QColumn: A Gay In The Life – Ladies Who Lunch

The Ladies Who Lunch
By Steve Prince
“Where’s Cody?”
Troy looked at me as is if I’d been struck dumb.
“Really?” Troy raised his eyebrows and looked at his watch.
I looked at my watch. It was one o’clock on the dot. Well. of course Cody wasn’t here; that would make him on time, which isn’t Cody’s way. Not that we were offended by it. It’s just the way Cody is.
Alex gingerly set down his glass of tea. He beamed—the belle of monogamy. He looked as if he had just stepped off a boat docked in Cape Cod, in his navy and cream striped Theory sweater, his mousy brown hair now sun-streaked with ribbons of dark honey. I could only think it had to do with the endless amount of hours he and David spent by the pool or beach. It seemed like every time Troy and I called Alex to do something the answer was the same.
“David and I are hanging out by the pool,” his voice lilting with romanticism. “Come join us!”
And sometimes we would. That was the nice thing about Alex and David; I never felt like a third wheel with them. Although, they both were so blissfully AND annoyingly happy that I sometimes found myself getting a hint jealous.
But things change.
“So, Stevie,” Alex seemed to hear my thoughts, “what’s new with you?”
I wasn’t ready to drop the bomb yet; I wanted to wait for Cody. Yes, I’m dramatic, I’ll admit.
It must have been instilled in me as a child—I yearned to be on television. Feeling unable to be myself anyone around me, I imagined a world of my own creation. I often felt that if my mother TRULY understood me she’d take me to the Nickalodeon Studios and put me on You Can’t Do That On Television or maybe Today’s Special. Surely it wasn’t that hard for gay boy in southern Oklahoma to get on TV… Well, I never got on TV, but the dramatic part stuck.
Not wanting to talk about my new tryst, I deflected Alex’s question. I’m Southern; we’re great at passively-aggressively dodging anything.
“Well,” I sighed, “I don’t think I can say a thing until we hear why you look like a bronzed god sitting right in front of us.”
Alex’s cheeks flushed.
“I assume things are going well between you and David?”
Alex beamed even brighter, if that could be possible.
“We are a-maaazing!” He smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love with a guy so hard. I’m so scared I’m going to fuck it up.”
“People usually do,” Troy interjected and smiled.
“You hush!” I scolded like a mother hen. “Look, sugar, you’re going to be fine. You are already fine, in fact.”
“It’s true,” Troy added waving his finger between us, “we’ve put in too much work on you. David should give us a finder’s fee.”
Cody sauntered in the diner as the three of us laughed heartily.
“Hey, hey,” he plopped down in the booth beside me.
“What did I miss?” he asked taking a sip of my Diet Coke.
“Stevie, avoiding a question,” Troy accused me.
Everyone looked at me.
“What do you mean?” I asked trying to sound as incredulous as possible. I swear I’m so dramatic sometimes that even Tyne Daly would tell me to tone it down.
“Oh, come on,” Troy said putting down his fork. “Something is going on with you.” He studied my face intently and he waved his index finger in front of my eyes, “I can tell.”
“Well?”
Fuck. How should I start? I mean I couldn’t just say that I finally fucked around with my high school crush who had never came out of the closet but still fucked the hell out of me with his huge cock… or could I?

“I might be seeing someone,” I said chastely.
As soon as I said it, I realized this is not what they had expected.
Alex pounced, “Oh my GAWD! Who? Who?!!” he begged. “Oh, I know!” He snapped his fingers. “You finally found that hot black man you’ve been waiting for to fuck you.”
“No.” I said calmly.
“Oh,” Cody jumped in his seat. “Last time we went out, you were craving Latin cock. He’s hot and Latin isn’t he?”
They all began to smile.
“Nope.” I loved this game.
Feeling it was his turn Troy made a suggestion, “Some obese, old, and hairy guy.”
The build scratched like the needle off a record. We all glared at him.
“Ooooh-kay,” Alex began. “What the fuck are you talking about, Troy?”
“Well,” Troy sighed as if explaining the obvious. “Stevie always goes for the fat, old type. What do you call them? Oh yeah, ‘soft in the middle.'”
Cody turned to me, “You do?”
“No!” I put both of my hands on the table. “I mean,” I backtracked, “I don’t have anything against that, but,” I paused, “by ‘soft in the middle’ I mean just that. I don’t think hard eight-packed stomachs are the ultimate end-all-be-all.” I looked at Troy. “You call them ‘fat and old’ because they are not your type—20 years old with a size 26 waist and bangs in their face.”
Troy looked up, “Ah, my Zacky boy. When will he come to me?”
Alex searched my face once again, “Well who is it, Steve?”
I paused, for dramatic effect, of course.
“Peter.”
It took a moment to set in. Alex was the first to catch on.
“Oh my GAWD!” his voice rose to an almost full-fledged yell. “You mean Peter from high school?” he bounced in the booth. “Peter from your 30th birthday party?”
“Yep. That Peter.”
“The one who got you drunk and then jacked of in the bed beside you in the middle of the night?” Cody chimed in.
“Yep.”
I told them what had happened. When I had finished, Alex and Cody’s mouths gaped wide open, while Troy seemed wrapped in thought.
“So what are you going to do?” Alex asked.
“I don’t know.” I hadn’t really thought of that.
“Well, are you dating one another exclusively or just fucking?” Cody asked.
“I don’t think… I don’t know.” We really hadn’t talked about that. I then realized we hadn’t actually talked about anything. It had been almost a week since Peter and I first hooked up; we’d been together ever since in my mind, yet we never actually talked about our status. Honestly, I didn’t know how to approach that with him. I mean, he just came out…well, kinda. Huh… had he come out at all, actually?
“Be careful, Steve,” Troy warned.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“This guy is barely out—or whatever he is,” Troy said waving his hands in front of him, “You have no idea of where he’s at… and that might not end up with you.”
“Heyyy…” I said hurt.
“You know what I mean,” Troy nodded. “Just be careful and don’t get fucked over.”
“What do you want?” Alex asked.
Again, I gracefully dodged the question and filled the guys in on the details of the night, which they ate up—even Troy. Their reactions were exactly what I hoped they would be.
“Call me tomorrow,” Cody said as he crossed the street with a wave. We all were going our separate ways; Alex and Troy had already said their goodbyes and walked to their respective cars. As I walked to my car, I took my phone from my pocket.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” Peter cooed, “where are you?”
“In West Hollywood.” God even his voice turned me on.
“Come over,” he said not missing a beat. “I’ve been thinking about you today.”
“Well, aren’t you thoughtful?” I said.
“Nah,” Peter answered. “I’m just horny as fuck. See ya soon?”
“Sure,” I answered.
What were Peter and I? I really didn’t know. Should I?
“Ah, don’t over-think things, Steve,” I said to myself aloud. And with that, I got in my care and drove into the brilliantly light afternoon, to see him.
————————————-
Years after moving from Oklahoma, Steve Prince is still acclimating to the gay scene in Los Angeles—he’s a slow learner. By trial and error and a lot of sex, his mission is to make the uncomfortable, comfortable. Also it should be known that he is gayer than butt sex.
————————————-
Previously, on A Gay In The Life:
The Birds and The Birds
Lyin’, & Twinks, & Bears—Oh My!
Going Public
Christmas in July
Luck Be A Lady Tonight
I Left My Heart In Oklahoma
As Luck Would Have It
Shock & Awe
Blame It On Britney
The Unending Journey
Makin’ Copies
Bullets and Bracelets… and Lube
To Tell The Truth…
Stars Aren’t Blind
The Dark Knight
Come As You Are
A Date?
A Happy Ending
Better Than Nothing
A Man With A Slow Hand
Taking The Long Way
Everybody Knows
Wake Me Up, Before Ya Go-Go
Definition
The Best
The Upper Hand
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
2000-Date
Dick The Halls
The Queer Dear
A Night At The Museum
A Conversation
I’m Just A Girl Who Can’t Say No
Change The Way You Feel
Kissing A Fool
Leo The Lamb
The Elephant In The Room
Zuckerman’s Famous Pig
A Birthday Surprise
The Sleepover-er
SP Phone Home
Out of the Frying Pan and into the Closet
What If…
Just Beat It
Intimate Portrait
Intimate Portrait (Part Deux)
Intimate Portrait (Part Trois)
State of Mind
The Age of Disbelief
A Man For All Seasons
Summer Lovin’
A-Men
The Urge
Gettin’ It Done
Here You Cum Again
Eye Of The Beholder
The Present
A Minute’s Pause
Brotherly Love