QColumn: A Gay In The Life: A Happy Ending

Steve Prince met Mason in The Dark Knight and questioned his intentions in A Date? Now Steve finally gets to the “bottom” of this whole Marlon situation.
A Happy Ending
By Steve Prince
I’m not accustomed to change. I’m not opposed to it, but when you’ve been single for as long as I have, one gets used to their own routine. Hence, I was trying this dating thing, I really was, but not without difficulty. Why was being open and talkative during a date scarier than hooking up with a guy at a bar? Opening up my thoughts to possibly being interested in someone felt like an intrusion on my already hectic schedule. My life was full already; did I really need anyone else in it? Oh god, I’m such a mess.
Ironically, as all my neurotic thoughts raced through my head I found myself at a loss for words. The date with Marlon was so confusing because I had no idea where it was going. All right, maybe I have some control issues too. Maybe…
Still, what was supposed to be a date of wine tasting had become a cheap drink at a dive tiki bar in North Hollywood. Was this night out with a handsome man I thought I wanted to date now going to be just a fuck?
I just didn’t get it, and my pessimistic thoughts about dating began to seep in my head like water under a doorway.
Be open to the experience. Don’t be so judgmental.
I kept repeating Alex’s advice over and over in my head. No Steve! Alex’s words echoed in my temples. If I talked myself out of this, he would kill me, and for good reason. I could hear Alex say “Everyone has doubts, just be positive. Give Seal a chance. Remember, you are his Heidi Klum!” I am only grateful that I know Alex bolsters my ego, not because he wants me to fail, but because he knows I am capable of doing it.
I lazily twirled my straw in my Mai Tai and smiled at the chubby girl in the booth across from me. She was sitting alone and I think she thought I was alone too. She smiled back appreciatively. I was waiting for Marlon to get back from the bathroom, but she looked like she was just waiting. She looked bored, but then I realized that I probably looked half-conscious as well. I had to look awful, my elbow propped on the table, chin resting on my palm. Boy, I must be a real fun date.
If you want the truth, I wasn’t bored. I was indifferent. I thought I had made a concentrated effort to be clear with Marlon. If you looked at my dating past, you’d see that I usually put too much preference on what the other person thought of me rather than what I thought of him. This time, I wouldn’t let myself think that, and I thought that I made it perfectly clear that I was interested in Marlon. I didn’t want to play games, so I decided directness was best.
But what do you say when someone says, “Hopefully, we’ll be leaving here soon,” while he brushes your thigh? I decided to wait on Marlon’s next move.

“Are you nursing that drink, boy?” he said with a smile as he slid into the booth.
“I told you it was strong.” I replied, “Want a sip?”
“Nah,” he said.
As if on cue, the cocktail waitress approached our booth. “Y’all need anything else?”
“Sure” Marlon said, “I’ll have another.” He turned to me. “You want another one?”
“Nah,” I said sipping, “still working on this one.”
So, can we say confused. First Marlon wanted to hurry and finish our drinks so we can leave and now he’s ordering another one. Jeezus. Alex face swam into my head. Just go with the flow. Don’t over think things Steve.
“All right,” he said with a smirk. Goddamn, he had a cute smirk. “Now what are you studying again in school?”
“Psychology,” I responded.
“Oh wow,” Marlon said licking his lips—his beautiful, bountiful, bee-stung lips. “So are you going to try and figure me out?”
Ha! If he had any idea of how, I would love to hear it. I held my tongue and talked a bit more about school, but our conversation soon ventured to our families.
And then the date (if this was an actual date) began to change. The conversation seemed to stop skimming the surface as it began to dive deeper. On some dates, it seemed that as I talk, the other guy just thinks of what he’s going to say next. With Marlon, I felt he was really listening to what I had to say, that he actually gave a shit.
As 10:30 turned to 11:30, Marlon and I talked about how odd it can feel to live in Los Angeles. As much as we both loved this city, it still did not have some of the comforts of home. We talked about some things in our past and what we would have done differently. We also spoke about events and promises we had for the future.
Marlon placed his hand on mine. “I love talking with you,” he said warmly. “I knew you were something different to those I’ve been meeting before.” His hands were soft and very big.
As 11:30 turned into midnight, Marlon and I talked about all things jazz. And we didn’t just discuss what music we liked, we talked about why we loved certain music; how it made us feel, and what it made us want.
I’d just finished passionately describing one of my favorite jazz singers, Kurt Elling, and Marlon stopped me with his gaze.
“What?” I said, looking smugly.
“Mmmm mmm,” he said with that gorgeous crooked grin. “You could get me into trouble Mr. Prince.”
“What do you mean by trouble?” I asked. God, I love flirting. The sexual tension was almost vibrating between both of us it was so intense. This was such a turn around from the way the date began. Maybe that’s why I liked Marlon; I was always surprised.
He looked directly at my lips, “I think you know what trouble I’m talking about.”
It was 12:30 and time to leave. Marlon and I both had to work in the morning. So by this time I decided this was a date. I wasn’t expecting to sleep with him because the signals didn’t seem to lead to that. Yes, there was hardcore flirting, but I was trying to turn over a new leaf. And let’s be honest—I was beginning to see Marlon more than just a hot fuck. I was starting to actually want to know more about him. I wanted to see him again. As we walked out the bar, I decided that I would just kiss him, even though a huge part of me wanted to suck him off. But no, I was going to be a good girl.
“Where are you parked?” he asked.
“Over here,” I said, pointing to my right.
“Oh, I’m this way,” Marlon stated, pointing in the opposite direction. “I’ll walk with ya.”
Eeeeeeee! I almost wanted to giggle. A boy walking me to my car. It had been so long since a guy had actually done something like that for me. Usually, I was lucky if a guy had enough energy to put the condom on instead of making me do it for him. I felt like the Reese Witherspoon character in that movie Pleasantville. Y’know, Reese’s character was really slutty, but in the end she decides to get to know boys before going all the way. I love Reese Witherspoon; she has real pretty hair.
“This is me,” I said pointing to my hybrid.
“I had a good time with you Mr. Prince,” Marlon said softly and with intent.
“Me too,” I said looking up to him.
“We have do this again very soon.” he said stepping towards me. “Can I call you?”
“Of course,” I said in a whisper.
He leaned in and kissed me softly. I kissed him back and soon our arms were wrapped around one another in a full embrace.
After a minute, he pulled back.
“Mmm mmm,” he said looking straight in to my eyes, “trouble.”
This time I kissed him, parting his lips with my tongue. He pressed against me and I could feel him stiffen. After a minute we broke apart, and he wished me good night again, promising to call me soon.
The next day
I, of course, call all my friends and tell them the details.
Two days later
Hmm… Marlon must be busy…
Three days later
He said he would call, right?
Four days later
Don’t call him Steve…
Five days later
Hmmm….
One week later
I was crawling into bed around midnight, when my blackberry goes off. I have a text.
Hey bro, fun times the other night. Let’s hang soon. Take care- Marlon
Take care? Take care?!? “Take care” is a kiss of death in dating. It’s basically like saying, I would prefer to never see you again, but if I do happen to eventually bump into you one day at the grocery store, I hope we can act civil or better yet I hope we can completely ignore one another, because I really don’t have the backbone to see or speak to you. I hope nothing ever bad happens to you, but if one day you do fall off a cliff, I hope I wouldn’t have to know about it because I don’t even want to feel anything for or about you ever again.
WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE! WHAT A GODDAMN LYING SACK OF SHIT!
Deep breaths…
I’m not a needy person. I know this about myself. I’m just emotional, sometimes. I am brutally honest and not a good game player, yes. But I just don’t get why guys completely lie to your face. I am a 29 year-old man. If you’re not that into me, than just fucking tell me. Why go out of your way to say you’re going to do this and that, then just do nothing about it?
I got even more mad at myself for getting so worked up about this. Did I like Marlon? Yes—of course I did. Was I in love with him—no. We just met. But his avoidance of me made me feel like he was too scared to face me because of my reaction. And it seems when one guy fucks you over it brings back all the other times anyone else has fucked you over. And then, like a growing gloom, self doubt crawls its way from my stomach to my brain. And that’s when I realized why I was really so upset. I was scared of not being loveable. Yes it sounds, cheesy, but I can’t deny how I felt. This realization actually made me feel better for some odd reason. Well, at least I found out Marlon was a flake before we got further along.
Trouble… what a crock of shit. Perhaps Marlon was talking about himself. I sighed.
I turned off my bedside lamp and pulled the covers up to my chin. I looked at the empty side of my bed. I guessed some things never change.
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Years after moving from Oklahoma, Steve Prince is still acclimating to the gay scene in Los Angeles—he’s a slow learner. By trial and error and a lot of sex, his mission is to make the uncomfortable, comfortable. Also it should be known that he is gayer than butt sex.
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Previously, on A Gay In The Life:
The Birds and The Birds
Lyin’, & Twinks, & Bears—Oh My!
Going Public
Christmas in July
Luck Be A Lady Tonight
I Left My Heart In Oklahoma
As Luck Would Have It
Shock & Awe
Blame It On Britney
The Unending Journey
Makin’ Copies
Bullets and Bracelets… and Lube
To Tell The Truth…
Stars Aren’t Blind
The Dark Knight
Come As You Are
A Date?