Ask QC: How Do I Start An Open Relationship?
Ask QC,
How the hell do I get into an open relationship? I’m a decent guy but the few times I’ve placed a personal ad saying I’d like an open relationship, the guys who respond act like sleazeballs right off the bat talking about how we can immediately cruise for cock. I don’t want a fuckbud who likes threesomes, I want a fucking boyfriend, a partner who’s OK with the idea of us occasionally fooling around with other guys, together or separately. I’ve tried dating guys and getting to know them before asking the question, but the reaction’s never good. They’re either all like “What? I’m not enough?” or “If you really want that, why are you looking for a relationship?”
Me and my ideal partner would get to know and trust each other and lay ground rules before opening it up. But when am I supposed to bring this up? Bring it up too soon, and I come off like a cock-hound. Bring it up too late, and I ruin things with a guy I like. I hate that. It just seems like it shouldn’t be a big deal. I’m a warm, devoted loving guy who’d be a good boyfriend, I just feel like I won’t be happy unless I’m in an open-relationship… I’m just trying to be honest up front.
Is anyone out there in a good open relationship? I’ve seen some open relationships where one partner’s not into it and the other guy feels guilty for getting side action more than the other guy. I’ve also seen an open relationship where the guys aren’t even really into each other anymore; they’re just like roommates who’re comfortable with each other and using their place as a bachelor pad. I’m confident I could make it work, but how’re you supposed to find a guy who’s into it? I could really use any advice you have.
Looks like he’s in a bind, but how can he find what he’s looking for? When and how are the best ways for him to bring it up? And how can he best establish the importance of finding a good partner before introducing others. Sounds potentially complicated, but maybe it’s easier than he thinks. Do we have any open relationship folks out there who can give him a hand? Please share any advice and experiences that might help in the comments section.
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