So, I’ve been watching different porn this week. Yep. That’s me…always mixing it up. Let’s hope you like. It’s time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!
Straight Hell: Charlton(4) RATING OF 4 – FULLY ERECT
So normally, I’m not so into the Straight Hell website. I know that it’s fake and the guys are willing participants in the whole thing; if not, well, then all these people would be in jail.
Still usually scenes from the sight are just a bit too rapey for me. That’s right, I used the word “rapey.”
HOWEVER, there are exceptions to the rules and Charlton is one of them. This guy is ridiculously hot and thank goodness he’s not the best actor. When he’s being pounded you can TOTALLY tell that he loves getting fucked deep in the ass. He’s trying to scream and all that, but he can’t help but let his eyes roll up in the back of his head. PATA PATA!
Joey Pastorek, Thomas Divila and Jarek Soldan are walking along a country path on a sunny summer day, looking hot in black tank tops and army fatigues. The horned-up trio gives directions to a fellow soldier (tall, ripped Jakub Kostas), who then continues on his way. The three guys stop in a clearing, strip each other naked and start stroking each other’s raging hardons. As Jarek wolfs down his buddies’ thick uncut cocks, Jakub reappears out of the woods, stroking his dick while watching the unfolding scene. He blows his load in the grass and beats a hasty retreat, moving on to continue his stroll. Thomas and Joey take turns licking and swallowing Soldan’s shaft, then Thomas goes it alone on the other two guys until they paste his thick pecs with jizz and he pumps his own sticky cum into the grass.
What did She Who Must Not Be Named do to our beloved piss pup Zack Randall? Rumors abound that they’vebrokenup, but now the 2009 Freshman of the Year Zack has become fresh meat for the queer (namely, a room full of 100 crazy screaming women on Dancing Bear and Bang Bros.
Dancing Bear is like giving the undersexed all-female audience of The View lots of alcohol and cocaine and setting them loose in an X-rated strip club. There’s chubby breasts, panty hose torn apart from aggressive box rubbing, and saliva-slash-cum foaming from the mouths of these rabid cum-hungry whores. The estrogen literally flies off the screen and forces you to lick its cooch.
Bang Bros on the other hand is a more demure and understated website for lonely ladies looking to make the acquaintance of a nice gentleman. In their latest installment, brunette flooze Angelica Lane waits for her partner in “a tug job scene,” but when the stud doesn’t show (can’t imagine why), she blows some dude by the vending machine [QC: who just happens to be Zack Randall].
We’re not so hung up on the straight-for-pay thing. After all, we’ve enjoyed watching Zack Randall drink his own piss and he’s identified as bisexual before, so his getting blown by women is hardly amaing. But even still, why is he on straight sites only now? Have Zack’s gay porn opportunities dried up? Hasn’t he ever heard of escorting? Did What’s-Her-Name leave some sort of weird Nepali curse on our beloved? Why, God, WHY?!!!
Oh Zack, take your cock out of those strange women’s mouths and put it in ours!
Thanks to Just Us Boys for the pics.
Shane Stratten is one fine specimen of manhood. He starts the scene off soaping his perfect body in the shower, making sure to rub himself smoothly and slowly all over – paying extra attention to his cock and ass. It isn’t long before his big beautiful dick is hard and he’s jerking it as water drips down his ripped body. While he’s working his fat cock he turns around to show off his muscley ass for the camera, teasing us as he spreads his cheeks, before sitting down so he can really jack that dick of his until he shoots a huge load of hot white cum all over himself.
Sitting back and watching his shirtless buds getting into their video games, hung and horny Mario Costa can’t wait for his turn to play. Only he isn’t thinking about playing video games. He’d rather play with his big fat cock. Damon Audigier gets a glimpse of Mario playing with his big meaty cock and finds he can’t look away from the 11 incher! A flirty game of stroking and teasing becomes an invitation to sneak away from the game room to the bedroom where the real fun and games get underway.
Fox comes out of his trousers with semi wood and the Major is clearly excited. He focuses in on Fox’s weapon as he gets it locked and loaded. Fox works it over good and has it standing at full attention in no time flat. Fox moves over in front of a long mirror and strips off the rest of his cammies as Major Wood gets him to strike a few poses. Fox is a natural show off and he’s loving the attention. We get some nice glimpses of that beautiful ass in the mirror and it’s back to stroking it again.
Shhh! We just got a sneak peek at an upcoming scene on Cocksure Men that we had to share right away with you guys—it’s Leo Giamani getting fucked by Bo Dean! Both guys were discovered by Jake Cruise (You’ve gotta admit the guy has great taste in finding amazing men). We’ve always thought these two would be fucking incredibly together and our dream has come true. Stay tuned… the update is supposed to go up on Cocksure Men next week.
A flaming theater queen in college once told us, “If I could make a copy of myself so we could fuck, I would—it’d be good too.” Silly faggot, we thought, that’s impossible! Well joke’s on us cuz it’s not. Now you can sit on a dick just like yours and you don’t even have to have a twincestual gay brother!
The CLONE-A-WILLY KIT makes it easy. Just mix the molding powder with water, stick your erect cock into the mold for 60 seconds, pour in the liquid rubber, and voila—instant clone-sex!
Plus, it comes with a small battery-component to make your dildo a full-blown vibrator! And there’s no latex and it’s lube-safe so you can stick it wherever you pick it!
But isn’t cloning your own cock just to stick it up your ass vain?” Well of course it’s vain; that’s what being homosexual is all about. Just kidding, but on the contrary, there’s lots of great reasons to clone your cock:
– Something for the boyfriend to enjoy when you’re away.
– A way to settle arguments and impress your friends when they disbelieve your cock size.
– The perfect last minute gift for cock-hungry exes.
And talking about being hungry, the Clone-A-Willy kit even comes in chocolate (or should we call it “cockolate?”). That’s right! Make a milk chocolate replica of your delicious cock—mmmm… delicious!
There’s even a glow-in-the-dark cloning kit so your cock’s easy to find at night. And for you bisexual brothers, there’s even a Pussy Cloning Kit so you can sink a dick while taking one too!
So what are you waiting for? You know you’ve always wondered what it feels like to have sex with yourself. Be like that old theater queen and don’t dream it, BE IT!
Editor’s note: This is AGTL’s SIXTH TO LAST COLUMN! Read about the end of AGITL here. The Strip Tease
By Steve Prince
“I’ll have a water with lemon please,” I asked the waitress at Fred 62’s.
She smiled and nodded. She whisked off like a puff of air to bustling over the Saturday brunch crowd.
It was nice to come to Silverlake. The boys and I rarely made it this “east” of Los Angeles, but we made the trek to see Omar, who had recently moved.
“Where’s Cody?” I asked Alex.
“He’s smoking,” he responded making a face.
We had all wanted Cody to give up cigarettes but we weren’t naggy about it; he would do it when he was ready. Besides he knew we all wished he wouldn’t.
“So,” Omar licked his lips, “Tell me about Domingo. I feel like everyone’s heard about him but me. What’s going on?”
Troy and Alex smiled broadly.
“It’s going,” I paused looking for the words. I finally decided on “fine.”
“Just ‘fine’?” Omar asked.
“What are we talking about?” Cody asked as he sat in the booth.
“Steve’s hooker boyfriend,” Troy said sarcastically.
Muscles! Muscles! Muscles! It’s all about horny muscles in the latest gallery update at Male Strippers Unlimited! Don’t you just love staring at those bulging muscles, rock hard abs, and horny bulges on stage when you out partying at the clubs? It’s the perfect eye-feast and the right party flavor to get anyone in the mood. Check out the website for plenty more flavors and here’s a teaser clip:
