Ask QC: I Love My Boyfriend, But He’s A Liar

Hello Queerclick,

I have been dating my bofriend for almost 3 years. He is 22 and I am 31. I love him dearly and I think he loves me too. But we’ve had many problems in the past, some of them like him telling lies and not admitting it even when I’ve got all the facts.

First, he created a profile on a site saying that he was single. When I asked him about it, he said no. I asked him several times and the answer was still no. When I showed him the site, he got angry. He said he didn’t want to see me again and then began to cry and bang his head against the wall!!! I decided to just forget about it.

Then a few months ago, he added one of my student on his profile. Now my student doesn’t know him personally. But when my boyfriend and I go for walks I often see my students in town. My boyfriend always teases me about them and always
wants to know their names. When I came to know about him and this student in particular, I didn’t tell him anything.

But one day when my boyfriend was with me, we met that particular student. My boyfriend just walked away and didn’t meet the student. Afterwards my boyfriend started asking me lots of questions about him, pretending as if he didnt know a thing about him!!! I got angry and phoned the student and he told me that he knew my boyfriend. But even to today my boyfriend never admitted even knowing the guy.

A few days back, I discovered he added another student, Tom. My boyfriend knew Tom was my student and Tom came and told me about it. When i asked my boyfriend, he said he didn’t add any student named Tom. I asked him several times and the answer was still “no,” Then he said that he adds lots of people and that maybe he added him, but didn’t know he was my student. Now, I know for sure that he knew the guy was my student because he always used to tease me about him, asking me how he is.

Please advise me what to do. I know that my boyfriend will never tell the truth. For him, I am the one who is accusing him of something he never did. It’s been four days and he hasn’t even called or SMS. I’ve heard nothing from him. And I’m sure he is lying and I know he will never admit it, just like in the past. Please help. Thanks.

We certainly have our own opinion about what this gent should do about his lying boyfriend (hint: it rhymes with “dump him”), but it seems like he genuinely loves his guy, so we’re wondering… is it possible to reform a liar? Could it be that his boyfriend is lying for a certain reason that our advice seeker could clear up? Is there a way he could end up having the same boyfriend, but without all the games? Please share your advice and experiences in the QComments.
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