Ask QC: How Can I Overcome my Self-Consciousness?
Dear QC,
I’m soon to be 20 and have been out for over 2 years. I’ll be starting my third year of college in the fall, and I still have never been in a relationship. I’ve had 4 or 5 of those “almost boy friends”, a few hook ups, and even fell very hard for a friend once, but none of that is the problem.
I’ve always had a harder time talking with guys but lately I’ve notice that any kind of social contact with a man, whether gay or straight, I shy away and pretty much run the other way. Whether I get introduced to a guy, or that cute guy I see everywhere that I make eye contact with, I never know how to go about saying anything and usually end up feeling like a total ass. I tend to get very nervous, very anxious, and scared. I worry about everything; Is my hair okay? Do I look fat? Am I coming off as creepy? What if my gaydar is effed? Aren’t they so outta my league? Am I wearing the right shoes? There have been countless times where I have come off as very bitchy when putting my defenses up around guys, but when it comes to a woman of any age, we could easily talk for hours.
Even though I know that I’m “skinny”, and all my hags say I’m cute, and I’ve been told I’m cute by cute guys, and I might even feel cute sometimes, but when it comes to approaching men I still feel like that scared, fat closeted boy I was in that little homo hating badonk town high school.
I’m not that experienced or confident in any sort of way when it comes to men, so any advice from you handsome QC readers would be greatly appreciated!
College years can be considered to be one of the most interesting and experimental periods. While we old farts can very confidently say that our dear friend here will have many years ahead for self-discovery, we think it’s encouraging that he’s trying to pin-point his weakness so that he can be someone’s better half. So let’s help him with it!
Remember the jittery feeling when you’re next to someone you liked, making you aware of everything and nothing at the same time? How can one be comfortable around potential boyfriend candidates?
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
