Ask QC: Curious Widower
Dear QC:
I am a recent widower in my early 40’s. My wife of 25 years was truly my better half and losing her I also lost myself. My wife knew of my curious feelings and fantasies of looking at other men. My wife knew I loved her with all my heart and that I just looked at other men because I was jealous of them. I have never pursued anything outside our wonderful and honesty-based marriage, although I did fantasize. It’s been six weeks since her passing and now being alone, I know I will NEVER find another woman like her. In fact I’m not sure I want to look and wonder if it’s time for me to explore those other feelings.
I have a doctor that is becoming as much of a friend as he is my doctor. I go to lunch with him and he seems to loosen up to where I can see a different side of him that when he’s in the office. He claims he has a girlfriend and yet admits he has a feminine side. He is attractive and I have more than (friend) feelings for him. I want to get closer to him and have more physical contact with him but am afraid to scare him off. If I scare him off then it would be awkward to see him as my doctor. I feel he may be gay and say he has a girlfriend as a cover and I want to find out by kissing him and even satisfying him in other ways, but again, I’m afraid to scare him away. What do I do? Do I take the chance in scaring him away and losing a doctor?
Curious and Confused
I am a recent widower in my early 40’s. My wife of 25 years was truly my better half and losing her I also lost myself. My wife knew of my curious feelings and fantasies of looking at other men. My wife knew I loved her with all my heart and that I just looked at other men because I was jealous of them. I have never pursued anything outside our wonderful and honesty-based marriage, although I did fantasize. It’s been six weeks since her passing and now being alone, I know I will NEVER find another woman like her. In fact I’m not sure I want to look and wonder if it’s time for me to explore those other feelings.
I have a doctor that is becoming as much of a friend as he is my doctor. I go to lunch with him and he seems to loosen up to where I can see a different side of him that when he’s in the office. He claims he has a girlfriend and yet admits he has a feminine side. He is attractive and I have more than (friend) feelings for him. I want to get closer to him and have more physical contact with him but am afraid to scare him off. If I scare him off then it would be awkward to see him as my doctor. I feel he may be gay and say he has a girlfriend as a cover and I want to find out by kissing him and even satisfying him in other ways, but again, I’m afraid to scare him away. What do I do? Do I take the chance in scaring him away and losing a doctor?
Curious and Confused
What say you, dear QC readers? Any advice, tips or experiences to help our curious widower talk to his doctor? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help those “Curious and Confused” in the comments section.
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Jan 29, 2008
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