Ask QC: My New Boyfriend Won’t Sleep With Me!

Dear QC,

I have a problem in that after 2 1/2 months of dating the guy I’m seeing, he will kiss me and hold my hand but nothing further. We met online and got to know each other regularly for a couple months before we physically met, although we both had our face pics out there so there was no mystery in terms of what we looked like. Our first date went great and we spent hours walking on the boardwalk talking, on the second date we had a fair amount of heavy petting at a sports party he was hosting at his place.

With the second date still in my mind I thought the “3rd date rule” could be safely applied and after we went to see a play, I flirted because I wanted to be more intimate with him. But he backed out from that yet still kissed me goodnight. I really like this guy so I modified my approach on future dates and accepted his at times holding hands and kissing only rule, but now after 2 1/2 months I’m starting to wonder if his not seeming to want sex is indicative that there is a problem in our budding relationship. Also, on the second date I used his bathroom and saw that he takes an antidepressant and I’ve heard that sometimes that might both affect a man’s want for sex as well as potential erectile dysfunction.

So here’s my question for advice: What can be the best way that I can bring up this rather potentially sticky subject up for conversation? If it’s an issue of a medication affecting him physically, I can both accept and work with that. But I feel I also have the right to know if he’s truly sexually attracted to me in any way, and if he’s not attracted to me at all, even despite a potential physical issue, then he is more friend material than boyfriend material, right? How can I broach this without potentially offending him? I have hope that this guy might be husband material someday, but these issues I feel need to be ironed out before we go further. Help!

Thanks

Jason

What do you think QC readers? Is this a red flag that Jason’s new beau may not be all that? Or could his reluctance to get physical mean something else? And how can Jason bring it up without embarrassing or offending his prudish paramour? Please feel free to share your advice and experiences in the comments section!
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