Ask QC: Ex-Gay, Okay?

Dear QC,

I have a friend who was gay. I use the word ‘was’ because he changed his mind. He’s 25 and decided that before he’s 30, he wants to have kids. So he broke up with his boyfriend, told everyone he was now straight and called up an ex-girlfriend to ‘give things another go’ as he put it.

I just think he’s making a terrible mistake. He always said that things never seemed right with women, and that he was so much more comfortable when he was with men. Ever since I’ve known him, not once has he evr mentioned the opposite sex, except to idolise personalities like Kathy Griffin, Janet Jackson, and Katey Segal. He’s clearly gay, and he had excepted that, but now he’s doing a complete 180 and convinced himself otherwise. He seems to have forgotten that he told me about his trouble with women and has now hanged his story to he liked them all along. But there’s no denying his sexuality.

I understand that he wants a family, and that it’s difficult for gay couples to have what’s considered ‘normalcy’, but I can’t help but feel that he will lock himself into a loveless marriage which will end up hurting himself, his wide and his kids. I really don’t think he’ll be happy and that worries me so much, I can’t imagine a life where you deny who and what you are. He’s a good person, just self-delusional.

I don’t know what I should do. Should I stay out of it. When push comes to shove, it really is none of my business. Or should I confront him, remind him about how he used to talk and try and convince him that living a lie will do more harm than good.

Thanks in advance for any advice you can give,

Jake

How should Jake handle this situation with his friends, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section.
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