Whether you have a date on Valentines Day or not, we can all agree that flowers are lame, chocolates are fattening, and dinners are expensive. So why not get your special guy a long-lasting goodie from Stockroom’s Valentine’s Sale?
Whether you’re into BDSM, assplay, lube, porn, paddles, pleasure, or pain, there’s something to turn on every heart in Stockroom’s Valentine’s Sale with most items around the $30 range!
One of our favorites is the Do-It-Yourself Glow-in the-Dark Clone-A-Willy Kit. It’s only $35.70 to make a real vibrating, glow-in-the-dark, dildo cast of your own cock! Talk about giving your lover a piece of you that’ll always be there!
Just like us, aussieBum has always got something new brewing in its labs. So if you enjoy seeing guys in aussieBums, wait ’til you see the baskets in their 2010 preview video… and we do mean baskets! There are bulges, butts, and biceps popping out all over the place and it’s only a taste of all the hot things ahead. So don’t spend 2010 wondering what’s coming around the bend. Take a look for yourself and decide just what kind of year it’s gonna be!
Ever heard that insult, “Go fuck yourself?” It might be the best advice you get all year! Sex is definitely better with a friend, but it can rock pretty hard all by yourself, especially if you’re willing to experiment. So whether you’re a top exploring assplay or a bottom looking for a better toy, the Uzi’s #1 with a bullet!
The great thing about the Uzi is that it’s 8.5 x 5 inches, a perfect size for anal explorers and enthusiasts alike. But even better, it has a rotating head to really probe your chute and the added sensation of 5 rotating metal beads that revolve at 2 different speeds, giving your anus pleasures and sensations it’s never had before.
Try it yourself or with a friend! You can’t go wrong. So the next time someone tells you to “Go fuck yourself,” you can invite them to watch or even help out!
They say “It’s always better with a friend,” and they’re right. But why flip a coin to decide which one will top and which one will bottom when you could both try bottoming together?!! The Purple Jelly Double Anal Penetrator makes it so.
Imagine it: you and your beau are kissing and really getting into some oral and jerk-off action. Then, to take things up a notch, you bust out Purple Jelly Double Anal Penetrator and slip it in you both. Now, as both of you gents jerk it, you can push the device deeper into your partner by shoving down on your ass. It goes deeper into you both… and if you want to surprise him, give it a small yank and pop the balls out his pooper (wow!) until you both cum… very hot!
Of Stockroom’s anal arsenal, the Purple Jelly Double Anal Penetrator makes for a better starter rather than a pro-toy for an all out anal assault. But don’t let that stop you from checking out their awesome array of double-headed dildos—you’re sure to find something to double you and your lover’s anal pleasure!
This Valentine’s Day, it doesn’t really matter whether you’re with Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now. And whether you love or hate the Hallmark holiday, we can all agree that it’s best spent humping like rabbits. So surprise your hare-brained lover by slipping into (and out of) a pair of aussieBum’s Valentine’s Day undies. The fun boxer and brief designs will let your lover know just what’s on your mind. And unlike a box of chocolates, they’re easy to unwrap and come in only deliciously fun flavors. Your lover likes hard candy, right? Well try these aussieBum on for size and watch your sweet boy melt.
No wonder Aussies know a lot about pouches, one of their native animals is the kangaroo. So it makes sense that AussieBum’s come out with a new swimsuit that’ll give your pouch a boost.
It may be winter where you are, but summer’s just heating up in Australia and AussieBum’s BoosterJock technology promises to make this your hottest and wettest season yet. The bikini design shows off your body’s natural curves while the cut provides a helpful lift that accentuates your natural shape while providing a perfectly snug fit!
And AussieBum’s got loads more sexy swimwear and underwear in their catalog that’ll show off your natural assets no matter your body type. Dive right into their pouch of goodies and see what your sticky little fingers come up with!
Whether you’ve resolved to have more sex or be more adventurous, Fort Troff’s Neo Porta Sling is the way to go. Slings aren’t just for piggies, they’re also for bears, daddies, otters, tops, bottoms, flip-floppers and all sorts of guys looking for hot fun.
Slings help keep your bottom love-ready by supporting your legs and back. They can reduce the fuss and strain of sex if you’re just getting started. Or if you’re a more experienced fucker, a sling can put you in place for a good, long session.
Most sling sets use inflexible bars with buckles, straps, or a chain-suspension system that requires a lot of free space. But the Neo Porta Sling is portable, light-weight, and machine washable. It’s also comfortable to wear, stretchy for rough use, and best of all affordable.
So try something new this year and slip on a Neo Porta Sling the next time you screw. We promise, your fling with the sling may last well past spring!
Most guys we know partake in the ritual pre-bed wank we like to call “the Stroke of Midnight.” You’ve probably been masturbating since high school, so maybe jerking off has lost some of its mystery. Remember the sensations, curiosity, and wonder that used to accompany bopping your balogney? Now you can relive that with Gun Oil’s Stroke 29 masturbation cream.
Tops and bottoms alike already appreciate Gun Oil for its long-lasting lubrication, but Stroke 29 takes whacking to a whole new level. Just apply a creamy dab to your cock and count the strokes. By the 29th stroke, you’ll notice a difference in the heat, glide, and sensation. Not since high school has jerking off felt so intense!
Jerking off is already good for your prostate, but the skin-beneficial almond and coconut oils, aloe vera and vitamin E will make jerking off with Stroke 29 also good for your hands. Plus, the thick cream is fragrance and irritant-free and since it’s from Gun Oil, there’s no need to reapply—just a dab will do ya.
So what are you waiting for? Make jerking off a whole new experience again. It’s just one of a bazillion great sexual aids you can find on Stockroom.com.
It’s a new year, but are you prepared? Sure, you’ve got the skills, the man, and the moves, but have you got the supplies? Lucky for you, Stockroom’s having a New Year’s sale with everything you need from floggers and portable enemas to dildos and nipple clamps.
This New Year’s let’s all resolve to improve our sex lives. Whether you want to become an amazing top or a more sensuous bottom, get your butt prepared with some of Stockroom’s inexpensive supplies. How about a red butt plug to get your ass loose, an Astroglide 3-pack to lube up your manslammer, and some insertable lube shooters to stay slippery inside and out?
We’re excited about all the sex we’ll be having. So let Stockroom’s New Year’s sale help you have a great time with no ifs, ands, or buts.
A member of Team Orange recently hooked up with a hot hipster who had a 7.5 x 5 inch dick. Though the hipster usually bottoms, he turned the tables and fucked our guy instead—it was some of the best sex he’d had all year. Resting in the afterglow, he asked our guy if he ever fingered himself while jerking-off. Admittedly, we tend to focus solely on our dicks, but right then and there he had him slip a finger inside his ass to find the prostate—the male G-spot—and once he found it… he experienced a wonderful sensation he’d only felt during sex.
We’ve already told you about the intense orgasmic pleasures of anal orgasm achievable with sex toys like the Aneros, but now Fort Troff features two other awesome ways to stimulate your prostate to a stunning climax—the Prostate Pounder and the Milker!
The Prostate Pounder ($29.90) is shaped to hit your male G-spot with a 4-inch head and 5-inch base. Its 5 vibration speeds provide constant prostate stimulation and its design lets you easily adjust it alone or with a partner. Or if you want intense pleasure for under $20, check out the Milker. Its shape stimulates your G-spot and perineum simultaneously, and like the Pounder, it also has 4-inches of insertable, vibrating goodness.
So if you’ve never had an anal orgasm or played much with your prostate, start 2010 off with a bang and open yourself up to a world of intense sensation and pleasure!
Your secret Santa works so hard year round just to bring a smile to your naughty little face. So this year, why not give Santa a gift he can really feel with one of Stockroom’s vibrating goodies. They’re all inexpensive and innovative. Take the Fukuoku Five Finger Massage Glove, for instance—it has a variable speed setting that feels great wether you’re giving a massage or full-body rubdown—and it’s only $54!
Or if you’re looking for other things to put on your naughty list, check out this terrific trio—the Oro Stimulator imitates the gentle sucking sensation of a blowjob and there’s a vibrating model for that “real oral” feel. Want some anal pleasure? Try the Vibrating Silver Bullet, a two-inch egg you can slip in your ass and set at different speeds. Or you can have St. Nick put the Adonis Pouch on his prick! It’s a cock ring that also massages the balls while making his cock vibrate. And since each of these costs less than $20 each, they make the perfect stuffing for your lover’s stocking.
This holiday season maybe you’re hoping for a real sex machine—the kind of guy who’ll deliver a long hard fucking that makes your ass beg for more! Well now you don’t have to wait for meet a man of steel to enjoy non-stop plowing! Just plug in the Fuck Saw or the Star Fuck Machine and get ready for a bumpy sleigh ride.
The Star Fuck Machine has 8 speeds (between 1.4 and 8.2 strokes per second) and provides a handle so you can enjoy the veiny six-inch dildo going in and out of your reindeer stable. Or if you have a partner, grab the Fuck Saw and go between 0 to 2,300 strokes per minute with a thick seven-inch dong—whoa! There won’t be a silent night in your house for some time.
There’s only one week left before XXX-Mas so from now until the 25th, QC’s gonna recommend some of Stockroom’s best holiday goodies for your friends and fuckbuds alike (like the Dress Me Aaron magnet set, the chrome-plated teardrop cockring, and the Rude Boy prostate stimulators). And on top of those great gifts, Stockroom’s also having a holiday sale with plenty more to stuff your stockings! And if you order by today, your order will arrive by December 25th! So don’t delay… Santa wants you to get naughty right away!
If you don’t sweep out your chimney regularly before Santa slides down it, the holidays may be the perfect time to do a little “winter cleaning.” But while women have all sorts of powders, sprays, and creams to keep their piddle-paddles smelling Meadow Fresh, us men don’t have that luxury. We use the same hole for lovemaking and lunch. And since it’s best not to shit where you eat, one should keep their backsides nice and clean.
That’s why Fort Troff brings you the StreemMaster, an anal douche that clips to any shower head in seconds and allows a safe flow of cleansing water into your bum. It comes with a 6-foot hose, an easy control for adjusting the flow, and is lightweight, strong, and completely portable. No one likes a stinky butt, so it’s best to present a nice clean gift, once you’ve been unwrapped for the taking. Do you holiday cleaning early, make sure Rudolph and the other reindeers have left the stables, and give Santa a nice clean cookie so he can enjoy his milk with relish!
Grab the mistletoe, doublecheck your naughty list, and get ready for a cum-White Christmas, a cocktastic Kwanzaa, and a Channukah filled with MENorah! Stockroom’s SeXmas Sale has got lots of great stocking stuffers and gifts so you can have a hot winter holiday.
Dirty foreplay dice, FleshJacks, leg shackles, a leather face mask and strap-on dildo will help you really stuff some stockings and deep-deck some halls with boughs and boughs and boughs of holly—talk about a Yule Log!
Plus, Stockroom has categorized everything by price, so whether you’re buying for your grandpa, best buds, or the next guy you see, you’ll have plenty to give and lots coming back to you this holiday season! And one last thing, readers: We understand the glass butt toy, the latex fundies, and leather sling above… but what’s up with the $25 – $50 fox tail coming out of that lady’s ass? Can someone explain? Animal lovers? Anyone?
Did you know that in Spanish the word for “handcuffs” is the same word for “spouse”? It’s true, which just goes to show that sometimes you want your lover to put his hands all over you and others you want him to keep his hands-off! What better way to send a strict yet loving message to your beau than with a pair of high-quality police issue, silver-colored handcuffs?
These double-locking handcuffs (available in both silver and black and on sale for just $15) only come with two keys—one for you and another one for you. Just lay your lover back and handcuff him to the bed. Then you can either pleasure him to new heights of bondage ecstasy or leave him to rot while you watch the Golden Girls marathon—either way, he’ll know who’s in charge.
And if you’re needing some inspiration, check out these past QC posts that all involve handcuffs. Within moments you’ll make your lover your prisoner and you’ll become the warden of their heart—but we hope they’re ready for some hard time in the hole… love can be a bitch sometimes.
