QColumn: A Gay In The Life: The Dark Knight

Steve Prince is trying to keep an open mind when it comes to not hooking up. Good thing there’s wine, because it ain’t a-workin’.
The Dark Knight
By Steve Prince
“Come on, Stevie! It will be so much fun!”
Alex was adorable and there was a reason he was a successful attorney—he was very persuasive. He looked up at me with his long eyelashes and clear, bright eyes.
“I dunno,” I mumbled. “I don’t think there will be anyone there I have anything in common with.”
“Noooooooo,” Alex said, his voice rising two octaves. “Look, if you are going to go, there might be other guys just like you who are going too.”
Hmmm. Maybe he had a point. As optimistic as I try to be, sometimes I suspect the worst in things—especially when it comes to meeting guys. For months now, Alex had been trying to get me to go to this Southern California networking thing for GLBT professionals. I mean, it seemed so corny. Wasn’t this just another way just to hook up with guys? Why go through the trouble of going to a group to get laid, when I could just go out to bar.
“Aaaaand,” Alex added. “There will probably be guys like myself there too. And you love me.”
I grinned. I was starting to crack and Alex knew it. He prodded me with his hand and smiled. “What would Oprah say, Mr. Prince?” he teased. “Expand yourself.” Damn you, Alex! Why was he so convincing in his cute lil’ Columbian accent? And the Oprah card was a low blow. He knew I loved that bitch. He cocked his head and looked at me knowingly.
“Oh alright,” I spat out.
Alex threw his arms up in the air and hugged me. “Yeeeeaaaaahhhh,” he said excitedly.
Alex and I continued our lunch and an hour later we both headed back to our respective offices. I don’t know why I was so down about going to this social thing. Alex was right; maybe there would be guys like me and my friends there. I’m not gonna lie—I was kind of tired of just having sex. I mean, don’t get me wrong… Momma loves some butt sex, but the last time I was actually in a relationship was….
Hmmm, hold on I can remember this. Oh, it was…
Huh? I mean there was that time—wait not really. Well, it was…
*crickets chirping*

So yeah, it had been a looooong time since I was in an actual relationship. By long time, I mean almost eight years. It freaks me out a bit to even say it; it makes me feel like an ugly old spinster. I feel like I should say it an old witch voice. Eight years…eight loooong unloved years.
But I shouldn’t beat myself up, right? Yeah, it had been almost eight years since I had been in a relationship, but to be honest I did a lot of shit for myself in those eight years. And I dated… some. Okay not a lot, but I dated. It’s just, I hadn’t seemed to have found the right guy yet. For every decent guy out there, it seems that there are at least ten crazy boys to get through first. Oh God, am I being too picky? I mean, I don’t believe that there is the one guy out there, but sometimes it did seem a bit disheartening to think about my dating failures. Jeeezus, why do I do this to myself? See people, this is why I don’t think about dating; I become so neurotic. Steve, I told myself, just get the fuck over it and do it.
So two days later, I did. Wednesday night after work, I met Alex right outside of the font entrance of the building. The event was being held at a fancy new condo building in Beverly Hills.
“Wow,” Alex said as we walked in, “This is very posh. I’m impressed.” If Alex is impressed by something than it is impressive; he’s as picky as the day is long and has expensive taste.
He was right, it was very nice. In the lobby there was a sign that read, “SoCal Network Wine Tasting. Take the elevator to the roof.”
Oh, I forgot it was a wine tasting. Well, at least Momma could get a buzz.
We both got into the mirrored elevator. As the doors shut, we immediately coiffed any hairs out of place and checked our teeth. Alex looked good. He wore a slimming black button-up shirt tucked in his light grey slacks. I looked at his ass. Bitch. It looked incredible. I looked in the mirror. I looked cute too, if I do say so myself. I was wearing a brown shirt with cream pinstripes and dark jeans with my cute lil’ Prada sport sneakers. Hey, shoes make the man, right?
As the elevators doors opened, Alex and I were greeted by the cool breeze of a California night. I gazed across the scene to take in the view—a gorgeous night in Los Angeles. As I looked across the sky, I could even make out some stars; usually a rarity because of the city’s eternal smog.
Alex and I looked at one another, “Let’s get a drink,” we said in unison.
As we made our way to the wine vendor, I scanned the crowd; there were quite a few people there. It was a mixed crowd of people in their mid-30’s, women and men. The event was held at a building that had just been renovated and was seeking potential buyers. The wine vendors offered free wine and promoted their own selection of wines and cheeses. It was pretty classy I must say and a smart idea.
“So,” Alex said quietly in my ear, “anyone interesting?”
Hmm. Not really. There were some cute guys, but no one jumped out me at the moment. I looked at an older man with brown hair and a strong prominent nose; he looked nice—wait. Oh, game off. A man came up to him and they kissed gingerly on the lips. Dammit, doesn’t he know this is for singles? A handsome guy with dirty blonde hair and freckles passed by me. He was cute… until he smiled. He was actually was missing his front teeth.
All right, keep looking, I told myself. Be open to this. Don’t make judgments so early. You’re just being a lil’ bitchy queen. Alex and I grabbed our free glass of wine and drank greedily. I searched the crowd again like a hawk. My gaze stopped on a tall African-American man. Mmm, mmm. The best word to describe him was just pretty. He was laughing with two other girls. He looked across the crowd. His gaze connected with mine and we both smiled. I started to—
“Alex!” to my right a man with a gravely voice bumped into me and almost made me spill my wine. I turn and glared at him incredulously.
“Oh,” he said looking at me flippantly, “sorry dear. My bad.” He turned back to Alex. “How are you, you handsome man?”
The stench of overused cologne wafted towards me. I was not a fan of this man whoever he was. I hoped to God he didn’t stay and talk to Alex long.
For an instant, Alex glared at me before looking up at the intruder and then smiling with falseness that only I could detect. “Gary,” he replied, “So good to see you. How’s the firm?” Oh great, attorney talk. I just left work and now I was going to be subjected to talk of mergers, arguments and rulings for the night? This party sucked ass&mdash’and not in a good way.
I turned to look for the handsome black man. He was gone. I scanned around looking for him or even the two girls he’d been talking to. Nothing. Okay, now this party really sucked ass.
So being a good friend, I stood there with Alex and listened to this boring Gary person talk about what an amazing job he was doing in his work. Alex knew him from a bar prepatory course they both took years ago. This guy’s head was growing so quickly, I thought he might float off the roof. I didn’t think there would be any way out of this until another man walked up beside him. He was an attractive white guy, probably in his late 30’s. His chiseled face was nicely set with piercing grey eyes. He had short chestnut hair and as he walked up to us, he smiled—revealing two adorable dimples. I noticed that his gaze seemed to linger longer on Alex.
“Alex,” Gary said, wobbling on the spot and almost spilling his wine, “You have to meet one of my new associates. This is Craig.” Gary looked at me. “And this is…” He looked at me blankly.
“Steve,” I said with a forced smile. Okay, Gary was a tool.
“Oh,” Gary called as a pretty blonde woman walked by, “Charnel! Charnel, darling! Excuse me, dears.”
And as quickly as he came, Gary the cock-blocker was gone. I looked over my shoulder. If I was correct, it seemed Charnel didn’t look any happier to see Gary than Alex and I had been.
For everything Gary wasn’t, Craig was. As Alex and I got to know him, I found him to be quite charming and I could tell Alex did too. He was one of Gary’s new associates and—even though he wouldn’t admit it—you could tell he was a big fan of the Gary. For about five minutes, we three talked about how we all moved to LA. I was finding more and more that Alex and Craig were doing all the talking. I’m not an idiot. I discreetly excused myself to get some more wine.
I walked over to the wine station and decided to go with some froo-froo Merlot made from some wine that cures cancer, or something like that. Truthfully, I could drink wine from a box and be just fine. Again, I’m always a lil’ white trash like that.
“Thank you.” I told the wine concierge and I left the station as she began her spiel to the other passerbys. A breeze blew across the rooftop. It was a bit chilly, but damn it was a beautiful night. I walked over to the edge of the roof and leaned on the railing, sipping my wine thoughtfully. I looked across Los Angeles, glittering gold and orange. The sky was so clear I could see the lights glowing from The Getty Museum. My eyes followed the lights down the cliff until the glimmer was abruptly stopped by the inky blackness of the Pacific. The contrast of the warm lights to the black sea was so stark and something about it made me feel lonely and cold inside.
“Brr,” I said under my breath. It was chilly enough that I actually shuddered.
“Don’t catch a cold now.” I turned to see who was speaking behind me.
I looked up. Standing a foot from me was the cute black man I saw earlier.
“Oh…” I said surprised. I quickly regained myself. “Well, that’s what the wine’s for, right?” I smiled taking a sip.
“For sure” he said toasting and taking a sip as well.
I turned back to look at the view. “I was just admiring the night. It’s such a treat to see the city without the smog. It’s beautiful actually.”
“Hmm”, he said as I turned to look at him. He was leaning on the rail and looking directly at me. “It sure is.”
He smiled and I looked into his dark brown eyes, catching the reflection of the lights of Los Angeles.
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Years after moving from Oklahoma, Steve Prince is still acclimating to the gay scene in Los Angeles-he’s a slow learner. By trial and error and a lot of sex, his mission is to make the uncomfortable, comfortable. Also it should be known that he is gayer than butt sex.
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Previously, on A Gay In The Life:
The Birds and The Birds
Lyin’, & Twinks, & Bears—Oh My!
Going Public
Christmas in July
Luck Be A Lady Tonight
I Left My Heart In Oklahoma
As Luck Would Have It
Shock & Awe
Blame It On Britney
The Unending Journey
Makin’ Copies
Bullets and Bracelets… and Lube
To Tell The Truth…
Stars Aren’t Blind