Health Tip of the Day: Make Yourself Some “Macho Salad”

Do your love of showtunes and saketinis make others think you are a poof? Have your lady friends “always wanted a gay guy to go shopping with”? Do you blame your ineptitude at ball sports on your love of cock? Well, it’s time to mix all that negativity into a chair-humping, oil-spitting MACHO SALAD.
Jörgen will be our instructional chef today. He’s the star of the Swedish film Farsan. Jörgen has “become convinced that his wife thinks he isn’t manly enough. So he “embarks on a quest to become more assertive and studly in order to save his marriage.”
We normally prefer a Cobb Salad—something with animal flesh, fatty bacon, artery clogging blue cheese, and globs of ranch dressing—but a macho salad is just as good. Just squeeze the life out of those sissy tomatoes, break that cocky cucumber in half and PUNCH THAT FUCKING SALAD IN THE FACE! Not only will the large veggie chunks make swallowing a man’s challenge, but every bite will taste like pure awesome because you totally pwned it (yes, pwned)!