QueerClick

if your friend is straight then you shouldnt ask him or expect anything from him. If he is a good friend who you feel comfortable with then it would be okay to tell him about your sexuality and how you feel but like i said do not expect anything. straight Highschool boys can be cruel, especially when reputation is involved.
p.s. not to make light but your situation sounds like the beginning of a cheap porn.

Unless your love of this sport is so intense, I think you need to separate yourself from that culture (football culture) Next, you should get out more. As good as he may look, there are other similar looking guys that will want you.

Ah, the straight acting gay jock. What a predicament to be in. Let me just say that your story is not uncommon and there are so many young men, like you facing this everyday, so, you're definitely not alone. My first high school boyfriend was on the football team as well and we had to keep our relationship very much on the down low because he feared he'd be persecuted.

I think you may have already answered your question with regards to approaching your team mate. You can't. You mentioned he was "hopelessly heterosexual". Need I say more?

I think the bigger issue here at this point is your acceptance of your own sexuality. Can you handle it? You're only beginning to scratch the surface. In time, you will be able to tell your team mates and eventually your father.

Hidden Jock - if you are sure he is hopelessly hetero, then you will only heap grief on yourself. Unfortunately, the fall out could be a disaster for you as well as your team. Weigh everything carefully before you make a decision to move forward with this. On the flip side, if you 2 are ever alone and some mutual hints are dropped, it could be a beautiful relationship. Hard to say bud, hard to say. I wish you the best. It's a shame but society, majority speaking, and in lots of sport areas, are so afraid of gays. Please let us know how things go. We're thinking about you.

Wow. That's a tough situation. I've been gay since I can recall, but I could not admit it to myself until freshmen year of college. Congrats to you for doing it so early. I knew in high school, but never said it to myself or anyone.

The best advice I can give is hang in there. Unless you are almost certain that this other (dream)guy is going to reciprocate, I would not do anything. Of course, you could always try to get him drunk (along with you) and fool around a bit and just blame it on the booze later ("boys will be boys"). I doubt he'd have problems with that, like mutual j/o or whatever especially with beer involved. I played three sports in high school (2 tracks and soccer), but football is a tough one. I am also not advocating underage drinking, I didn't drink til it was legal, but I was trying to figure out a way to alleviate your stress.

My other advice would be to figure out who that one friend is that would probably be cool with it. For me, I picked a friend that was close, but not my best friend. I told her, and she was the only one that knew for at least a year. And she was cool with it - though I almost died trying to tell her. My freshman year roommate also found out accidentally (porn on my computer), and knew for about 5 months, before we actually talked about it. He was cool too (a swimmer). It helped that someone else knew - it was our little secret. I became more comfortable in college, eventually it was no big deal, and everyone knew. I didn't have to say to everyone "I'm gay" - I just would make little comments, have Orlando Bloom posters in my room, etc.

Bottom line: make sure you are comfortable telling him, or anyone else, make sure the environment is most conducive to you coming out of everything OKAY. College is a great time to do so, a fresh start. There are many stories out there of gay athletes in the NCAA and other levels. You could try searching google for some of those to get more advice. All the best.

Sounds fake...like a letter to Hustler.

Need pictures for proof :)

Hey Hidden Jock,

Pssshhhhh.... wow, this is so hard to write. It is bringing back many memories from these past years of my life. Oh well, okay here it goes. I fell in-love with my jock four years ago when I was barely a high school freshman. Actually, we both fell in-love with one another. It was weird really... I mean, I knew I was gay and all but I had never had feelings for another dude before. He didn't either and that made things so much more special. There was so much chemistry between us; it's definately true opposites attract. You see, I'm not athletic at all or anything although I like to keep myself in good shape and yet that didn't matter at all I guess because we were still really into one another anyways. So we both knew we cared about one another... yet we never said anything. Not because it was better to keep it a secret and make it fun or whatever but rather because we couln't talk about it. He was like you; in the closet. And I understand you have to be... and I'm so sorry you do. I am not shouting I am gay myself but I never had to pretend I was not gay, never had to have sex with girls in order to seem 'cool' or whatever. I never had to fit in because I really didn't care to, I had accepted myself for who I was a long time ago. My jock in the other hand did have to have girlfriends and have sex with them and it just hurt me so much whenever I would find out about it. It was a horrible feeling to know not only that he was with some stupid slutt but also that he had to pretend he was someone else when we both knew he wasn't. I know this expression is rather corny but it would break my heart everytime I heard the rumors that went on about him. Even righ now as I am typing this I can still feel that pain inside. It's just its so unfair that he had to be like that for other people to like him because he was such an amazing guy and yet by him not standing up for himself but rather wanting to keep things okay with everyone he had to sacrifise his own happiness and along with his mine as well. Because even now I still cannot but think of what could have been if we could have been together. And it hurts. It hurts a lot because I would have helped him yet I just couldn't. There is no happy ending to this story. Actually, I don't even think it has really ended anyways... who knows, perhaps things can happen but I high doubt it and I am not hoping for it anytime soo anyways.

Please, please don't do that to yourself. Be yourself. Be as gay as want and be okay with the idea. Because you deserve to be happy and it's not fair to sacrifise your own happiness for everyone else's comfort. Those who do love you and care about you will continue to love you and care about you regardless if you are gay or not. They love you right now, you're gay right now, it obviously doesn't matter. It shouldn't matter. Those who will judge you, and trust me there are people who will, do not matter because they will not be a part of your life anyways. But love yourself! Because if you do not love yourself then no one else can. I realized that the hard way because my jock didn't love himself and therefore I couldn't either. And you cannot continue to live your life that way, it's hell and no good for anyone. I know it is not easy to just live on hope alone and therefore you need to do something about it. Even if it is not coming out, just accept yourself to yourself for who you are and you won't need to date those girls. You won't need to lie and that is a big, big step. To me your "I guess" on being bisexual shows you don't consider yourself as such and it's okay, you don't need to be bisexual. You can be gay and it's okay. You won't destroy your reputation, you won't hurt anyone... you will only be freeing yourself. Remember, those who truly love you will stand with you regardless. Because hopefully you are not planning to stay in the closet forever... I can't even think of how horrible that must be.

So... about that jock of yours... Are you friends with him? You can hang out with him if he is and something might happen if you act discrete and test the waters to see whether he is into you or not. If you're gaydar hasn't picked him up it probably means he is not gay though. But it's worth the shot. Just hang out with him, test the waters by bringing up a gay subject (like what he thinks of prop 8) and see how he reacts. Move on from there.

Good luck. Hopefully everything will work out for you even if it is not with that guy. Because really when you think about it, any guy can have sex with another gay and that doesn't mean they are gay. When a man falls in love with another man... then they are gay. And that's okay.

sounds like a masturbatory fantasy. why doesn't anyone ever write in that is skinny, iunpopular and has a small dick? like real people.

if it's real, you're only 18. trust me. you will have all the sex you want when you're in college or away from home. there really are worse problems to have than be built in every way, shape, and form.

Well, first step is to come out about your feelings to those closest to you. Has your dad ever portrayed that he accepts gays or is he homophobic? If you can open yourself up to him, it'll make things a lot easier on yourself as you won't feel you have to act like your the man's man just to make him proud. I'm sure all you want to hear is that he loves you for being his son, gay or not. Try mum first, they are always more understanding or any close friends.

For some this will be the things fantasies are made of and for others this is a real problem. Whether its fake or not certainly there are many of us who have fallen for the straight boy at school and had problems controlling ourselves in the showers after gym class! I learned the hard way - falling for the straight boy didnt work out (does it ever?) and getting aroused in the showers resulted in me being bullied. At least if you're 18 you will be out of that situation soon so just hang on, dont do anything you will regret later on.

I love most of the comments people put. However I appreciate the intelligent few that basically told this kid that his world is a porn masturbatory fantasy. Real supportive. Hidden jock, I hope that no matter what, you discover that being gay (if you are) is not about sex, dick, and ass. Gay men can relate to one another besides sex. It's much deeper than that and I hope you find that, it seems as if "casey" and "christoph" have not.

in solidarity,
steve

p.s. i love you A NEW GUY, you give great advice sugar.

Stay hidden until you are finished with football, independent and living on your own. Say nothing to the receiver. He will betray you. Sucks but it's reality. My story is almost the same as yours. I came out. I was betrayed, humiliated, scorned, driven off the team. But life goes on and now everything is cool.

I would go for it. I am sure he is gay, many of these hypermasculine guys are gay, so I would think he is a go. Plus if you are checking out each other's dicks, then you are all gay. Only straight guys don't look at other guys dicks, so I would hit on him.

Hey QB Hidden Jock: I feel for you as I have been there. Sounds pretty much like a situation I had in high school when I was on the football team. I doubt your wide receiver friend will admit even if he is gay also....for fear of what you have reiterated to. High School guys can be dicks especially those on the team. It's doubtful they'll only ridicule and demean you if you do by chance do something with your friend and they find out, or you don't and your friend tells his buddies because that is probably what would happen. You are young and have your entire life ahead of you...just keep it in your pants as the ole saying goes until you feel that you can come to grips with your homosexuality in telling those close to you that you love. I feel for you....God Bless you 'bro.

I would strongly suggest that you leave it alone. Many of the previous comments are leading you in the same direction. But don't be discouraged with finding yourself...hell, I bet most of the commentors on this blog will agree... at least 1/3 of the guys on your team are either gay, bisexual, or bi-curious! Unfortunately, those will be the ones who will destroy your reputation, crush your spirits, and drive you into a state of depression about your sexuality.

One commentor suggested you live in the fantasy...but wait. I agree. If you choose to go to college... that is the time for you to explore your sexuality if you have ANY reservations about it at this point in your life.

Situations may occur while you're in hs...PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!! No matter where you go following graduation...that place will always be home. If you make an advance on ur teammate, or try to comeout to him and the reaction is devastating...you'll always have to come back home and deal with the past.

It's so much easier to try new things in new places when you have so much uncertainty at this point in your life.

I have been in love with my straight best friend (also a star football player) since we were 17 years old (we're 29 now). And although he knows about me... I have never told him about how I feel about him.

True enough... he accepted me for who I was when I told him... but you don't want to jeopardize a genuine friendship or relationship due to lust and desire. He might not freak out if you tell him... but best believe... your relationship will never be the same.

Now on the otherhand... like someone else commented... try to find some time for you and him to just "kick it" over a couple drinks. Try to steer the conversation in a direction that makes him comfortable opening up... i.e. ("Man, I had a cousin who told me he was gay... What should I do?") Find out how he would react. Even if you think he would respond in a favorable way...it's not a green light for you to come out yet... It just lets you know he's somewhat objective. Don't try to accomplish too much in one drunken night... but take your time, be observant... Hopefully all things work out. You may not GET him... but you may also avoid a disaster while maintaining your friendship!

When you say he is hopelessly heterosexual, I can't honestly believe you think a date or a sexual relationship is possible. There are many gay and bi guys outthere would love to have a relationship with you find one that shares your interest and sexual orientation. At least you have a chance at real happiness and not something that only exists in your mind.

Oh good lord, this reads like a Penthouse Letter.

I'm calling bullshit.

But in the spirit of this being a porn site and all, I say do exactly what any porn narrative would advice: One starry night, after the big game, sit and drink some masculine brand of beer and smoke some weed on the hood of your Camero with this paragon of heterosexual manhood. When you've sufficiently male-bonded -- calling each other "bro" and "bud" and whatever else muscled teen jocks call each other these days -- suck his dick. Later you can both just chalk it all up to being drunk and stoned. Or maybe get football scholarships to the same college so you can join the same frat! Imagine the sexy problems you'll have then!

Alternately, if you're feeling kinky, you can incorporate some "Dad-Coach" character who teaches you the finer of man-love in a comfortably heteronormative way so that you never have to admit to yourself you're a flaming pansy-ass faggot just like the rest of us queers.

You know, whatevs!

Just jack off into the mirror since he looks exactly like you and you haven't come out. Wouldn't it be a shame if he went home with the second-string quarterback, his new boyfriend, and you were standing there with your massive boner with soulful tears camoflauged by water from the shower cascading down your beautiful sad face.

Sorry you're so beautiful and scared to leave closet.

Take him camping and get him really drunk. Then reenact Brokeback Quarterback.

I doubt the sincerity of this. Any intelligent human being would think the word, "FAKE!"

As a 19 year old closeted gay man I know how you feel. Even before I came to terms with being gay I had major crushes on friends/schoolmates. With my one friend, it took me a while but eventually I came to the realization that my friend is straight, he's not going to change, nothing is going to happen so it's time to move on from it. I'm still friends with him but I now think of him as a brother, not a lover ;).

It's unfortunate that we're in a society that is so full of hatred and intolerance but as the saying goes "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Being able to live life through all the hardships with being gay/bi makes you a stronger person which is a bittersweet reward.

In your situation the best thing to do is what I did with my friend - forget about it and move on from it. There are lots of guys out there that you'll be attracted to who will accept you for who you are and you won't have any worries or doubts about a relationship with them.

As for coming out (should you want to), I can't help you there. Even though I have parents who I know will be fine with me being gay, I still am having a hard time coming out. Still, I think coming out after high school though is definitely the best thing as high school is faced with so many challenges as it is, coming out would make things even harder.

Hope I could help in some way and I wish you all the best.

Leave him alone until you're away from it all, the team etc, trust me I know. Unless you're up for the pain, cause that's what it will be.

ps. Steve Prince, I thought you weren't looking at porn for a week, looks like he'll be buying dinner sugar.

LMAO at post 17 by vans...

My advice if this is even a real letter. Wait til college. Your 18... that means your a senior right? Well in 8 more months you can be as gay as you want at the right university.

Sure there will always be some cynics who dont believe whether this is real or not, but I'm pretty sure there are guys out there who have been in this situation - my advice is dont act on your feelings, its not worth the risk - wait a while until you are at least in college or a place where you can openly be gay. There is no point putting everything in danger by acting on your feelings in a school situation, especially as here it seems to be in a very homophobic environment. Good luck for the future.

I think others have pretty much given the advice you need, particularly those telling you to proceed with caution as this is your HOME. Get to know him better, use that scenario "Gay cousin" to gauge what he thinks. Worry more about making sure you don't tear a good friendship to shreds. Don't you DARE listen to anyone who says that most HIGH SCHOOL GUYS are gonna be gay, bi-sexual, or bi-curious. That's a dangerous attitude. Don't assume anyone's sexuality. Straight guys look at each other all the time -- it's called self-conscious comparison...duh.

For those who may not believe this story, please do everyone a favor and just not respond. I mean, really, that's the best way to respond to stuff like this. Sadly, those 'Porn Stories' you refer to actually tend to happen in real life -- the only difference is that it doesn't end happily or with a corny sex scene. So...yeah. Just something to think about. (And, really, what high school star player doesn't think he's God's gift to everyone, looks, dick and all?)

I'll bet a share of General Motors stock this letter was written by a fat balding 58 year old who hasn't had sex with anyone other than himself for many years.

Hey, I'm with Christoph, Casey and a few others. The set-up ('Football team', 'Quarterback', dad's the coach, hung, lust interest hung, etc.) sounds too contrived: like a bad Falcon porno.

However, the one observation that has a grain of truth is the persecution of the guy who noted the two guys looked like 'twins', based on their appendage size. He's only guilty of excessive candor. He was only saying what is on everybody's mind.

Most 18 year old guys are 'sexual' rather than gay or straight. And when you put a bunch of horny late-adolescents in a gender-intensive setting like a football team, where they are constantly exposed to each other in various states of undress, I'm sure most of them think about each other sexually at some point. I think in the past these thoughts were more likely to have been acted on. However, thanks to the 'gay' movement, today everybody identifies these normal feelings as 'gay', and I don't think homoeroticism makes guys anywhere near as uncomfortable as the 'fabulousness' which 'gay' attaches to it.

So if this story is true, which I highly doubt, I wouldn't be so quick to wrap a rainbow flag around our young 'quarterback'. It is entirely possible that his crush will resolve, and he'll find some woman. At the end of the day, I think our sexuality is determined by who we end up falling in love with.

All I'm going to say is this just be yourself. I mean I was of course I was kinda on the outer fringes in High School but, I was friends with everyone from the jocks to cheerleaders artistic types, the smarties and so on. I can't say I ever really was "OUT" in high school but hell I never was in either, but most if not all didn't know. But, when I came to college it was totally Different story.
Away from home in a new place trying new things can be a totally cool experience just be careful and make DAMN sure not to get your heart broken. In closing I'd like to say I agree with JJ, JDC,jj9, josh, but most of all A NEW GUY for giving the greatest advice of all. But when you do come out to your parenets make sure its on your terms and when YOU ARE READY to do it and nobody elses' MAY GOD Bless and please update us and let us know how things go we are your friends here of just a freindly ear to gage yyour problems and HOPEFULLY give very sound advice. :)

That's what happens when you're closeted. I'm not against being closeted, but it has its baggage (as does being out). You cannot approach anyone at school (even if they approach you, that could out you before you're ready, or doom the relationship with secrecy and lies). Find another activity where you'll meet new people.

On the other hand, come out of the closet and take your knocks. Hopefully not literally, though being a big, buff, tall, hung quarterback, uh-hem, what have you got to be afraid of? Meanies? Towel-snaps? What is this? The 50's? Tell your team mates. As a quarterback you've ALREADY has earned their respect.

Coming out in high school is hard... i didnt hehe Its almost easier of you are effeminate because people might alrady assume your gay and the shock and anger doesnt come all at once... but they have to deal with regular abuse. soo my advice would be this gay guys fall in love with straight guys all the time and it almost never ends well. So have fun relax and if something happens great but if not then you dont look like the idiot putting moves on your friends. I promise it gets easier college or just life outside of high school allows you to meet lots of guys... and if u are a masculine guy you will be happy to know there are lots of masculine muscle gays out there ready to hang out with you. It can be aggrivating in high school and your so eager to go for it because all the straight kids are doin it.. But be patient dont do something stupid just because your all horned up.. wait it out and always stay open just in case. Your gunna meet a great guy and be very happy but it might not be in the locker room.

Wow looks like a lot of good advice from a lot of people man. The only thing that I could possibly add is, you're going to have to use a lot of your own instinct on a lot of the decisions you'll have to make... For instance no-one would ever think of you as gay, bi or whatever...so maybe it's the same with this guy.. Maybe he's bi, or gay or atleast curious.. You're going to have to spend some time with this guy to figure it out and hopefully develop a sense( or gaydar) about him. I understand that you're probably frustrated and ready to see what man on man sex is like outside of the occasional jerk-off session. But because of your situation and unless you are willing to come out to your classmates and your parents you'll have to use some discretion.. And unfortuantely right now that means being very careful about who you want to spend time with. I can only hope that this guy you want to hang out with and make love with feels the same way. But you won't find out sitting in gym class with a hard-on. You'll need to have that first hand exprience and that means getting a feel on him, and seeing if he feels the same way. And in doing this you'll start to develop a gaydar, and you'll pick up on certain things and you will know with a reasonable doubt wheter or not the guy you're digging is feeling the same way... I don't know if this will help but I hope it will. Don't worry about not getting the chance to experiment, from the way you describe yourself there are thousands, literally thousands of guys out there that would give their left nut to be able to, "hang out" with you man..

go for the lineman first...get some experience, then both of you guys get the 'receiver' (lol) drunk and and you know what's up...

worked for me!

I am sorry I have not responded sooner but I just found out where to look for the advice you have all so graciously given me. New Guy thanks and all of you for the help here.

I owe you the rest of the situation.

To be honest for the nay sayers I don't know how you can fake something like this the endowment comment was about the comments from the rest of the team and believe me if you think any of these guys are gay no fucking way.

I can't confide in anyone here. My town is 3000 people in bum fuck Kansas and all love football, dream football, hell they fuck the damn football. You guys are right about that.

I am writing now because of what happened this weekend seems to put all of your advice in a nutshell.

This past friday, after school, is the team bonding ritual where I pick next years captain. My secret passion, as you know, is my wide receiver, seriously he is beautiful, body mind spirit.

I do not wish to offend the feminine gays out there I like the real masculine guys like me. Is that normal? Is anything normal? I don't know anymore.

To be honest I am so sheltered here I had no idea the pain all of you have been through, god I feel so bad for all of you and said a prayer at church sunday for all of you tho I doubt he even listens to me after what happened.

Anyway I don't drink or smoke so , so much for some of the other writers fantasy's about what I should do with my wide receiver.

I will call him Mike. It was about 2 in the morning friday night and the team was at the lake with a bon fire on the ice and two of these slut chicks get up in the back of the pick up and start the strip. I am appalled, no this has never happened before and I was leaving.

Mike gets up on the pickup and yells that I and he are going to fuck the bitches and starts to strip. The sluts start to cheer fuck me mike and the same chant to me.

Okay you get it, he got my attention. He is down to his wool socks it is fuckin freezing with this erection I had never seen before and I was hard as a rock he jumps down and runs to me come on dude lets fuck these bitches and I said ain't happening.

The chant started fuck the bitch ...fuck the bitch and the team strips me down they throw both of us up on the truck.

I am looking at Mike the whole time during this gross act and I am losing it he was turning me on watching him fuck this bitch. The whole team is watching us the girls are screaming with orgasms under us, it was pathetic and surreal.

Mike finishes and sits on my ass jumping up and down with his bare ass on me and I could feel his wet dick on my back and honestly I came like my race horse gettin over the fence to the mare.

When I finally disengaged I ran got my clothes got into Mikes car, since I came with him, and left without him.

I got home shaking went into my room and looked at myself naked in the mirror and realized I was beautiful, a faggot and disgusting.

I completely hated myself and wondered how could god be so cruel to make this man and I don't like a woman..what the fuck is that and picked up my desk chair and threw it through the mirror.

I take the chair and put it under the bedroom door handle so no one can get in I collapse in the corner with my knees to my chest and I cannot stop crying.

My dad is trying to get in yelling at me to open the door but honestly I can't get up, I just wanted it to be over. The door comes crashing in and my dad is standing over me and says What the fuck is going on here.
Are you crying? Unheard of for a REAL man!

My mother for the first time in her life pushes my dad out of the way gets a blanket and puts it around me and hugs me tells dad that he needs to leave. Its was just to much for my father he left stunned.

Mom didn't ask anything she hugged me for awhile and got me to bed.

The next day , of course, my dads solution is to go to the doctors. I did not say a word to him I could not talk maybe a break down I don't know. So the doc says it is hormones and that I need some rest.

On the way home dad says to me why didn't you just tell me you needed some rest?

I flip out..what this is not the perfect picture dad
Did I EMBARRASS YOU
... didn't I fuck enough woman for you...

gee dad I should have taken a picture of the sluts mike and I were fucking last night in front of the whole team cheering us on dad you sure would have been proud then dad..

what didn't I throw enough touch downs to be the perfect son, the perfect FUCKING MAN for you dad HUH dad HUH.,.
He back handed me and that was the end of our conversation.

I get home and Mike is there to get the car and he is the epitome of polite to my parents.
So he says to me "What happened last night?
Look I am sorry I know your pretty sensitive about shit.

I am really mad now and say to him what is that supposed to mean. He goes nothing you know, sensitive more than other guys.

I go sensitive huh and throw a punch to his jaw and we go at it. I mean the fight from hell is going on. Normally my dad lets these things agitate themselves out , as he puts it, but he stepped in cause I might have killed him I guess.

I am wailing on Mike on the ground telling him he is an ignorant fuck.

Dad pulls me off, Mike is in tears going What the fuck is that all about and leaves and here it is Monday and I cannot go to school.

I cannot think, I cannot feel anything.

I am accepted with full scholarships to any University and I dread it , I dread my life. The fuckin stud dreads his life and there, there is your cruel irony.

Don't worry I am not going to do anything stupid I have already gotten my full of that.

My dad decided that I need to talk to someone, our priest, if you can imagine.

Well believe it or not I think he is right, however, right after this I am heading out to a town that is 100 miles away and get some help with this. It is bigger than I am, for sure and all of you have helped me see that and for that I am eternally grateful.

You do not need to respond to this you have helped more than enough already and pray for all of your success.
Thanks for helping me more than you could have possibly imagined.

So when you see some humbled college star quarterback throw a touchdown pass it might be me.
That touchdown is for everyone of you and I promise you will know which one it is!

Later
screwed up jock

deep stuff. what college are you going to? I'm just starting college too, and I want to fuck the shit out of u!!!!