Ask QC: Should I confront him?

Dear Ask QC,

I’ve been living with my partner in a long term relationship for 7 years now, he’s 35, I’m 27. He works and provides a great home for me and I like to think I make a great home for him too. I’m part time studying and the homemaker. As my partner travels a lot for his work, I get to spend quite sometime on my own, which I actually enjoy and is good for my studying.

Around 6 months ago, when I was using his iPad a few messages from an App flashed up on the screen, which confirmed that he was meeting up with other guys for sex. This may sound a bit fucked up, but I actually dont mind him doing that although we’ve never discussed being in an open relationship. I’m quite content and not as highly sexed as he is, and I have a good life so I just let it be.

From what I can tell, his sex dates with other guys only happen when he’s away so when he goes on his business trips across state, he’s usually away for 4 or 5 days and thats when he’s hooking up with other men. When he’s back home with me, apart from his regular 9-5 at the office he’s at home with me or we go out together each night. We pretty much spend all our time togther, eat all our meals together meet up for lunch/dinner as our home is near his office, I quite often walk into work with him as its near my university too.

The thing is, as I don’t really want any confrontation, and I’m happy with our life. Even though I know what he’s doing and I’m ok with the situation, I’m not sure how to bring the subject up or even if I should? I haven’t discussed this with our mutual friends as it will get back to him, and when I told my closest friend her first reaction was that I should leave him. Now she think’s I’m nuts for not saying anything, but it’s my life, our relationship and not hers. As I’m happy with the way things are, is it better to turn a blind eye or to let him know I’m ok with him having an open relationship? If I say nothing will it make things worse in the long run?

I’d really like some advice from guys who are in a similar situation, rather than a moral lecture or opinin thanks.

Charles

Hi Charles and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. There are infinite possibilities in a relationship between people to make it work – what’s good for you may not be for the next person. So bearing that in mind there are sure to be others here who have experienced and handled a similar situation to yours either now or in the past. So, dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you give Charles? If you can help him in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice with all in the QComments section!
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