QColumn: A Gay In The Life: The Rub Down

The Rub Down
By Steve Prince
“Come on up,” Troy’s voice crackled through the speakers. The front door to his building buzzed opened. Quickly, I opened the door and ascended the steep stairs to Troy’s place… apartment B for Bottom. Yes, I know Troy classifies himself as “a top only”, but I still liked to give him hell about it.
“Wow,” I said as Troy opened the door, “you look glowing sugar!”
“Well, when don’t I look glowing?” Troy asked suspiciously.
“Well, never,” I said stroking his ego. “But you look like you just got sucked off or somethin’.”
I was only joking but Troy’s reaction proved I might be right.
He paused. “Well, uh…”
“Oh my fuck,” I said tossing aside my hoodie. “You got laid, didn’t you?”
Troy scrunched his lips and cocked his head to the side like an indignant boy. “Maaaaybe?” he sang in a high questioning tone.
“Good for you!” I exclaimed as I punched the side of his arm.
“Really?” he asked, as if surprised.
“Well, yeah,” I responded confused. “Why wouldn’t it—?”

I was interrupted by Troy’s phone. “Come on up,” Troy said answering. He hung up. “What were you going to say?” he asked as he unlocked the door.
“Later,” I said with a wave of my hand. I figured Omar and Alex were on their way up and I didn’t want to begin questioning Troy about why he feels bad about getting laid. Getting laid seemed like a total win-win for me.
“Heyyyyy,” Alex called as Troy opened the door. With wide-open arms, he gave Troy a big hug and soon followed with me.
“I’m here to clean,” Omar said with a wave of his hand as he passed the threshold.
“You are terrible,” I said giving him a hug.
“Good,” Troy said. “This place is a mess.”
“And why is it a mess, Troy?” I said raising my eyebrows.
Okay, let’s take a moment.
I’m not good at keeping secrets; they’re like my kryptonite. Well, what do y’all expect? I’m a thirty-one-year-old gay man who had to keep his sexuality a secret for almost twenty years of his life. Of course I would hate secrets. I mean is it really fair to even expect that of me?
Okay, let’s get honest. I’m just shitty at keeping secrets. It has nothing to do with me being gay, but rather more to do with me being an impatient prick. Also, I talk about everything. There are no boundaries with me, yet I forget others do not have the same feelings I do about privacy. Needless to say that my comment diverted all attention to Troy, and his face began to redden. Normally I wouldn’t think twice about brining up one of the boys’ sex lives; that’s what we talk about all the time. However, something about Troy’s reaction made me wish I hadn’t. His body became fidgety and shy, which is very unlike him.
“Oooooohhh,” Alex’s cooed in his usual singsong way. “Someone blew his load on some young twink!”
Omar smiled broadly; his white perfect smile against his caramel skin. “Details, details,” he prodded while taking a seat on Troy’s couch. “That’s what friends are for, right?”
“Well,” Troy said extending his words, “I might have had sex last night.”
“Real sex or ‘Troy’ sex?” Omar asked. Troy always had “Troy Sex” which is oral sex. It had been years since Troy had actually poked some ass. Yes, I said poked some ass. I’m eight.
“I fucked him,” Troy said quickly and then threw his hands up over his face. I could see he was smiling.
Troy was a good storyteller, and Omar, Alex, and I were a good audience. The three of us reacted dramatically and appropriately to completely make it a bigger deal than it was. Alex high fived him, and Omar stomped his feet. I might have run around the room with my hands in the air and exclaimed repeatedly, “Yeah-uh! You poked some ass!” Might have. Yes, we are thirteen year-old girls, but hey… we never got to act like this when we were actually teenagers. Why not now? Anyway, once we had calmed down we all took a seat as Troy stood in front of us.
“So,” Alex requested, “start from the beginning.”
“A very good place to start,” I sang with my best Julie Andrews’ impersonation.
The boys looked at me.
“Sorry,” I said flatly. “What I meant was, how did you meet?”
Troy’s face looked hesitant. You know that look where you can tell someone is about to lie? Well, that’s the look Troy had; however, his face shifted and in a moment I could tell he decided to tell the truth.
“Craigslist,” he said cautiously. “He was a masseur.”
“Ooooohhh girl,” I exclaimed, “Get chyo rub down!” I expected the same type of celebration as before as I stood up and began running around the room. I yelled two choruses of “Yeah-uh! You poked some masseur ass! You got your rub down!” before I realized I was the only standing this time.
Instead, my elated face turned to see Alex and Omar looking not so elated. Rather Omar looked intrigued but a bit taken aback, and Alex looked just down right disgusted.
“Oh my Gawd,” Alex gasped. “Please tell me you were safe?”
“Well, yeah,” Troy said. I sensed he was surprised by their reaction as well.
“Well,” Alex said, “I hope you didn’t take him to rim town. You never know what he could have had.”
“Did you?” Omar asked.
“Yeah, but we talked about it,” Troy said.
“Oh and you don’t think this guy wouldn’t have lied to you?” Omar said quickly.
“I’m sure Troy worked it out you guys,” I said cautiously. Suddenly I felt protective of Troy.
“Well some stranger isn’t going to tell you the truth,” Omar said. “Why would he?”
“Um, I think he did,” Troy snapped.
“Oh my Gawd!” Alex said.
“Troy, look at you,” Omar said bluntly.
“What?” Troy asked confused.
“Your beautiful,” Omar began, “So many guys would say whatever they wanted to get you into bed. Believe, I know. I’ve been on both sides. You can’t trust people.”
“You guys,” Troy said, his voice rising, “It’s not like I fucked him without a condom. I just loosened him up with my tongue a little bit. It’s fine.”
“Oh my Gawd,” Alex said, under his breath.
“Would you stop saying that?” Troy snapped. He was starting to get angry. “Look, I put up an ad. He responded. He came over and gave me a massage, and we ended up fucking. He was a real nice guy and I had a good time. End of story.”
“Craigslist is just so slutty,” Alex said. “The guys on that site are desperate.”
“Um, Alex, hello,” Troy fired back, “You used to use Craigslist all the time.”
“That was when I was young,” Alex said. I laughed in my head, because that was only about three years ago.
“I’ve never had to use it,” Omar said, with an air of gratitude. He made it sound as if he didn’t have to stoop to such measures.
Not knowing what to say, I went to bathroom to pee. As I was in there I could hear Troy begin to erupt.
Poor Troy. I didn’t agree with the boys, but I think I could guess where they were coming from. I don’t think they meant to sound judgmental, they only wanted to make sure Troy was safe. If only they could say what they meant and be able to take the judgment out of it. Instead, it was coming out all wrong. And honestly, I totally had hooked up on Craigslist before.
I washed my hands about to leave and noticed I left the toilet seat up. I went to put it back down and I thought of my brother; he always left the seat up. And then I thought if he and his friends would be having this argument with his straight friends.
My mind flashed back to memories of hearing he and his buddies talk about conquests they had made. A blowjob here, a hand job there, sex in a pool or sex on the football field. In fact, I remember feeling inadequate because I never could relate to any of those stories. I felt the pressure of having to pursue my own conquests, yet it never happened—at least with girls.
Was I making up for that now? Let’s be honest, I’ve had a lot of sex. In fact, all my friends have. I just assumed that was normal for gay men. Or actually, I just assumed that was normal for men, period. Yet, the Omar and Alex were almost giving him the same treatment a straight woman would get. Instead of high-fives of congrats they were giving him heaps of shame and guilt. For what? Just some casual safe sex with no strings attached. When did casual sex become something bad?
I actually felt proud of Troy. He is thirty-four, but he’s only been out for four years now. That’s not long. I remember when I came out, it took me forever before I could actually have casual sex without feeling like I had done something dirty. In fact, Alex and I have even had that discussion before; how gay men often go through a sexual stage later in life. And then it hit me. Troy’s a private person. Very private. It takes him a while to open up to someone. I wondered if Alex and Omar even knew when Troy had come out. Like me, they probably assumed that it had happened years and years before. They had no idea that this could be a big step in Troy’s own coming out process. Or maybe it wasn’t. Still, it was his process and not theirs.
The yelling was getting louder. Immediately I felt that I had to say something. I needed to change the subject or calm things over… SOMETHING. Panicked, I flung open Troy’s bathroom door and ran into the living room.
“I SLEPT WITH A PROSTITUE!!!” I yelled closing my eyes.
Silence.
Cautiously, I opened my eyes.
Just moments before Alex and Troy were standing yelling at one another, and now they stood motionless. Troy beamed a broad triumphant grin. Omar sat on the bed, mouth agape. Alex, the most still of all, stood beside Troy—a look of horror on his face.
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A California boy with a Southern heart, Steve Prince finds himself in so many sexual positions it can make your head spin. Thankfully for us he’s willing to share it all…no matter how sordid it gets. Quick to admit when he fucks up, Steve still laughs it all off, and hopes you will too. Also, it should also be noted he is gayer than glitter.
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Previously, on A Gay In The Life:
The Birds and The Birds
Lyin’, & Twinks, & Bears—Oh My!
Going Public
Christmas in July
Luck Be A Lady Tonight
I Left My Heart In Oklahoma
As Luck Would Have It
Shock & Awe
Blame It On Britney
The Unending Journey
Makin’ Copies
Bullets and Bracelets… and Lube
To Tell The Truth…
Stars Aren’t Blind
The Dark Knight
Come As You Are
A Date?
A Happy Ending
Better Than Nothing
A Man With A Slow Hand
Taking The Long Way
Everybody Knows
Wake Me Up, Before Ya Go-Go
Definition
The Best
The Upper Hand
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
2000-Date
Dick The Halls
The Queer Dear
A Night At The Museum
A Conversation
I’m Just A Girl Who Can’t Say No
Change The Way You Feel
Kissing A Fool
Leo The Lamb
The Elephant In The Room
Zuckerman’s Famous Pig
A Birthday Surprise
The Sleepover-er
SP Phone Home
Out of the Frying Pan and into the Closet
What If…
Just Beat It
Intimate Portrait
Intimate Portrait (Part Deux)
Intimate Portrait (Part Trois)
State of Mind
The Age of Disbelief
A Man For All Seasons
Summer Lovin’
A-Men
The Urge
Gettin’ It Done
Here You Cum Again
Eye Of The Beholder
The Present
A Minute’s Pause
Brotherly Love
Ladies Who Lunch
Here Cums The Rain Again
Dinner For Two
Blow by Blow
Commando
Cum As You Are?
Aftershock!
Caught in the Act
The Great Compromise
The Tipping Point
Cross Country
In Stereo
Get Smart
Blind Faith
The Dirty Mexican
A Few Good Men
Peter’s End
Getting Stuffed
The Good Boy
Cracking Up
The Agreement
Fuck Road
A New Resolve
Pre-cumming
Send My Regrets
On A Jet Plane
For The Love of God
Livin’ On A Prayer
It’s My Party
Move On
The Stripper
High-Ho The Glamorous Life
The Flesh Is Willing, But…
The Oldest Profession
Letters