Did The Trapped Chilean Miners Fuck And Agree Not To Discuss It?
You may have heard about the recently rescued Chilean miners? 33 men got stuck underground together for 69 days. Yes, 69. They stayed trapped for 17 days before they learned that anyone was coming to save them… the sort of stressful situation that would make us kill for a handy or a beej. But now that they’ve been rescued, have they made some sort of secret pact not to talk about their sexy time underground?
Mario, one of the rescued miners said, “We are used to working in darkness—we are miners. We can feel our way down there in a way other men cannot.” Uh-huh… we bet. But were they busy drilling each other deep in the Earth’s bowels before their rescue drill came into the tunnel? The Daily Mail investigates:
Mario (one of the rescued miners) says: ‘No, nothing like that ever went on. We were too busy trying to survive to think of sex. We didn’t really even talk about sex. We spoke of our wives and we made some jokes but we never talked about sex seriously because that would have been too painful.’
They did strip down to their underwear in the 92F degree heat, wash each other with water trickling down from a rock, occasionally told jokes (probably a few about pussy), and then went off to cry away in private—but those were about the gayest things they did.
But isn’t the first rule of Mine Club that you don’t talk about Mine Club?!! Why is Mario discussing the secret pact now if it’s so darned “secret”? Mario elaborates:
“The reason I am speaking is that people have been gossiping and saying things and I think it is important for one of us… to answer some of the things that people are getting wrong. Saying we had sex down there with each other is just plain wrong.
‘There are some things I will never talk about. But they are things that would embarrass some of the kids. Nothing sexual, more that they acted like kids. It is important, even now, for the older ones to protect the younger, more vulnerable ones.’
So stop being such a perv, guys! All they did was pray and worry about their wives. Maybe one or two of them spanked it, but that’s totally a personal super secret private time. You wouldn’t want us telling everyone about the times you’ve jerked off out of desperation, would you? GAHHH!
