QueerClick

DRAMA!

Every time you call or text and he doesn't answer, picture him laughing at you. Have some dignity, send a text or leave a message asking him to contact you. LEAVE IT THERE. Stop bugging him.

Move on and have a great life. Forget about revenge or paybacks, and don't become bitter: it's ugly.

At least he didn't broke up with you on a post-it.

Maybe he felt the only way to get away from you was to do it when you weren't there and text you instead of face-to-face.
Maybe he feels you are the controlling one and thought it would be a lot cleaner to do it quickly then get into a massive domestic dispute about it. Saves on the screaming and tears to.
If not, then he must just be an asshole, but if i'm right he probably felt safer to do it the way he did.

It always takes two to tango. So, not sure exactly what led up to this. Moving out in the middle of the day may be the best way to avoid uneccesary conflict and protect one's physical safety. I think it is common human decency to talk about things just so both parties have some type of closure. However, this does not always happen. If it doesn't, all you can do is allow yourself time to heal. And who knows, your ex may need some time to heal before he can talk with you about what has occurred between the two of you. Leaving a 3 year relationship is never easy on anybody's part. In fact, the both of you will likely go through a grieving process much like the death of a loved one. So, take time. Heal. One message is sufficient. The ball is back in his court. Remember, surround yourself with friends and if things get too intense, a professional therapist/psychologist can be an impartial party to help you through this difficult time in your life.

In my opinion, the best break up method involves discussion (primarily information and answers.) I assume you were left with no clear indication of why he was leaving/breaking off the relationship. If correct, then your ex handled the break up in a very immature manner. Perhaps he acted immature during your relationship as well, so you shouldn't be too surprised. If he was entirely too selfish to be a man and break it off face to face, then maybe he's not man enough to be in a relationship with you.

Yes, break ups can be difficult for all involved. And it's nice to be able to end on "civil", mutual terms. However, as many of us know, it doesn't always work out that way.

I agree with SteveDenver that you should resist the urge to call or text him. If he is not responding, then your efforts are fruitless and you should move on the best that you can. Why waste your time and energy with anger or trying to contact him? Focus on yourself.

You also have to ask yourself: are you upset by the way that he broke it off with you? Or are you more upset that YOU didn't end the relationship first?

Seeking some sort of "revenge" or getting the last word might satisfy you for a limited amount of time. But, in my experience, bad behavior is rewarded with the "bad" in the future. (What goes around comes around.) I'm sure your ex will be subjected to something similar in his future relationships. Hopefully he learns a lesson from it.

At the beginning when I read you question, I were about to scream: "Just forget completely about that asshole. Move on!" but I do realize, in such situation, confrontation is inevitable. You like a parent has a child whom you thought behaved so well, now unexpectedly rebels against you in a most shocking, humiliating and immature way. Worst, you just cannot strangle him because he keeps running away like a dog after biting his owner. Of course, all you have in mind is an explanation. And until you get it, you just can't move on. Some people strong enough to do it, but most of us don't.
You need to give him a strong, clear final message: "I ask you an exposition because you obviously owe it to me for such deceit. And I will not ask for an apology because I will never forgive your disgusting humiliation. It's a demand so I can completely get you off my life and we can both move on." And if he still not come clean for his own mess, you know you gave him the last chance. No more!
If he has the nerve to blame it on you, let him know that no matter who you are, there is not enough word to compare for such childish, irresponsible, disrespectful action. With such vile characters, how dare him put it on you.
Remember, whatever come out of his mouth, don't take him back. I don't believe anyone deserve for such lowliness. I swear to God, if I ever had such break-up, I would never allow myself to touch him again. It would dirty my hands.

Well, at least he informed you and did not leave you hanging. You should have gotten the picture by now. So move on.

A face to face confrontation may have been worse! So stop wondering how it could have been, if it ever has been!

Without details i dont know if he was an a-hole and ran out on you while at work, or you were a jerk and he ran when he got the first chance. If there were rules people would just break them. I know your hurting but turning to a bunch of porn obsessed internet strangers isnt gunna make it any better. Now unless you want some advice on douche'n, put on your best party dress, get your hair did and have a night with the boys and try to learn from what went wrong.

did he steal your money or credit cards or car? use your identity? ruin your credit? run away with your best friend? leave you with an s-t-d?

if not, consider yourself blessed. yeah, clean breaks are best. they're harder in the beginning, but more better in the long run. in 20 years, you'll hardly remember what the mutherfucker looked like. trust me.

Your ex is an ASS! The worst kind of ass he's a coward. Your friends are right good riddance.

You're angry and hurt. Do you honestly believe any other breakup scenario would have left you feeling satisfied and happy? You got dumped (from a decaying relationship) and your Ex did it in a chicken-shit way (unless he felt this was the only way to deal with you).

Work through the anger and hurt, however long it takes, and move on. Hounding him for an explanation or for any other reason is NOT moving on. What, exactly, do you hope to accomplish by opening a dialog with this guy?

You obviously want drama. He obviously doesn't. Any chance this caused the "fighting off and on?" Seems like he may have done this just the right way.

It's over. Move on. Be happy. Play again and better luck next time.

I think he has done the correct thing, it was clean and to the point, no matter how much talking you do in the end if one of you is not happy a break up is still a break up and you leave. I get sick of reading and hearing about Relationship Counseling.... most phycolgist are fucked up and that type of work is a waist of space, all they do is pro long the pain and make money from it. If you have grown apart as you stated there is nothing either of you can do but go your own way so put it behind you and move on.

Maybe you were really that bad! Sorry.

Move on is right! Mine left me while we were on vacation in Key West. Our anniversary. Also, we had just bought a house!

Anyway, as said before, what comes around...the guy wanted to have someone on the side.

Meanwhile, healing has taken time, and we now do consider each other friends.

I stopped reading after I saw you admitted to doing heroin. I'm not surprised at all that he wants nothing to do with you and wouldn't be surprised if he gets a restraining order.
Do not contact him, do not frequent places you expect to see him, do not, do not, do not.
Get your shit together and move on.

SORRY, BUT CHECK YOURSELF

....to see how you could be in relationship with that kind of guy, and what you must have ignored during it.
... and don't listen to bitter (dale) or soap opera comments: it takes 2 to tango, and you will do better focusing on cleaning up your part than on trying to figure him out.

Search youtube for "Kelly" and "You can't text message break up", hysterical and will make you feel better.

And yeah, he's an ass.