Porn Break: This Independence Day, Scott Baio Says Put It In The Wrong Hole


America’s founding fathers fought the Revolutionary War so that US citizens would have the freedom to stick it in any hole they like. But even still, some folks still feel shy about tossin’ a ball park frank up someone’s dugout. Scott “Charles in Charge” Baio knows how you feel. His buddy just ruined a perfectly good date by sticking it in “the wrong hole.” Freedom can be scary, especially when the “wrong hole” feels so right. But will Baio’s pal go balls deep or stay defeated on his duff?

05 Jul 11 By paperbagwriter 1 Comment

QCA Music Quickie: Lady Bunny Versus A Cheesy Dick


We already know how you guys feel about blowing a cheesy dick, but how does New York’s most famous drag queen, Lady Bunny feel about it? When she finds a muy caliente papi packing a big fat chorizo, little does she know that it comes with a side of queso.
If you recognize the music, it’s partially because Johnny “The Gay Pimp Daddy” and Calpernia Addams used the same beat in their parody “Likin’ Big Dicks.” Will Lady Bunny succumb to his sharp cheddar taste or will she learn to love it? After all, she is already a fan of “pickle surprise.”

02 Jul 11 By paperbagwriter Write a comment!

Zac Efron Publishes His Secret Diary Online!!!


Boy pixie Zac Efron has always seemed just a little too perfect. But we stopped thinking that once we read his diary!!!
It’s true! Zac has deep thoughts and problems just like the rest of us—mobbing fans, paparazzi, getting his dick grabbed, waking up in a dumpster. Just. Like. Us. But lucky for him, he’s got brains as well as beauty. And it’s amazing what just a few pounds of cocoa butter can do.
So go ahead, take a peek at his diary. We’ve even got a second installment after the jump.
And for more celebrity skin check out Cinemale and Male Celebrities

Continue with “Zac Efron Publishes His Secret Diary Online!!!”

01 Jul 11 By paperbagwriter 1 Comment

QCA Comedy Quickie: The Man With The World’s Largest Penis


They say ‘Be careful what you wish for.” 23-year-old Justin Parker once wished for the largest dick in the world and now every night he goes to bed, he prays he doesn’t wake up. His dick is literally like a third leg. He has to stand in the shower to urinate, if he gets an erection he passes out from blood loss. He even once accidentally rubbed it against his best friend who then immediately threw up.
But will Justin let his big dick get the best of him? Or will he overcome his, uh, handicap? Watch this inspiring story and learn to appreciate your penis, no matter the size.

28 Jun 11 By paperbagwriter 2 Comments

Porn Break: Watch This Shredder Destroy Shoes, Tampons, And An Entire Futon!


Remember having braces as a teenager? You mouth probably looked like the shredder machine in this video—something no one would ever stick their penis into. But penises aside, it’s horribly fun watching these gents feed leather shoes, fruit, paint buckets, and all sorts of crap into this Super Destructo-Shredder 2000! And for some reason, they also decide to feed the machine feminine hygiene products—it loves them!! And an entire futon? Dang gurl, we bet the machine can really deep-throat when its not busy destroying everything. Fun.
What would you like to see the machine destroy next time?

19 Jun 11 By paperbagwriter 9 Comments

QCA Comedy Quickie: Your Work Out Partner Wants More Out Of You


Masokist the personal trainer takes working out pretty seriously. In fact, when you commit to a hard set with him, you better see it through. When his workout partner Brotein quits in the middle of an intense set, Masokist feels pretty let down—he has needs too, y’know.
But what’s a guy to do when his partner just quits in the middle of the action? Do you get angry at him? Do you try and start a new set or start pumping on your own? Or do you find a new workout partner? There’s not a perfect answer, especially because Brotein is way sensitive.
Side not: Masokist has got some killer abs. We’d go in for a hot set on the bench with him too.

16 Jun 11 By paperbagwriter 2 Comments

If You’re On Australia Got Talent And You Can’t Sing, Just Strip


Meet Dylan Yeandle, he’s a young mailman blonde hottie who has decided to perform of Tom Jone’s Sex Bomb on Australia’s Got Talent. The only problem? He can’t sing… at all.
That would usually doom a contestant on the reality talent show. But Yeandle has a secret weapon under his clothes—an amazingly hot body. So while he mangles Sex Bomb he drops a sex bomb of his own, driving all the girls in the audience—and the men visiting QueerClick—wild! He’s so hunky and hung that even AGT judge Brian McFadden has to ask, “Have you got a sock stuffed down there?”
Oh no, it’s not a sock. And the fact that it isn’t is probably the only think keeping the judges from eliminating him. Got keep those viewers tuning in, eh?

08 Jun 11 By paperbagwriter 7 Comments

Let “The Third Eagle Of The Apocalypse” Show You All The Penises In The Denver Airport


Yes, you read that correctly. Meet William Tapley, or as he likes to call himself “The Third Eagle Of The Apocalypse.” We don’t recall reading about any eagles being involved in the apocalypse, but that’s still one hell of a nickname. This gentleman has gone through the trouble of finding dicks all over Denver Airport, and not just in the men’s bathrooms. You needn’t be a toilet tramp to find penises pointing in every direction on the airport’s artwork and baggage claims. He has seen them… and he has photographic proof!
Know this—phalluses are Satan’s genitals! Though after watching this video, we’re curious if Mr. Tapley has ever seen a real penis other than his own. They’re not supposed to be rectangular and blue, darling.

02 Jun 11 By paperbagwriter 6 Comments

QCA Music Quickie: WTF???!!


Dating’s hard. So much mistrust. So many hot guys. So much temptation. What’s a man to do? Matt Zarley knows. Between the horny gardner, the bulging rugby mates, and the slutty pool pals, the video for his new single WTF is probably the hottest thing you’ll see this summer (well, apart from our porn of course). He just sits back and watches and so should you. We’re not so down for the flashing light stage—it’s a little too Liza for our tastes. But the skimpy underwear pillow fight and the hunky movers? Yes and yes. Summer has come (in our pants).

28 May 11 By paperbagwriter 5 Comments

QCA Comedy Quickie: Stop With The Socks, Use A Jizzle To Clean Up Your Cum!


Yes, most of you prefer to swallow cum instead of spilling seed, but accidents still happen. It can be a pain wiping cum off your favorite comforter or housepet, but have no fear—Jizzle is here! While it’s not a real product we can’t imagine why you’d need a space age chamois to wipe up a bucket full of cum, unless you’re hosting bukkake buddy meet ups. Even still, watch how easy cum clean up can be!
Via Manhunt Daily

24 May 11 By paperbagwriter 3 Comments

Chip Tanner’s Depiction Of Muhammad Has Great Abs, Wears A “SLUT 69” G-String


A few QCommenters have criticized us in the past for constantly picking on Christianity. Well the day of equality has come because our favorite insane porn YouTuber Chip Tanner has taken some time out to celebrate Draw Muhammad Day! In case you don’t know what that is, it’s a May 20th protest against some Islamic extremists who threatened to kill cartoonists who dare depict the Islamic Prophet Muhammad.
For the record, there’s no specific scripture in the Qu’ran forbidding anyone from drawing the prophet, but some scholars still disagree whether or not it’s forbidden in the tome’s additional teachings. Not one for the finer points of religious debate, Tanner simply whipped up his own slutty version of Muhammad, made a bunch of puking noises while flexing in lacy, pink underwear and then added this thought nugget:

“What do you think of that you Islamic religious extremists? Is your God really so insecure that he’ll actually get upset by a drawing made by a puny human with a history of mental illness and psychosexual problems? Or are you the one who’s insecure and you just project your problems onto supernatural entities to shield yourself.”

We certainly hope no one calls out a fatwa against Tanner, though if they did, he’d probably make an incredibly weird video about it. Something to look forward to perhaps.

23 May 11 By paperbagwriter 13 Comments