QueerClick

Does size matter? It does to some guys, and it may matter to lots of guys since he seems to be a good bit smaller than average, but I would say this:

Number one, with frequent use and over time, the penis does get bigger and thicker, at least a little bit.

The other thing: he should think and fantasize and come to terms with what his own sexual desires are. If he enjoys bottoming (or, at his inexperienced stage, just fantasizing about it) then he will have an easier time, no doubt about it. Learning to love getting fucked and giving good head will stand him in good stead.

He needs to think about what his best points are as a man and as a sexual being and put those out there, whatever they happen to be. And he needs to think about who he wants to be sexually, and go about trying to be that as well.

He needs to realize that guys who sexually reject him because of that one thing, his cock size, are shallow and are not really judging him for who he is because they didn't take the time to find out. So he shouldn't care, but consider himself lucky not to have to waste time on them. Instead he should keep looking for that guy who wants him desperately in bed because of the whole package and personality. But it will take time, introspection, experience and a certain amount of courage and bravado, either real or feigned. He has work to do, but he should go about it with confidence and a sense of humor. He'll find his guy(s).

hang in there. i have similar size issues, though i'm an ancient 47. i wish i had good news. it's TOUGH - a constant challenge that never really gets any easier. main advice = don't make it an issue and it won't be one. however, use this "disability" to build up your character instead of tear it down. walk tall. be confident. be careful NOT to put yourself in situations that might make you feel awkward - maybe go to extra effort to analyze just how shallow a potential partner might be. (note: younger guys are generally more shallow and less mature about this issue.) frankly, i think str8 guys have a harder time in this area. don't be afraid to laugh at yourself OR to beat the fuck out of someone who is rude. obviously, topping is the most difficult situation. if you enjoy bottom, you're in GREAT position - hardcore tops could care less about your cock. (personally, i don't do anal, which has not helped my issue.) be an oral expert or be creative in the bedroom. be prepared for some initial "shock", stay calm, then drive 'em crazy. WORK IT, BABY!!

believe it or not, the problem is not all that uncommon. in my younger years, i was pretty much an ACTIVE slut. i assure you some of my most memorable partners were SMALL endowed - they simply try harder. (yes, don't get me wrong, there were also some mighty BIG ones ... OH DADDY!!!)

i have been known to ask a potential partner right up front if it matters.

finally, it's not the end of the world. there are many other people with worse problems and fewer options. use careful / good judgement. don't let it keep you from enjoying a single day of your life. good luck.

Its clear from the pages of QC that size matters. Practically every guy featured has a comment about how big his prick is, even if it is quite small.

Its an obsession amongst gay and straight alike.

Sadly you have a small todger and you will need to find the one in a million that isn't interested in size

good luck

dude you need to chill out about your dick size and stop comparing it to porn stars. of course porn stars have huge dicks. dicks that big are rare and that's why they're doing porn. the average cock is only 5-6 inches. that means half of all people are below average and half are above. so get out there, meet dudes. and if they have a problem with your cock size, then they're clearly not worth your time. and find a therapist who can talk with you about your feelings of inadequacy stemming from your cock size. no shame in talking to a pro.

I dated a guy with a cock about that size once. But, because of his size, he'd never let me sleep with him.
I never cared, it was him personally that I wanted to be with.
The point to me saying this is, that your small penis means nothing. As said by the other gentleman, you might want to be a bottom. Or, you could find someone who's sensitive and cannot handle a larger cock.

(And remember, in Ancient Greek, a small penis was considered the sexiest)

Sexy is more than dick size. It's the whole package.

Being that you are 3 inches erect, you are considered some what small. But don't worry about that. Their are alot of men out their that have fantasies (fetishes) about small men. We all have different desires, some men like their parteners fat, some skinny, some tall, some short. We are all different and have different needs. Don't let this hang you up. Go out their and explore. You will find plenty of men, (alot of them not any or much bigger than yourself), who have the same desires and fears as yourself.

Be Proud of that Hot Boycock! You have something unique. There is nothing to feel insecure about. We're all different and so are our cocks. You'll have to work at getting over the "porn cock" stereotype. Next time in the locker room, check out all the sizes and shapes of men and their members. Also, don't assume this means you have to be a bottom. The BIG ones are fun to look at, but a lot of guys will prefer to ride manageable dicks. If anyone ever gives you flack, do you really want anything to do with someone who'll judge you on the size of your cock? I speak from experience, I'm built like a brick shit house and have the meanest 4.5 inch cock in town! Try to find some boycocked buddies to hang with.(craigslist is good) That helps too and is tons of fun. My BF loves me and my unhung cock. BE PROUD!

You see large cocks in porn because guys with large cocks go into porn. They are not average by any means.

I can say that, personally, a large cock is a nuisance. Like they say about boobs, more than a mouthful is wasted. To use another analogy, I love cars. Do I think about driving a Lamborgini or a Ferrari? Sure. Would I want one as my sole means of transportation? No way, I'd want something more comfortable, a better fit for normal use, so to speak.

Occasionally I'll see someone in porn that's smaller than the others and that ... Oh God ... That turns me on something fierce. Let Size Queens point their fingers, I'd be perfectly happy to make that cock disappear from their view.

Yeah, people fantasize about ANYTHING that's bigger, faster, stronger or longer, Hell, I fantasize about golden showers, but would I want THAT every day? Not me (not that there's anything wrong with that).

I think you'll be able to find someone that enjoys being WITH YOU, regardless of your personal body image issues. Enjoy yourself.

I used to be in your exact situation (stats and all) and all I can say is that it's psychological. I grew up embarassed about my cock and not wanting to shower at the gym and thinking no one would ever love me. I ate my pain and got really fat which made my small penis even worse. I was the fat funny kid who made fun others laugh to hide my own pain.

Hopefully, you'll be able to get past your body image issues as I did. Once, I accepted the fact that it would never get bigger (and the fact I was gay) things changed. I've since lost over 100 lbs and have a very active sex life.

Plus, I'm not a bottom! I actually top most of the time because the guys I date aren't mansluts. It's all about enjoying the sensation and not trying to get the biggest cock up their asses. If you think everyone wants a pornstar cock up their ass, you're wrong.

My suggestions, work on the things you can change -- your attitude (gain confidence. guys like that more than a big dick. you'll see), your personality, your body (it's about being healthy) and guys will like you for you.

That funny fat kid with a small dick is now the funny athletic guy with a small dick guys love to bottom for.

Dear Lee, Beloved. Hahaha just playing...

Sorry but I like to have a comedic entrance in all of my comments...but anyway, back to you issue.

I will tell you one reason and one reason only why you shouldn't be upset because you think you have a small dick. That reason is... You have a penis. That may sound simple, or simply stupid, but truthfully, you're lucky enough to have one. If a gay guy is choosing between a hot girl or you, it doesn't matter if you have a small penis or not, the matter is you are the kind he likes. AND there ARE guys that prefers small penises. I had a friend back in college who preferred guy with small penises because it gave him the boosts of feeling "more in control" and for some guys, that better. If you however feels like a top person, you can just simply talk to your guy and tell him how you truly feel that you shouldn't be limited to do something just because you have something that is small. REMEMBER, good gifts come in small packages...and I'm sure whoever you give your gift to is one lucky person : )

I'm not going to sugarcoat this. The truth is painful. You have a tiny cock. Almost every gay guy is going to roll his eyes and walk away when he sees it. Your only hope is to develop a hot body and an amazing personality. A loving, nurturing personality is going to be paramount so men will fall deeply in love with you as a person so the tiny dick thing hopefully won't matter. Otherwise, plan B would be to seek out men with a tiny dick fetish. They are out there but you will have to search hard. Try personal ads that state flat out that you have a tiny dick and are looking for someone who thinks that's hot. Unfortunately, for serious tiny dick fetishists, 3 inches is still too big. There are even smaller ones out there. But nothing is hopeless. Good luck.

Simple:
Find somebody who loves you for who you are - small dick and all.
You'll be surprised how many sensible men there still are out there!
Best of luck!

Babe, the LOVE of my life has a small penis and you know what? I DON'T CARE! I'm in love with HIM...he's sexy, caring, compassionate, beautiful, handsome, loving, and GREAT in bed. SIZE does not matter when you really care about your partner. You will meet some jerks along the way, but trust me, your perfect match will come!

Hi! Let me tell you my story. I have a boyfriend for 3 months now that I love and he loves me. We met 6 months ago and when we found out that feelings started to rise he admitted that in his previous relationships had a problem because of his size. I really didn't care and when we actually had sex he was nervous and was about 4" when hard and yes 1 inch when resting. We had a great time and that is not a problem for me. We switch roles and he bottoms me and viceversa. I'm bigger than him and is strange cause he is taller than me. But like I said I LOVE HIM!! You can find someone too, you need to be confident of you that is something that is not going to be provided from a different person. That's what I liked about him cause in any moment we interrupted our encounter by acting so aware of the differerent size. There is somebody for you that will date YOU not your dick. love YOU not your dick. 'Cause I would say something to those people like if your dating my dick then I'll take it off give to you and put it into a keychain jajaja. Good luck !!

This is the first time reading Queerclick that it was my eyes that got moist! I felt very moved that so many sensitive men gave such gentle, understanding and helpful advice to Lee. The only thing I might add is that I have run into men who were embarrassed because they feared their cocks were too big or who felt inadequate because they could never convince themselves that their partners could appreciate anything about them EXCEPT their damn big dicks. One thing is sure: When two people put aside their "inadequacies" what ecstacy they can achieve.

Tons of queers are hung up on designer duds, hairiness, body type, skin color, cut or uncut, huge-average-small dicks. My cock is average, but I keep lots of toys on hand to entertain intimate guests, because sometimes my cock isn't large enough.

Figure out how to be happy, inviting and available. If you want to break the ice about your dick size to "test the ice," be honest and simple about it, not ashamed.

There are plenty of guys with big dicks out there who are jerks. There are some buys with big dicks who are darlings. Besides, what can you do? Get happy, involved in things you love, involved with people you love, and watch how that attracts men.

Hi--

First, remember that "different" sets you apart, and some guys will like you just for that.

BUT -- we aren't doctors, we don't know what the penis size of your other family members is. If they are all very different, there may be some growth or maturation issue that a specialist can handle. And YES, your parents should have had you at the doctor for this six years ago or more.

AND -- make the most of what you have
ENJOY being different
LEARN to suck cock and kiss and be a great friend better than most people
DECIDE that being a bottom is hot, and do it great.
AVOID people who really want a guy with a big dick.

I, for instance, am a buttfucker, might have fun sucking that little one, have no need for you to grow a huge one.

REMEMBER it only takes ONE boyfriend who loves you the way you are, for you to have love. Take your difference as an opportunity to weed out the wrong guys for you.

BOB

I can tell you for fact that there are guys who like small cocks and even prefer them over bigger ones, how do I know, I am one of those guys.

There are probably alot more guys who like the small ones than you think. I have met quite a few in groups I have made for guys who like men with small dicks. I'm not saying there are alot of us, but we are out there.

Most guys who do like small ones, I think are afraid to admit it. I think cuz they worry that closed minded ignorant (homophobic) people will assume they are pedophiles, the same way that some people assume that if you allow gays to marry pretty soon people will be marrying farm animals. Obviously that is not the case, everyone is different and everyone's tastes are different; some people like pickles and peanut butter, I just like little pickles.

So what I am trying to say is if your not busy friday night you should come over....

or just

YES, there are gay men who will appreciate a man with a small penis

Hi,

I'm another guy who loves small cock. I'm always seeking in the net for sites with small dicks. And they are hard to find. On the other hand huge and big dicks are easy to find virtually and in real life.
So, be proud to have a rare beauty, something not so comom and therefore so desireable.

Lee -- I have never left a comment on this blog until now, but your story really spoke out to me, and I want to share mine with you. But first, I want to say that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are millions of guys out there with small penises. And almost EVERY GUY ON THE PLANET, no matter how big, is insecure about their dick size. It's because the culture we live in (both in the gay and straight worlds) is totally fixated on "bigger is better." And trust me, EVERY SINGLE PORN STAR or random naked guy who strips off on the web is way above-average. That's why they are brave enough to show it off -- because they know they are big. So what you're seeing out there really DOES NOT represent the reality of how the world really is. Most guys are between 4 to 6 inches. Secondly, your dick is REALLY NOT THAT SMALL. 3 inches hard? Consider yourself lucky. There are guys out there with micropenises that are 1/2 an inch long, people with deformed penises, peyronies disease, erectile dysfuction, etc., people out there with REAL disabilities. And then there are guys with dicks that are too big. That's an even worse problem. They start having trouble getting it completely hard by the time they're 30. If you are a healthy 20 year old with a penis that functions normally and can bring you pleasure, consider yourself blessed!!!

So here's my story: I too am a proud owner of a small penis (basically the same stats as yours). But when I'm soft, my penis disappears completely into my groin -- I'm not overweight at all, but I don't even have 1 inch soft like you do! Growing up as a pre-teen, I was always wondering when my penis would start growing. I had brothers with "normal" sized penises, and one time an aunt of mine even commented that "all the boys in our family were late bloomers." But mine just never seemed to grow, and by the time I was 17, I pretty much gave up on ever having a big penis. On the outside, I looked like your average guy. In high school, I was even pretty popular. But thank god, I never had to shower during gym class, and I always went into a stall in the toilets, so my secret was always safe. I was too secretly ashamed to have boyfriends or girlfriends, so I compensated by being the outrageous class clown and a huge flirt. I somehow even got the reputation of being a sexual expert and deviant who was into S/M and kinky stuff, so no one ever suspected that I was a totally scared virgin in reality. In college, I finally entered the gay scene. I had gay friends, did the clubbing thing, but I never went home with anyone. At some point in my life, I began to realize that cute guys were actually attracted to me, and I couldn't understand why. I felt so completely inadequate because of my penis size. So I would reject every guy that made a pass at me, because I was too afraid of letting anyone get to second base. It's like I locked up my sexual side and just threw away the key. I'm not sure exactly when my attitude changed, but at some point when I was 26 years old, I just said "FUCK IT." I'm done being lonely. I'm done being a virgin. I'm done living in denial. I want to experience sex and love and all those things, and I am not going to be a prisoner of my dick. So I just started dating, for real. Now that I was older and wiser, I wanted to really meet someone I could really love, someone I could connect with, someone that would love me for me and not just my dick. I met a couple of jerks, went on many bad dates, but finally met a wonderful guy that checked all the right boxes. On our third date, I invited him over. We started making out, and then one thing led to another...and it was amazing. We had an amazing night. And he never once even blinked, mentioned my dick, or anything. I discovered that when you are in the throes of passion, when there is chemistry between two people, the SIZE OF YOUR DICK really ceases to matter. I realized that even though I was completely a virgin and had never done a single thing with a guy, ever, it all came so naturally. I guess having watched great porn for over a decade helped prepare me! (I don't think this guy ever suspected I was a virgin). In that one night, all my years of insecurities and shame suddenly disappeared. I remember thinking to myself the next day, "Why the fuck did I wait so long? Why was I a victim of my own dick?"

From that day on, I began my own "sexual revolution." I learned how to finally enjoy and LOVE my penis. I'm not your joe-average dick. I am unique and special. And guys actually LIKE THAT. I learned that there were many guys out there who love small dicks, and who love my penis for exactly what it is -- it's 3 inches, but it's beautiful, gets hard as a rock, and is capable of giving an infinite amount of pleasure. Many guys enjoy getting fucked by a compact dick. Many guys love giving head to cock that that they can savor for hours without having to gag. And there is SO MUCH more to gay sex than just the penis. Most importantly, I learned that the sexiest thing in a guy is CONFIDENCE. I've met guys who were 100 pounds overweight, but they were so confident of themselves that it was sexy. I've met guys who I initially thought were horrendously unattractive, but after 20 minutes of talking to them, they transformed into the hottest guys just because they were smart, interesting and sure of themselves. If you accept, love, and CELEBRATE your own body for exactly what it is, I guarantee that you'll find that people will become naturally attracted to you. I have no idea what you look like and what kind of person you are, but just knowing that you have a unique 3 inch dick like mine makes you sexy to me. And I think that just having the courage to write in to this column is GREAT. I wish you all the luck in the world!

On vacation in Key West about 5 years ago I met up with a good looking guy aged about 30 whose penis was the same size as yours. We spent some time in the bars and then went for a walk ending up back at my room. He was one of the nicest guys I have ever met and we ended up having great sex. The size of his cock didn't matter. He spent the night with me and we had great sex again the next morning. So it's not the size of your cock that'simportant (except to immature size queens) but what you do with it that counts. Good luck.

Dear Lee, i wish i could tell you the words to comfort you but unfortunately i can't as i am in the same situation as you and it really sucks. However, it is great to see all those kind, reassuring and somewhat comforting words from everyone.

All i can tell you is that everyday is a own personal struggle for me but i am trying to forget it, and overcome my own fears and issues concerning this...its hard because we, as Men, are defined by our penises, we are differentiated from the other sex solely on this and it is a very tough issue.

Keep going strong and have the courage to live your life no matter what.

good luck!

"You have a tiny cock. Almost every gay guy is going to roll his eyes and walk away when he sees it. Your only hope is to develop a hot body and an amazing personality."

Lee, this is exactly the type of stereotypical, shallow, self-absorbed, judgemental person that gives the other 90% of us guys a bad name. Think: Obnoxious straight guys, permanently stuck in adolescence, who LITERALLY slobber when they see a woman with large breasts.

If that's the type you're looking for, or the only type you find where you are, then you need to change what you're looking for and where. ;)

Hey Lee !!

Hope you are doing well ... Don't feel bad about having a small penis, a lot of guys have a small dick -I'm not big, I'm average.... but I married a wonderful man... he has a small penis but a HUGE heart... sex couldn't be better ( he tops !!!) ... I hope you reach that point in life when you realize that your life is more than the size of your penis... wish you the best

Hi Lee ^^

Don't feel bad about what the media has brainwashed you into thinking is 'undersized'. In all honesty who cares!

If someone wants to be with you only cause you have a huge dick... do you really want to be with that person? Yeah, gays are shallow at the best of times but come on... that's not even in the shallow end of the pool!

I am sure there are heaps of fantastic things about you that other people will be interested in. Don't get hung up on just one part of yourself, when there is so much more!

I used to think in a similar way. I'm a little on the large side at 120 Kgs and I wish I could say it was muscle but its not lol. I never thought anyone would want to be with a 'fat fu*k' like me. Well I met someone who could see the good in me and he's now my husband. It's amazing how we always see our own shortcomings so harshly when others just see our positives.

Porn is great but lets be honest, are even 10% of the men in the world built like port starts? Not that I can see.

Be happy in your own skin mate and others will flock to you.

hi lee just go with the flow dont worry about having a small cock i have one by the way and it hasnt held me back so dont let it get you down. just build your confidence up over time and you will be ok.

i have a small cock 2,and when i was at school i would be ashemed 2 get naked with the lads,the size has been an issue 4 me,but sometimes when ur penis is warm and relaxed it will hang a bit bigger aswell as seem a bit thicker,that is the size that u r really ur penis starts right far back behind ur pubic bone,and also,its more unusual for the guys who have big dicks.when u do meet someone as u start 2 get closer just tell him that u feel a little nervous about ur willy,then the lad will soon reassure u thats its fine.and i wouldnt not get with u just because of that,at the end of the day as long as it functions properly and u can still come n have an orgasm then great,

Hey Lee..........

no worry...me too.... i have the same thing like urs... i am also ashame... and scare to find a guy... but now u know a guys that dont care about my size and he is happy with it... so u better work ur botty now to find one... i wish u good luck...

I have a small dick too- about 4 inches soft and about another inch hard. Honestly, it was not a big deal when i was in my twenties and hitting the bars every weekend. I've been a top in spite of my small size. Guys who were submissive and on the twink/queeny size didn't care about my size: they just wanted a masculine guy, which I am. I never claimed to be a monster top, and I avoided the shallow and trendy guys, who I guessed would be harsh and judgmental. Believe it or not, as long as you don't become obsessed with being a top, sex will be fine. I've been happy being versatile in terms of oral sex. Rugged tops like me because I fit the "boy" image, and queenier guys like me because I'm like the "guy next door." So, it's worked out for me. Yes, I've met a few men who made rude remarks about my size, but, probably, they weren't good lays anyway, cuz all they wanted was a big dick to fill them up- which means they expect another guy to do all the work because they have no skills themselves. Guys who love sex with other guys are not going to get hung up on penis size. Looks, build, attitude, and sexual interests, including kink, all play a role in attraction. Only the most unworthy guys are obsessed with the size of a partner's cock. As you get more experience, you'll learn that lesson. Good luck and remember that you shouldn't buy into others' unfair ideas and standards, unless you want to live as an emotional slave to psychologically damaged people.