Ask QC: He Lied About The Condom!

Dear QC,

I live in New York City and wanted to share my experience because I think it represents a scary new trend of barebacking here. met a sexy guy at a bar, brought him home and we had sex. He was a doctor, he said and after an hour of fooling around, I let him top me.

I saw him unwrap and slide on the condom, except that when he pulled out to change positions, I noticed that the condom had ripped along his shaft. He would have put it back in me had I not stopped him. I asked him how long it had been ripped and he just shrugged, asked what the big deal was, and told me not to be afraid of barebacking. We got into an argument about it and I kicked him out. I haven’t seen him since.

I spent an arm and a leg on the 72-hour retrovirals to prevent HIV (my insurance didn’t cover it, so I had to get a loan from a friend). I feel like I’ve been tricked and even a little raped. So I’m wondering if anyone’s gone through the same thing and if I have any legal recourse other than bad-mouthing this asshole.

I’m not saying that all barebackers are evil liars or anything, but I just don’t understand why a guy would try to force me into that. Now I’m worried that someone else will try and I don’t know what I should do. Please help and please be safe.

Talk about a nightmare! We’re all for barebacking as long as it’s informed and consensual, but it sounds like our advice-seeker went through a pretty traumatic experience. Have any of you gone through this? Can anyone explain why the dishonest did what he did? And what should our advice-seeker do next to get some closure? Please share your advice and experiences in the QComments.
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