wearing a condom and have lube with me, but apart from that I’m not completely sure about different positions, how fast I should go, do I start off slow and get faster or is it different for everyone situation? Also I just wondered how is the best way to really stimulate a bottom whilst fucking? Thanks for any advice guys!
Cheers,
Andy.
I guess we all remember our first time don’t we? What advice would you give Andy, dear QC readers? Did it all go according to plan or did anything go horribly wrong? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
For those of you who don’t know, a hickey is a sort of “love bruise” that results from broken capillaries after someone sucks on your neck (or other body part). Lovers give hickeys for the same reason that dogs pee on trees—it’s a feel-good way to mark territory. If you’re over 16 years old and have given someone a hickey, welcome back to middle school! Oh, it feels nice to have your neck sucked and licked, but it sure doesn’t feel nice looking like Count Dracula’s whore. Hickeys, like all other bruises, take time to heal. But some employers and lovers may not not have time for your slow-healing suck mark. Though they’ll usually go away in a few days to a week, here are some things to help speed the process… 1) CHILL OUT: Throw that neck-sucking cad off you and apply an icepack or towel-wrapped ice cubes on the hickey as soon as possible. Cold will help constrict the veins so that new blood won’t rush to the hickey and make it darker. Go for up to 20 minutes or as long as you can stand it. 2) BRUSH IT OFF: Everyone loves a good stiff one. So go grab a stiff-bristled toothbrush or comb and lightly brush the hickey area to break up the blood clot and induce healing blood flow. Initially, the redness and swelling will spread, but if you wait about 15 minutes, it’ll be less obvious. In between you can always reduce swelling with the icepack. And if Count Dracula’s still around, you can spank him with the comb. He’ll like it. 3) USE WITCHCRAFT: Put away the spell book, Harry Potter. We’re suggesting some organic solutions for your vampire kiss. Arnica and Witch Hazel are two herbal salves for healing bruises. You can find them in your local drugstore. A small dab of diluted vinegar on a cloth of cotton ball can also reduce the color and speed the healing process. Some people also say toothpaste is an ideal solution, but we suggest avoiding it. The chemicals in toothpaste could irritate the bruise or even burn the skin making the hickey look far worse. 4) TOUCH YOURSELF: Yeah, like you need an advice column to tell you to touch yourself. Hell, if you’re on this site, you’re probably already doing it. But unless the hickey’s on your dickey, you might want to move your hands up and massage that spot. Massaging will help break up the blood and fade the hickey’s color. A good solid rub should do. Some people rub with a hard edged coin or stick, but don’t rub too hard. The spot may be tender or painful and hard rubbing could make the bruise worse. After about 10 to 15 minutes of massage, you’ll find the hickey has faded a little. 5) HEAT THINGS UP: As we said, hickeys just take some time to heal. But if it’s still noticable 24 to 48 hours after you get it, try holding a towel soaked in warm water on the hickey will increase blood flow and healing. Five minutes three times a day should do ya. 6) TIME TO MAKE UP: You could check out your local cosmetics counter and buy a green-tinted concealer, foundation, or eye shadow that’s a little lighter than your skin tone to help conceal the hickey. But make sure the makeup blends in naturally with your skin color and doesn’t get on your clothes or else your cover will be blown. 7) LYING AND OTHER OPTIONS: You could always resort to scarves, high-collar shirts, and turtlenecks to cover hickeys while they heal, but they tend to look suspicious in warm weather. You could also wear a bandage or tell people you got hit in the neck, but the smarter ones will know. One guy got his boyfriend to suck on his neck in the dark on the exact spots where he had hickeys and then blamed them on him, which is ideal (if you can get away with it).
Luckily, blowjobs don’t leave hickeys on dicks. That would suck (and not in a good way).
I’m 24 years old and have been with my current partner for 2 years. Our sex life has been great, so far, but I want to spice it up and keep it exciting and fresh. We regularly fuck (both versatile) and have done it pretty much in every area of our home and at different times of the day as and when!
I was thinking about tying up my partner and edging him or fucking him, but I want to make this exciting and a surprise rather than a sort of calculated thing. Not having tried bondage before, I actually wondered whether this would be too much of a shock/surprise for my partner or is it even considered rape (for example) if I haven’t discussed it with him first.
Like I say we have been together for 2 years (and actually known each other for longer than that), but will I be doing anything really wrong if I make this a surprise in the bedroom or do you think I should discuss it first with him? My feeling is that this will ruin the element of surprise and take away the spontaneity and excitement of it, but I’m a bit concerned if he freaked out over it.
Has anyone done this before and any suggestions?
Kyle.
What advice would you give Kyle, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Hey guys this isn’t so much of a problem but just wanted to see what’s the best Jerk Off anyone has ever had!
I’ve tried a few different ways, using lube, spit, etc and even using a banana skin to sort of “fuck” into, and I was thinking of getting a Fleshlight, are they any good? I have to say that so far my best JO was in public. I saw this really hot dude whilst I was on the bus and as it wasn’t too crowded at the back I jerked off there. It was one of the most explosive cums I’ve ever had! I dunno if that’s cos it was my first time outdoors or just the thought I might get caught?
Just wondered if anyone else experienced that or their best ways to jerk off?
Kyle.
I’m sure the QC readers have lots of different ideas and advice for you Kyle! Please feel free to share your own experiences in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Well I thought I would write back to let you know how things have developed, a LOT has happened over the last six weeks!
I also want to thank everyone for all the advice given, I was amazed at the response and the differing views everyone had on this, like I said it was a very difficult situation for me and I really had to think long and hard to consider whether I should tell her or not.
As it turns out, she caught him “at it” (although it was with another woman) and she threw the jerk out. I confided in her as soon as she told me that she had caught him being unfaithful, and although it hurt her a lot she said ultimately she was glad that I had told her about what he had been up to. She didn’t want to believe me at first as she really had no idea he had bisexual tendencies, but I even admitted to being turned on and tempted by him and she was cool about me actually admitting that. She said she realized something was up a while back and she had noticed me avoiding them (but especially him), I guess I wasn’t being as subtle as I thought afterall. It was a bit of a double shock for her I suppose but she is well rid of him!
So I just thought I would give you some feedback on this, I know every situation isn’t the same, but she said that I really should have told her earlier, not that she’s blaming me or anything, its been a dreadful and hurtful experience for her.
Thanks again everyone for your advice.
J.
Please feel free to share your own experiences in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
There are millions of cheesy come-on lines — two of our favorites are “Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day,” and “Those are nice jeans, but they’d looked better crumpled up on my bedroom floor.” These days, some guys will deliver come-ons ironically to show that they’re savvy enough to know they’re cheesy, but not smart enough to come up with anything original. No matter how they’re delivered, come-on lines are for the desperate. If you wanna hit on a guy, just step up, introduce yourself, and ask some questions. However, if you need to deflect another dickhead’s come-ons, here are a few quick retorts that will leave them speechless: THEM: “Haven’t we met before?” YOU: “Perhaps. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.” THEM: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before? YOU: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.” THEM: “Is this seat empty?” YOU: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.” THEM: “So, wanna go back to my place ?” YOU: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?” THEM: “Your place or mine?” YOU: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.” More bitchy retorts after the jump!
I’ve been admiring this guy from afar at work for a while (he works in a different section of the building), kinda using my Gaydar to pick up on whether he’s interested or not. So I finally pluck up the courage and go right up to his desk and ask him out on a date and he agrees straight away! (that’s the good part).
Thing is I realized when I was that close to him in his cubicle and literally inches away, when he whispered yes in my ear I got this really horrible smelling breath from him and it was like OMG! I just desperately had to leave. And it wasn’t like he had just eaten an onion bagel or something, this was a really putrid stench!
So he’s agreed to meet end of next week when he gets back from his vacations and I’m like now wondering how to tell him he has a serious halitosis problem? I still really want to see him but I’m worried I might retch if we kiss, what’s the best way to approach this? Is it true that people with bad breath don’t even know it?
Appreciate any advice guys?
David.
Anyone been in a smelly breath situation? What advice would you give David, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Old Ben Franklin said, “Guests and fish begin to stink in 3 days.” He was right. But here are some common sense rules for courteous couch surfing: HELP OUT: Your host’s life doesn’t stop for your visit. Ask if you can help out around the house. Wash dishes, sweep, or take out the trash, even if they tell you not to bother. CREATURE DISCOMFORTS: If you must bring wild animals (including children), consider offering to stay at a hotel. Don’t look at it as giving up free lodging&mdash compare the cost of replacing your host’s valuable objects and with a hotel bill. You’ll protect your friendship and peace of mind. GRAFT: Bring your host a small gift&mdash a CD, gourmet coffee, or a new book&mdash even if they insist you “just bring yourself.” Treat them to a meal or movie while you’re there. Be sure to mail a thank you note once you return home (don’t e-mail). ROLE REVERSAL: A polite house guest reciprocates by being a good host. Invite your host to stay at your place. While hosting, extend comforts and consideration to your guests (such small gestures mean a lot). Lastly, thank and praise your host when you’re a guest yourself. Source: Amy Alkon (aka the Advice Goddess), author of a nationally syndicated column.
Benjamin Franklin said, “Guests and fish begin to stink in 3 days.” He was right. People, especially house guests, are annoying– they’re loud, messy, demanding and unsightly, with numerous irritating habits (which get worse the longer they’re around). Here are some common sense rules to keep in mind when crashing or couch surfing this summer. LENGTH OF STAY: Stay no more than 3 days&mdash any longer, and you’ll seem like a shiftless mooch. COMING AND GOING: Avoid making your hosts guess about your arrival and departure. Fax or e-mail them your flight or train times, and include your cell number just in case&mdash call immediately if you’re delayed. HAPPY TOGETHER: Bring reading materials or plan independent outings to give your host some alone time. If your host has planned activities for you, be a good sport and try to go along. If you want to do something special (like nude bungee jumping), tell your host in advance so they can help scheduling. NEATNESS COUNTS: Don’t make any host (even your mother) clean up after you. Place baggage out of the way and avoid scattering belongings all over the house (especially toiletries covered in bloody foam and hair). Source: Amy Alkon (aka the Advice Goddess), author of a nationally syndicated column.
Learning to flirt can help you improve interpersonal relationships, your love life, and even your career. Here’s 10 useful tips to becoming a better flirt: 1. Get out of the house. Meeting people means getting off the couch, potato. 2. Take the initiative: other people are shy too&mdash nothing ventured, nothing gained. 3. Nothing terminates encounters faster than sexual comments, canned lines, or threatening conversation. Small talk is important business, and good manners are a turn-on. 4. Learn the QCC’s for starting a conversation: ask an open-ended Question, make a Comment, or give a Compliment. 5. Go interesting places to meet interesting people (bars don’t count). 6. Anyplace can be a meeting place&mdash make where you are work for you. 7. Have a flirting prop: a best-selling book, a t-shirt with a fun saying, a dog, or an interesting piece of jewelry&mdash it’ll give others a reason to talk to you. 8. Adopt a 3-strike rule: Ask a person out once, twice, but if some refuses or ignores you a third time, move on. 9. Don’t take rejection personally. Being single is a numbers game and we don’t die from rejection&mdash we only think we will. 10. Flirting’s not a one-shot deal&mdash Try and try again.
Source: Susan Rabin, author of 101 Ways to Flirt: How to Get More Dates and Meet Your Mate.
Learning to flirt can help you improve interpersonal relationships, your love life and even your career. Here’s 3 important flirting skills you can practice anytime: 1) EYE CONTACT: Eyes are the window to the soul. 3- to 5-seconds of consistent eye contact will convey acknowledgment and attention. Lingering looks from a distance will invite others to return the glance. And playfully animating your eyes and slightly tilting your head are good subtle flirting cues. Holding eye contact for too long though will make you come off like a psycho. 2) SMILING: A smile signals interest, but it must be sincere. Practice by smiling in the mirror, in pictures, or by having friends critique your smile. Remember, a real smile causes wrinkles at the corners of your eyes. If you need help relaxing, think about instances where you honestly smiled, maybe by remembering a happy memory or funny joke. 3) POSITIVE BODY LANGUAGE: Keep an open, easy-going posture (avoid tightly crossed arms, clenched fists, or standing like you have a broom up your ass ). If you tend to fidget, try holding your hands behind your back or talking with them. Also, leaning forward while talking and occasionally adjusting your tie, hair, or glasses subtly convey interest.
Source: Susan Rabin, author of How to Attract Anyone, Anyplace, Anytime.
Flirting&mdash acting amorously without serious intent&mdash can help you improve social skills, romantic life, friendships, and job success. Where need and desperation are turn-offs, flirting is a charming and honest expression of interest in another person.
To some, flirting comes naturally; to many, it is learned. Flirts have a good sense of humor, are interesting conversationalists, and good listeners. To receive an A on your flirting report card, remember the 3 A’s: Attitude: Decide that it’s OK and wonderful to flirt. Approach: Use body language in a positive way to attract others by looking open. Action: Make a decision to flirt&mdash practice regularly until it comes naturally.
Source: Susan Rabin, director of The School of Flirting and president of Dynamic Communcations, Inc.
