(damaged boys) 21

There were five of them in the row of townhouses, and underneath the sheen of public normalcy and personal success lived the gaping damage within.
a lake in the woods
He didn’t know why it hit him just then, but Ben remembered it like he was back there, back in high school and pining. His stomach felt like it did then, knotty and tight, like he would vomit his affection for the entire world to see; and he could think of nothing more horrifying.

Ben remembered working at Hickson’s the summer before his junior year at Kenton Woods High. He’d hated almost everything about it. Hickson’s wasn’t exactly just a gift shop; it was also an old-fashioned sweets shop, Christmas store and restaurant. It was a cluster of turn of the century farm buildings that had been converted into this odd assortment of shops. At 16, Ben was truly the lowest man on the totem-pole with duties ranging from push-mowing the 2.8 acres of grass, to washing the steps and cleaning the bathrooms.
Somehow, his first taste of real work didn’t suit him, even though he was good at it. There were the women shoppers always gawking and clucking and chattering. There were co-workers, but none who did what he did. He was the heavy laborer as far as everyone else was concerned. He lifted and toted and reached things on the upper shelves. Once, he’d managed to break a grotesque Royal Dalton mug of some sort. The faces bulged and stared out from the shelves until they were purchased.
When he started the job, he was trained by the person he was replacing, an eighteen year old senior named Wade. Wade went to school in the next town over, but Ben knew of him. He’d seen him play soccer with his friends on the opposing team. Wade diligently explained every last detail of the odd jobs that would be foisted on him. He told Ben that he was leaving because it was too difficult to find enough time for school, soccer and a part-time job…so the job had to go.
Wade stood just shy of six feet tall. He had nearly jet black hair which was cropped short. His frame was lean and defined; he sported an end of summer tan and a mouthful of perfect white teeth which glinted every time he smiled. Ben was instantaneously smitten, and while he did not understand yet that he was gay, he knew he was infatuated. He was as enamored as he was in the second grade with his summer camp counselor, Leif. Leif was gorgeous and tan and sweet and smelled of clean linen. Ben was seven and knew nothing of sex, but he wanted nothing more than to be with Leif, to sit next to him, and to love him as much a seven year old could…like he loved his chocolate lab, Checkers.
Ben flushed, embarrassed. This was ridiculous. He was sixteen and had no use for elementary school crushes. But the more he tried to dismiss it, the more he wanted to be around Wade. He thought of him when he jacked-off, and when he was bored in class. His mind wandered to thoughts of Wade at soccer practice, running up and down the field in those hot soccer shorts. He imagined his muscular legs and sexy bulge – making himself rock hard in the middle of Chemistry class.
Ben rode his bike the three miles to work, and every day passed the subdivision where Wade lived. Now that the school year had started, Wade was busy with soccer and other extracurricular activities, living the most exciting life ever, Ben imagined. On more than one occasion, Ben rode his bike through the subdivision, hoping to catch a glimpse of him coming or going. Wade’s house was a large white colonial with new landscaping and a winding asphalt driveway leading up to the garage. No one ever seemed to be departing or arriving. In fact, it barely seemed a family lived there at all.
Eventually, Ben quit his job at Hickson’s and his crush on Wade tapered off. After college, Ben heard that Wade had graduated with honors from the Naval Academy at Annapolis and was now stationed in San Diego, flying helicopters…and married.
There was this theme in his life, wanting the unattainable…yearning for what could never be his, and it always stung, like it was new and fresh.
Ben walked down to the lake in the evenings after work, to think and to rearrange things in his mind. He walked along the edge of the gentle coastline, the lake lapping at his bare feet. Marcus was no different than any other crush or infatuation. He would never have Marcus, Marcus was impossible. There was no other option but to live next door and participate in this odd little friendship that was fragile and impenetrable.
Ben wanted to wash it away, rinse the residue of childishness, of unrealistic desire, of rejection. He removed his clothing and folded into a neat pile on the beach, ran into the lake and dove beneath the surface, where the quiet and the cold cleansed him, soothing past injuries, past foolishness.
Still, there was Sean, and he wanted to be clean and new from the beginning, not dragging past hurts along with him. He felt the sandy bottom beneath his feet, and felt more grounded than he had in months.
——
Wade walked to the far end of the Naval Station and into the machine shop. His eyes darted around the nearly empty building until he saw Merrick working alone at his workbench. Merrick looked up and smiled.
“You alone?”
“Yeah.”
Wade walked to the back office, with Merrick in hot pursuit. He closed the blinds and grabbed Merrick’s package. It was thick and hung heavily.
“You want some of that?”
Merrick dropped his pants and pushed Wade’s face down into his crotch. Wade ripped down Merrick’s boxer briefs, and his cock unfurled to full attention. It was a solid eight inches and thick. A wave of animalistic hunger rushed over Wade as he inhaled Merrick’s cock, wetting it with his mouth, drooling with anticipation. He deep throated the cock as far as he could get it down his throat. Merrick’s cock was just too fat to go any further – or so he thought.
At that moment, Merrick thrust his cock down Wade’s throat, forcing it to open wider to accommodate it. Wade moaned, startled by the extra inches. Merrick pulled out slowly and pushed it back down his throat, gently fucking Wade’s mouth. It seemed to get fatter and harder with each thrust.
At the same time, Wade’s dick was rock hard and leaking. He reached down to let it out of his pants. His pre-cum made his cock nice and slippery. He stroked it and it sent shudders of pleasure through his body. Merrick kept fucking his face as he jacked his own cock.
Merrick let out a groan. “I’m gonna fucking cum!”
With that, he shot his load, and Wade swallowed as fast as he could to keep up with Merrick’s monster load.
“Get up off your knees. I want you to jack off for me.”
Wade stood up, spit into his hand, and kept stroking his cock. He looked at Merrick’s meaty cock and it sent him over the edge. He came with such intensity that he shot his load several feet, hitting Merrick’s face.
“Fuck, that’s hot!”
They quickly cleaned up and redressed.
Merrick headed back to his work station, and Wade headed toward the exit to head home for the evening.
Merrick said, “You still married?”
“Like I always say…don’t ask, don’t tell.”