PataPorn With Chinpoko!

Are you sick of the holidays? Well, Chinpoko is. Our Editor D caught him bitching at the water cooler yelling, “Enough with this Jesus’ Birthday stuff. Let’s talk about porn, God Dammit!” After a serious talk with HR, we assured our lil’ dick that we wouldn’t dream of forgetting to PataPorn With Chinpoko!

Randy Blue: Kevin and Leo Giamani
Chinpoko singing:
Heaven, I’m in Heaven.
And my balls are blue and I can hardly speak…
Just to see hot Kevin and Leo Giamani
When Kevin spreads Leo’s hole and slides between his cheeks.
Didn’t know I was a singing dick, did ya? Yes, I’m talented. I only wish I was as talented as Leo Giamani and Kevin. Y’know, they’re some of my favorites, and c’mon—Leo is QC’s Man of the Year!
One of my favorite parts of the video is the beginning. As Leo and Kevin talk, it’s so obvious that Kevin can’t keep his hands off Leo. He talks, smiles, and rubs Leo’s neck. I already started throbbing. After some hot making out, Kevin kisses all up and down Leo’s ripped body and then inhales that massive Italian sausage. I once had a great affair with an Italian dick, but he came with such an accent I never knew what he was saying. Another great part is all the dirty talk between Kevin and Leo. As Kevin rims Leo’s hole to get him ready for pounding, they both moan and whisper sweet nothings. It’s so romantic!
Really there are SO many good parts to this video, but here’s the last thing. Let’s hear it for Kevin. So many guys always go for the ass. Lick the ass, fuck the ass, fist the ass—but you forget the big finale always ends with me—the DICK! Kevin is a details man and I appreciate that as he pounds Leo, he stroke’s Leo’s cock. Way to think about the penis! I loved this video. I precame so much I looked like I’d been crying watching Titanic. If I had hands, Leo and Kevin, I’d never let go. I would never let go.

Next Door Buddies: Ricky M. and Dylan McLovin
Okay, so Ricky M. looks like Ricky Martin’s younger stocky brother. But I don’t think Ricky Martin would have a picture flipping off the camera. What the fuck? Why you gotta be like that Ricky M.? Also, what’s up with his dick? Is it me or does it look a lil’ crooked. But still, as painful as his cock looks, I’d fuck him real good, all the while, making him sing Menudo songs for me.

Mr. Papá Noel
Who is this man and why does he tease me with his ass? This is the hottest Santa ever and I totally want to tease his hole. I only wish Santa would had brought me him. But instead, what did I get? Nothing… because no one ever thinks about their dick. You guys just think we hang around doing nothing until game time, but we have feelings and needs, y’know? I’m more than just a pretty head and two furry balls!

Sean Cody: Harley and Mitch
Harley is back… oh my God. I love him so much. He makes me wetter than a Midwest woman gets watching a QVC marathon of the Joan River’s Jewelry Collection! Also, Mitch is so mother friggin’ handsome. He inhales Harley’s cock. Inhales it. And when they 69? I was throbbin’ like a sore thumb. Harley eats Mitch’s ass like a pumpkin pie; seriously, Mitch literally sits on his face. And the best thing is that you can tell Harley and Mitch are enjoying it soooo much. The moans and noises alone will make you drip!
I’ve decided that Harley should be called “Turbofuck,” because when gets to pumping—look out! He literally fucks so fast and hard that Mitch just shoots all over himself. And I almost shot when Harley jizzed on Mitche’s stomach for all to see and enjoy.
Ah, maybe Sean Cody is Santa Claus and he gave me this wonderful present of Harley and Mitch. I just wish he would put a bow on it and have them kiss at the end.
Is it something about the New Year that makes a dick hornier? I don’t know what’s happening, but I’ve been so fricking hard, like all the time. So as much as I love you guys—I gotta go bust a nut. And the next time I talk to you it will be the NEW YEAR, so make sure to take some time to get out there and get turned on!