Ask QC: Why Is His Old Breakup Affecting Me?

Dear Queerclick,

I’ve recently dated two guys with whom I hit it off great on the first couple dates, but when they break it off they say that they are not ready to date because of a recent end to a long-term relationship: “My head is not in the right place” and “I need to get my s*** together first” are the lines I’ve gotten. The most recent guy was with his bf for 5 years, and we went out 4 months after they broke up.

I’ve only been dating for a year and so I’ve never experienced a long-term relationship and so I obviously don’t know the emotions associated with the gay equivalent of a divorce.

So my questions are, what is the normal course after a break-up? What is it preventing these guys from committing to dating when there is an obvious chemistry between us? Are they using this as an easy excuse to dump me?

Thanks Guys:)

Chris

Chris has been striking out and hearing the same tune from his men. How do guys get over their exes anyway? And are Chris’ dates being genuine about their post-breakup feelings or are they just using a line to get off the hook? Please share your advice and experiences in the comments section.
Have a question for QC? Send ’em to [email protected] and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!