QCA Video Games: PRIVATES Goes Where No Game Has Gone Before (In Your Ass)

We already know which video games have hot gay sex in them, but what if you catch a computer virus? You don’t know where all those joysticks have been. That’s where Privates comes in.
Privates is a fast-paced shoot ’em up… in your butt. Err… well, maybe we should just let the game developers explain:

Privates is a platform twin-stick shooter in which you lead a teeny-tiny gang of condom-hatted marines as they delve into peoples’ vaginas and bottoms and blast away at all manner of oozy, shouty monsters.

So once you’re done getting cyber filthy with all those other gay games, Privates is the burning lotion that will wash the cooties away. But is it weird that they’re basically calling your butt a military zone? Some of your butts are like military zones, but not ours. Our butts are like velvet-lined boxes with moist cupcakes inside… and glitter unicorn sprinkles. Although both our butts have power-ups and stray sperm inside. Go figure.