This holiday season maybe you’re hoping for a real sex machine—the kind of guy who’ll deliver a long hard fucking that makes your ass beg for more! Well now you don’t have to wait for meet a man of steel to enjoy non-stop plowing! Just plug in the Fuck Saw or the Star Fuck Machine and get ready for a bumpy sleigh ride.
The Star Fuck Machine has 8 speeds (between 1.4 and 8.2 strokes per second) and provides a handle so you can enjoy the veiny six-inch dildo going in and out of your reindeer stable. Or if you have a partner, grab the Fuck Saw and go between 0 to 2,300 strokes per minute with a thick seven-inch dong—whoa! There won’t be a silent night in your house for some time.
There’s only one week left before XXX-Mas so from now until the 25th, QC’s gonna recommend some of Stockroom’s best holiday goodies for your friends and fuckbuds alike (like the Dress Me Aaron magnet set, the chrome-plated teardrop cockring, and the Rude Boy prostate stimulators). And on top of those great gifts, Stockroom’s also having a holiday sale with plenty more to stuff your stockings! And if you order by today, your order will arrive by December 25th! So don’t delay… Santa wants you to get naughty right away!
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be the least sexy holiday anymore, thanks to Stockroom’s Thanksgiving Sale! Now, instead of over-eating with your geriatric relatives and falling asleep alone on the couch, you can get a hot group of guys together and really stuff your pieholes with sweetmeat and gravy! Stockroom’s got a great selection of toys for seasoned pros and curious newcummers alike—perfect for personal use or naughty holiday gifts! Blue jelly anal beads for $4.50, a double-headed dildo for $20, Gun Oil lube for $7, and a 7″ Silver Slimline Vibrator for $5.50! There’s even an assortment of leather collars, cuffs, belts, as well as a sling and a mancage! With such an awesome array of inexpensive sex equipment, you’ll have a very happy holiday season indeed.
The sale only goes until December 2nd, so check it out and make this year’s holiday feast a little spicier!
How many times have you thought, “Man, this guy would be a lot cuter if he’d just shut up and get me a sandwich?” If you’re like most guys, you’ve probably thought that at least twice in the last month. But do they ever shut up or get you that sandwich? Nope. And you’re left annoyed and starving while he yammers on.
But now there’s an easier way to get the man, the silence, and the sandwich of your dreams—The “How May I Help You” Gag! Good help has never been so easy to find. Simply tell your boy that you’re interested in playing a game, put on the gag, and then force him to do your bidding. Want a cocktail? Voila! Some hors’doeuvres? Presto! A punishing butt toy? Go and get it, bitch! He’ll literally crawl on all fours just to serve you hand and foot!
It’s chic, unique, and diabolique! And what’s better is that the How May I Help You Gag also accommodates several attachments, like an attachable dildo, ash tray, and there’s even a feather duster and toilet brush! So after your buttboy’s done serving you and your friends, he can get a head start on weekend chores before you each take turns sodomizing him—fun!
After watching over last season’s episodes of True Blood, we’re definitely in love with Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgård). Unfortunately, since the second season finished at the end of summer we’ll have no one to suck us dry until next year.
Thanks to FleshJack, we won´t need to wait until next spring to have ultra-hot vampires sucking our life force. Just in time for Halloween they’ve released a new product, the Count Cockula, a vampire-mouthed FleshJack with stimulating fang texture inside.
A couple of days after Count Cockula’s release, we got our own in the mail. It came in very discreet packaging, however, the UPS guy looked at with lustful eyes (maybe he was also desperate to feel Eric’s fangs rubbing his dick). We ran to our room, unpacked Count Cocukla, and there they were, inside of a can soda case: 2 big and sexy fangs ready to devour our cocks. Fleshjack was even kind enough to send two free samples of water based lube, so we could start to jacking off right away.
First we turned of all the lights—vampires love the twilight and we didn’t light any candle because we are queers, not girls. Next, we turned on the DVD and went for it. At first we felt a little afraid that the fangs texture might hurt our dick, but actually, it was the most exquisite sensation we’d ever felt. If your cock’s very sensitive we suggest you remove the bottom lid to decreased the suction. But if you like hardcore sucking, just leave it on and you’ll experience an incredibly intense orgasm.
The guys from Fleshjack probably didn’t base Count Cockula’s design on Alexander Skarsgård or Robert Pattinson. But as nastily addicted to masturbation as we are, we’ll fantasize about whatever vampires we like sucking our dicks. Count Cockula is almost like sex, except you don’t have to sleep in Dracula’s coffin or call him the next day.
You still have time to order Count Cockula and make your Halloween night even hotter!
Fleshjack sent over some preview photos and a behind-the-scenes video of Topher (who you’ve probably seen before) sticking his gorgeous cock into an Ice Jack. We’ll have more videos from other Fleshjack models and rumor has it, Chinpoko has gotten himself into a Vibro for next week’s column. Stay tuned!
We actually watched a video of the guys getting molded and we can’t wait to grab an actual Visconti-molded mouth Fleshjack, (I might just make out with it at first, before I shove my dick down his Fleshjack Boy throat) and a butt Fleshjack (I loved how the Triplets laughed remembering what it was like to get molded for this!) and hold on to your cocks—they’re also going to release their first Fleshjack Boys Visconti-molded dildo. We can’t wait to get a grip on this one. In fact, I may just have to buy three to get the real effect. According to the Fleshjack Boys, these will be shipping in early summer. We can’t wait!
Playgirl model and porn star Nicholas Ryan (aka Reese Rideout) recently posted a hilarious video of himself doing some hula hooping with his Wii Fit. It starts with his muscular bod in nothing but a g-string, but gradually improves as he gains speed, strikes poses, changes costumes, and even pulls out nunchucks and a riding crop. Too bad he didn’t do it naked and erect, but still a very hot and fun video!
The Fleshjack is a product specifically created for gay men by the folks behind The Fleshlight. The Fleshjack looks like a huge flashlight with a very realistic mouth or cute little butt where the light should be. The casing encloses the soft fleshy inside called the Superskin, which comes in your choice of orifice inserts: mouth, butt, and a nondescript opening that kind of looks like a coin slot.
The inside of each Superskin insert has three variations of sensations from which to choose: speed bumps, super ribbed, and wonder waves. The speed bumps are little soft nubs, the super ribbed consist of small grooves, and the wonder waves are wider indentations.
You also get your choice of fit for the Superskin’s internal canal: original, supertight, and ultratight. Basically, these are meant to accommodate the size of your penis and satisfy your desired fit. It encompasses everything from virgin to, well, let’s just say someone who is sexually generous.
One great touch is that the Fleshjack comes with a cap that covers the end, giving it the appearance of a sleek flashlight. You could carry this out in the open and no one even would know it’s a sex toy!
The latest (and current bestseller) product is the Ice Jack. With the same super soft patented Real Feel Super Skin™ insert, colored clear for enhanced visual stimulation but all the same pleasure as the original pink. Comes standard with the clear Ice Case.
Clean-up is always very easy. The inner Superskin is removable, and you simply wash both parts with warm water and soap, rinse well, and towel or air dry. Every guy should have at least a Fleshlight in his nightstand on standby!
