Str8cam Jeff Married?!? O RLY?!!

You know how happy we usually get when pornstars wed. That’s because gay porn marriages are like a kick in the balls to bigoted conservatives. But when straight pornstars marry, oooh! Girl, we get out our claws! While putting together a post on the latest Str8cam update, we discovered our beloved Jeff wearing a wedding ring. We’re so happy for you, Jeff. Who is the lucky bitch? Does she know that YOU BELONG TO US?!? Oh no?
Well does she know about your infamous “Wife Beater” show? She might be interested in how “extra hard” you’re gonna beat her. Or how about your “Baby Oil” show? We’re not saying you’re gonna make a bad father by whoring out your baby on Str8cam, but you might make a better mom. For one, you have awesome tits and a great manpussy. For two, any guy who constantly puts “str8” in front of his name, probably isn’t. It’s like all those “str8” guys on Craigslist we’re always blowing in elementary school bathrooms.
Oh Jeff, DON’T LEAVE US!!! Of course, maybe this is just another one of your theme shows, like when you dressed up as Santa, and your “wife” doesn’t even really exist. Or maybe you live in Iowa and are married to a dude, in which case, bring that bitch on Str8cam for some wife beating, baby oil fun.
Sigh… oh well. We can always relive your bachelor days at your QC Fan Club page. In the meanwhile, we’re gonna toast you and your beloved with a bottle of whiskey and jerk off with our tears.