Ask QC: Is Versatile a Plus or is a Defined Role Preferred?

Hi Ask QC,

I’m a 22-year-old gay man trying to navigate the world of dating and hookups. Here’s the thing: I identify as versatile and I equally enjoy both topping and bottoming, depending on the vibe and connection. But lately, I’ve noticed that many guys seem to have pretty strong preferences — they’re either strictly looking for a top or a bottom.

This has me wondering: in the hookup scene, is versatility seen as a plus, or do most people prefer someone who fits into a more defined role? Sometimes I feel like I should just pick a lane and stick to it to make things easier, but that doesn’t feel authentic to who I am.

What’s your take on this? Is being versatile an advantage, or does it make things more complicated? And how can I approach this whole situation while staying true to myself and keeping things fun?

Thanks for your advice — I’m all ears!

Best,

Xander xx

Hi Xander and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. While we all have our preferences sexually, each is a unique experience and doesn’t necessarily need to be defined so precisely.

So dear QC readers, what advice would you give to Xander with his predicament? Please feel free to share your thoughts, advice and own experiences in the QComments section below!

Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!