QueerClick

Wow. That's insane.

Well, while I personally cannot understand such sacrifice, I would strongly suggest that you make sure that he gets help at all cost. Of course, assuming he's not using suicide as an excuse to be heard - like what most people usually do (subconsciously).

Call me apathetic, but if he even considers thinking about suicide at his age over a long distance relationship, he doesn't seem to be mature enough to be able to handle being in a real relationship. Let alone moving to another country and living a whole new life.

Let's be realistic, if you guys are not going to be able to be near each other, it's going to be hard to be in a relationship. So with all due respect, I would suggest to not make him anymore in love with you. Clearly neither of you are ready (emotionally and financially) to be in a relationship. That's just life, and it's unfortunate but we have to live with it. So unless you plan on moving to Canada, I really don't see any other option.

As for his suicide threats, you're going to have to tell whatever relative or guardian he's living with that he has suicidal thoughts and that he needs help. He doesn't sound very rational to me, and that can be because of so many things, from mental illness to just immaturity. But just in case he is sincere about it, contact his relatives/guardians ASAP.

And please, my main advice is for you both to seek rationality. Whatever path you guys choose, have realistic expectations.

I hope everything works out for the best. Good luck.

Well, suicide.. should not be taken lightly. HOWEVER, you are both still VERY young and the young tend to be very dramatic - especially in matters of the heart.

If you want something bad enough you can make it happen. If you really want him with you all you need is a plane ticket. Have him come stay with you until he gets a job, etc.

If he wants you bad enough and wants out of his home bad enough he will let go of all his things and hop on a plane.

THATS LOVE.

OK, the best advice I can give you is this:

Contact a suicide prevention hotline. You can't assume that anyone on here is a crisis counsellor (I used to be one, but haven't been for some time and it's not something I feel qualified to jump back into cold).

Here's two national lines for the USA

1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-273-TALK
1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-8255

And here's a list of distress centres for Canada:

http://www.befrienders.org/helplines/helplines.asp?c2=Canada

And lastly, some points to remember if someone expresses to you that they are suicidal (taken from the befrienders website):

What do people who feel suicidal want?

* Someone to listen. Someone who will take time to really listen to them. Someone who won't judge, or give advice or opinions, but will give their undivided attention.
* Someone to trust. Someone who will respect them and won't try to take charge. Someone who will treat everything in complete confidence.
* Someone to care. Someone who will make themselves available, put the person at ease and speak calmly. Someone who will reassure, accept and believe. Someone who will say, "I care."

What do people who feel suicidal not want?

* To be alone. Rejection can make the problem seem ten times worse. Having someone to turn to makes all the difference. Just listen.
* To be advised. Lectures don't help. Nor does a suggestion to "cheer up", or an easy assurance that "everything will be okay." Don't analyze, compare, categorize or criticize. Just listen.
* To be interrogated. Don't change the subject, don't pity or patronize. Talking about feelings is difficult. People who feel suicidal don't want to be rushed or put on the defensive. Just listen.

Nick needs professional help in which Garrett is unable nor should provide - assuming Nick is sincere about his suicidal tendencies. If no professional help is provided to this boy, he is likely to out grow this emotional status.

Canada is far better off than us Americans where gay folks can get married over there.

Clearly this guy is not stable... proceed with extreme caution. If he really believes life is better in the US than it is in Canada, then he has serious mental health issues!

He first needs to see a professional about his delusional thoughts about the US, then you should move to Canada and marry him.

And... about that suicide thing... get him some professional help for that too.

I'm starting to feel no matter what the best intentions are of peoples behalfs, that this probably isn't the best medium/segment for most guys to have questions answered. I understand that we are trying to get a familiar perspective on subjects we can all relate to, but sometimes the topics that come off this segment bother me to the point, where I wish QC would supply a proper professional for questions that are important, like this.

Repeat 10 times - I can make his life better but he has to make his own life good.

Neither of you is ready for a relationship. He needs help for his suicide thoughts and you need to quit falling in love on the internet. Let him get some help, you go to self-esteem class, and re-visit in a year or so.

As a licensed psychologist I would agree with a previous post. You MUST never take suicide talk lightly. A professional needs to do an evaluation of this individual asap to insure he is receiving the mental health help he desperately needs. Recommend he see someone and contact those helplines mentioned earlier to see what interventions they recommend and/or can provide for this individual. Suicide thoughts can never be considered "normal" and action should be taken whenever they arise. Also, if this is pulling you into depressive type of feelings, it might be a good ideat to seek some support for yourself as well.

If you love him, GET HIM HELP. If he's talking suicide, you don't need to sort this out, professionals can help him sort it out.

If you get together and he doesn't find help, he might still kill himself and the damage to you could be horrendous.

He needs to heal himself before you tie your lives together -- depression or mental illness is difficult and best dealt with between friends. Nick has rushed to cling to you, and now it sounds like you are riveted by his instability. Good luck, but don't jump in too fast.

Your stunning infatuation brings back such memories.