QColumn: A Gay In The Life: Three’s Company

Editor’s note: This is AGTL’s FIFTH TO LAST COLUMN! Read about the end of AGITL here.
Three’s Company
By Steve Prince
There are perks to living in Los Angeles.
I would count the ways, but it really would just take too long and seem cliché. Let me just say this: I’m not a starfucker. Not that there is anything wrong with being one, but I normally don’t get too excited about seeing a celebrity. But there are a few exceptions…
Of course there was that time I saw Angela Lansbury and queened the fuck out. But also on the list of celebs I’d love to see would be Carol Burnett (I think I would just start crying on the spot), Bill Cosby and/or Phylicia Rashad (I always wanted Claire Huxtable to be my mother), and anyone who’s ever been on a gay-themed episode of MTV’s Next (watch the show and you will understand). Oh, and of more recent fame, selected members of RuPaul’s Drag Race (I’m totally on Team Pandora, but I do love me some JuJu).
And finally on the list would be certain sports stars. Yes, that’s not a typo people—bitch said sports stars. Namely tennis stars.
As a boy I never understood others’ fascination with sports. In Oklahoma, boys were encouraged, if not pushed, to be involved in a trinity of athletic activities-football, baseball, and basketball. To me, football meant pain, baseball meant a hurtling ball coming at my face (insert gay joke), and basketball meant running around in a revealing tank-top and bouncing a dirty cummnal ball that made your hands smell funky.
However, my relationship changed when I was twenty-two and I discovered tennis during a summer vacation. Okay let’s be honest, I discovered Fernando, the spa tennis instructor. Yes, I started taking lessons only because I wanted to suck his hot Brazilian cock, but by the end of the week I found myself completely taken over by such a great sport.
So needless to say when I found out that Andre Agassi was doing a benefit book signing appearance in Beverly Hills, I was on that like a cock robin to a dick tree.

“How long have you been here?” a mousy-haired girl with glasses asked me in the Andre meet-n-greet line. We had already been standing for about twenty minutes.
“I got here an hour ago,” I said, “I’m Steve by the way.”
“Jeanne,” she smiled shaking my hand.
Jeanne and I made small talk about our mutual love for all things Andre—his talent, his philanthropy, his nerve and his heart. I think even RuPaul would agree Andre has C.U.N.T. -Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent. During our conversation, I caught soundbites of two men about three people behind me—a tall man with handsome salt-and-pepper hair and another man with dark brown hair. Probably a couple, I thought to myself. And a cute couple at that, but as the line began to snake towards Andre, any thoughts of flirting flitted from my brain.
Finally, there were only three people between me Andre. Andre’s handler, a bald man holding a tennis racquet, and Jeanne. As the bald man stepped forward I gulped hard. Only two people between Andre and me now. My palms had begun sweating profusely, and my stomach swirled like a drain being emptied. I could have shit my pants right there.
The bald man’s head was now flushed red as he walked away. I watched Jeanne approach the table. In one swift motion she took in a breath of air and then practically vomited words to Andre’s ears.
“I’ve been playing tennis since I was four years old and I always thought you were the best, the most inspirational, the most fun, and the most lovable player out there. You’ve inspired me to be a better athlete and a better individual and your work with charities has helped me start me own charity—”
Jeeezus. Girl was on a roll, but still she was saying everything she wanted to say. I hope I could do that without sounding like a blubbering fool. Finally in a whirlwind of words, Jeanne seemed to intake a gulp of air and she walked away. Her grin was from ear to ear and she didn’t stop looking at Andre.
And then the handler looked at me and waved me over.
“Hi,” Andre said flashing a gorgeous grin, “how are you?”
My heart pounded and my knees were literally about to buckle. He just spoke to me. I stared into his beautiful amber eyes. So handsome. Oh wait, he asked me a question. Oh fuck… how do I answer it? What do I say? How am I? I don’t know. Why didn’t I rehearse something? What can I possibly say to one of the greatest legends of tennis of all time?
“YOU’RE GORGEOUS!”
The words splattered out of my mouth before I could stop myself.
“Oh,” Andre said unflinching. Without missing a beat he asked, “I am?” He smiled a precocious smile.
And then… like a mother-fucking dumbass… I repeated myself.
“YOU’RE FLIPPING GORGEOUS, MAN!”
Jeezus.
Now I will say that Andre was all smiles; however his handler politely pushed me away while a book vendor shoved a signed book in my hand. They probably thought I was bat-shit crazy.
After standing for ten minutes and replaying my stupidity in my head, I finally decided to begin walking back to my car.
A voice behind me stopped me in my tracks. “You’re right, y’know?” the voice said.
“Huh?” I said turning to face the voice. A tall man with handsome salt-and-pepper hair smirked at me, behind him stood a guy with dark brown hair. It was the cute couple I had been eavesdropping on in line.
“Andre,” the tall man said, “he is gorgeous.”
“Flippin’ gorgeous, in fact,” the other man echoed.
We all chuckled.
“Thank you for the validation,” I said feeling a bit better. “I’m Steve.”
The tall man introduced himself as Ken and his friend was Parker. I had never met a Ken before; in fact he looked like a Ken doll, but just a bit more mature. Clear skin and a smooth forehead that probably had seen some botox; but he still looked great. Parker looked closer to my age and his long eyelashes accentuated his youthful eyes. They both looked like money.
“I was about to go drown my embarrassment,” I said. “Care to join me for a drink?”
“How about dinner instead?” Ken proposed.
Two and half hours later, I was on my way to Ken and Parker’s place. Needless to say dinner had gone well. They both were attractive, but by the end of it I found myself very attracted to them because they were so nice and open. In fact, they were so open that they invited me to a “nightcap” at their townhouse.
It had been a while since I had been in a threesome, and I was looking forward to it. In my opinion, the only way to do it is with a couple; that way the newbie to the duo feels like pretty fresh meat. Yes, I can be a bit of a narcissist, but it’s nice to be noticed. However, Ken and Parker a different type of couple. They both seemed so independent. They weren’t very affectionate towards one another, but you could tell that there was a strong connection towards one another. They seemed more like friends than lovers. Maybe that’s why an open relationship is helpful to them—it provides the sexual spark?
I stepped out of my car and looked at the townhouse. It looked more like a house to me it was very nice. These boys had money for sure.
“Come in, come in,” Ken said waving me through the front door.
“Want a drink?” Parker asked.
“I’ll just take water.” If I was having a threesome, Momma needed to be on her A-game. I didn’t want whiskey-dick.
“Would you like a tour of the house, or just the bedroom?” Ken asked with a smile.
“I’ve seen enough houses,” I quipped and smiled back.
“You to go ahead,” Parker said. “I’ll gather up the cocktails.”
I followed Ken down a hallway into a large master bedroom. For a large room, the space felt very cozy.
“I like all the pictures of y’all,” I said. My eyes stopped on one in particular. In the frame, Ken and Parker were flanking a beautiful classy woman who looked to be in her sixties.
“Yeah, we like to keep it personal,” Ken said. “It’s more homey that way.”
“Drinks are here,” Parker called as he entered the room.
“Who’s this?” I asked holding up the picture with the beautiful woman.
“Oh,” Ken said with a pause, “that’s our mother.”
“Oh that’s sweet you both call her Mom,” I commented. I always loved it when married families call one another’s parents Mom and Dad. It just seems so inclusive and thoughtful.
“No,” Parker paused. “That’s our mother. We’re brothers.”
He leaned over and kissed Ken sweetly. “That’s okay right?” he asked.
I looked down at my throbbing erection bulging out of my pants.
I gulped. “Uh…yeah. I think were good.”
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A California boy with a Southern heart, Steve Prince finds himself in so many sexual positions it can make your head spin. Thankfully for us he’s willing to share it all…no matter how sordid it gets. Quick to admit when he fucks up, Steve still laughs it all off, and hopes you will too. Also, it should also be noted he is gayer than glitter.
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Previously, on A Gay In The Life:
The Birds and The Birds
Lyin’, & Twinks, & Bears—Oh My!
Going Public
Christmas in July
Luck Be A Lady Tonight
I Left My Heart In Oklahoma
As Luck Would Have It
Shock & Awe
Blame It On Britney
The Unending Journey
Makin’ Copies
Bullets and Bracelets… and Lube
To Tell The Truth…
Stars Aren’t Blind
The Dark Knight
Come As You Are
A Date?
A Happy Ending
Better Than Nothing
A Man With A Slow Hand
Taking The Long Way
Everybody Knows
Wake Me Up, Before Ya Go-Go
Definition
The Best
The Upper Hand
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
2000-Date
Dick The Halls
The Queer Dear
A Night At The Museum
A Conversation
I’m Just A Girl Who Can’t Say No
Change The Way You Feel
Kissing A Fool
Leo The Lamb
The Elephant In The Room
Zuckerman’s Famous Pig
A Birthday Surprise
The Sleepover-er
SP Phone Home
Out of the Frying Pan and into the Closet
What If…
Just Beat It
Intimate Portrait
Intimate Portrait (Part Deux)
Intimate Portrait (Part Trois)
State of Mind
The Age of Disbelief
A Man For All Seasons
Summer Lovin’
A-Men
The Urge
Gettin’ It Done
Here You Cum Again
Eye Of The Beholder
The Present
A Minute’s Pause
Brotherly Love
Ladies Who Lunch
Here Cums The Rain Again
Dinner For Two
Blow by Blow
Commando
Cum As You Are?
Aftershock!
Caught in the Act
The Great Compromise
The Tipping Point
Cross Country
In Stereo
Get Smart
Blind Faith
The Dirty Mexican
A Few Good Men
Peter’s End
Getting Stuffed
The Good Boy
Cracking Up
The Agreement
Fuck Road
A New Resolve
Pre-cumming
Send My Regrets
On A Jet Plane
For The Love of God
Livin’ On A Prayer
It’s My Party
Move On
The Stripper
High-Ho The Glamorous Life
The Flesh Is Willing, But…
The Oldest Profession
Letters

The Return of the Stripper
The Strip Tease