Ask QC: Is Watching Cheating?

Dear QC,

I’m a big porn fan of course and I am in a long-term relationship. I really enjoy watching men fuck online and so when I was recently invited by a couple at a gay bar to watch them fuck, I had to tell them that I’d let them know. I’m not in an open-relationship, but my boyfriend does know about my porn habits; he just prefers I keep it to myself and not throw it in his face.

So here’s the deal. I went out with a group of friends to a gay bar when my boyfriend was having a movie night with his gaggle back at the apartment. Anyway, it was near last call and I was watching these two guys make out hardcore at the bar. It was pretty hot, with them pulling themselves into each other and digging their hands into their pockets and waistbands while kissing passionately. When they caught me watching I smiled and shrugged and they asked if I wanted to join in.

I said, “I don’t think my boyfriend would like that.” And they said, “You can just watch if you want to.” I declined again and left with my friends, but I’ve been thinking about their offer ever since. These guys are a couple frequent the bar my friends and I hang at. They’re both very cute and seem like nice guys. I have no doubt they’d respect my comfort level, but is watching a couple get it on the same thing as cheating? I mean, they’ll be having sex with each other, not with me… and I watch men having sex all the time on the internet. I sit and jerk off while they do their thing, so what’s the difference?

Part of me is just asking to see how other QC guys feel about this. I’m not sure that I’ll ever take them up on their offer. But where does porn end and cheating begin, especially in a case like this?

Bill from Brooklyn

Bill’s boning over two bros in Brooklyn. Should he take them up on their invitation as an extension of his porn habit or would that cross a line? Please share any advice and experiences that might help in the comments section.
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