QueerClick

The issue can be either/both psychological or physical. Psychologically you may be creating built up apprehension about the situation and a person needs to be relaxed to let things 'flow' naturally. Also though, sometimes intense anal pleasure can cause a decrease in blood flow to the penis as your body has decided to pay attention to the great stuff being stuffed up your rectum instead. Proper relaxation exercises and an attentive partner should be able to cure your current sitch.

This is not the most scientific response, but I'll give it a try. I think it has something to do with how your body responds by allowing blood to rush to certain organs. We get hard when blood fills the dick. When your booty is being filled up with a massive cock, chances are that the body is responding by focusing it's efforts on accommodating the size. It doesn't mean that it doesn't feel good. Perhaps that guys who are consistently hard are used to the large size.

Additionally, porn (although fun to watch) is not the best reference point. More often than not, what we're seeing is a series of short clips edited together rather than one long sex session. The actors start and stop so the director can get the shots and the angles he wants. This allows the actors to fluff themselves so they appear hard throughout.

i have a simmilar problem with my boyfriend and its very frustrating. though i havent noticed with other partners that i was fucking. as a lover that tries to please his partner i find it very unsexual to see my partner completely soft while we are having intercorse :(

Many men find they lose their erection while bottoming. I do, about 50% of the time - this seems to be unrelated to size. A lot of my friends experience the same thing.

One of the myths of male sexuality is that your cock has to stay hard all of the time for things to be worthwhile. Another is that a big dick is better.

If you experience discomfort during sex (as sometimes happens during penetration) this will often cause a loss of erection. If you get worried about this it is likely you won't regain it. If you want to train yourself you could buy some dildos of varying sizes (small to moderately large) and get used to the sensation. I think this might help.

Big cocks are not for everyone. Personally, I prefer guys on the average to small side especially when it comes to girth. Big dicks are fun to look at but, thats about it. I mean who wants a sore jaw and ass from hooking up with king kong? Not me, I'll take comfort over size any day thank you very much. Dude, you're only 20. Listen to your body as you gain experience with these type things, you will find all your likes and dislikes. Have fun and be safe.

The big ones are better for sucking than fucking.

Looordy, story of my life. My advice: practice makes perfect! I'm a skinny 5'8 white boy and my bf is a lean, black 6'4 man with a huge dick. Trust me, it takes time before you're 100% adjusted and not really thinking about it. As far as it being physical or mental, I'd say that it's probably both. Your body, for one, is not used to taking that much in. Your mind, on the other hand, is a completely separate entity. I know for me, as like you who was used to the typical 6-7 inches from my previous bfs and dates, that even mentally when you see something bigger than that it's exciting and daunting at the same time. For me, I was over-thinking it, and was concentrating too much on what was going on inside me rather than how it felt.

My advice is just to focus on how it feels? Keep in mind that a lot of guys with huge cocks don't really NEED to be really good in bed to make it an intense experience, so that might be where your problem lies. Body and mind take time to adjust, and once they do you're golden. In my opinion from experience, the whole thing is mostly mental. I'm 21 and have also had a handful of sexual experiences with average sized guys, and I know that for me it did take a while to relax while having sex with my bf. But once you do it's great. Not that I'm saying to seek out every guy on the block with a huge cock, but if you're planning on sticking with someone you're going to have the issue with then just stick with it as long as they will wait for you.

I can rarely stay hard while bottoming. Ive never viewed it as a bad thing. It's just what happens. It's how some people are wired. I always get off one way or another during the encounter so it's never bothered me or my partner.

Also as everyone else has said, porn really isn't any form of reality. A lot of the guys use some sort of medical aid to perform for such a long time, that's why they're always hard.

OR MAYBE...................
The 2 "big boys" you tried didnt make love to you at all, because they are so in demand and don't bother, while the average guys paid attention and got you hotter.

I have to agree with Adam -- it may not be your thing. I also prefer guys on the average-to-smaller side. Don't worry about it a bit -- everyone has preferences and knowing yours will help you in the long run. Don't be completely obsessed with it -- you don't want to miss out on what could be a great relationship -- but don't worry about it, either. From the looks of most of these posts, you're completely normal.