Ask QC: Should I Try To Blow My Amazing Best Friend?

Dear QC Family,

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place (pun intended). I’ve become very close to a friend whom I met just over 2 years ago. Over a year ago, after a sleepless night with a swarm of butterflies in my stomach, I told him I had fallen in love with him and asked him to be my boyfriend; I was on top of the world—until he said, “I love you too but not in that way.” I started to isolate myself from others and the people I did see could tell something was wrong.

I never knew a heart could really hurt that bad. I contemplated the idea of never seeing him again because it hurt too bad to see him knowing I couldn’t “be with” him. It took a while to get past it and just accept friendship, and we’ve been good friends since. However, sometime last year, I recalled to him “You know how I feel about you” to which he responded he knew.

We continue to see other as friends a couple times a week, and we get along great—one of the best friendships I’ve ever had. Here’s my dilemma—my feelings still haven’t changed, and he knows it and he still hangs out with me. He is such a beautiful person on every level, and he’s HOT to boot. So I frequently visit the idea of just asking him if I can blow him. If I ask, will he run? If I don’t, will I regret it? They say, “It can’t hurt to ask.” Well….I don’t know what to do; next time he comes over, should he go or should I blow?

We’re glad you can turn to your QC family when you need some good advice. And here’s our first take, angel cake—we have all totally crushed hard on a close friend before, believe us; it’s almost a gay rite of passage. Your friend may seem like all that (and maybe he is), but you’re putting him on a pedestal as the end-all-be-all of gay experience. That’s bad for two reasons: one, it sells you short and reduces your self-worth to whether or not he wants to “get with” you. And two, it’s not him but what he represents that’s really got you turned on; he’s safe, he accepts you, he’s a great guy. Probably the same sort of guy you’d like to be (with)? That’s what you want, but you may be barking up the wrong tree. What do you think, QC family? Should he go for the blow and if yes, how so? And if he doesn’t how can he deal with the pain of unrequited love? Please share your experiences and advice in the QComments section!
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