QColumn: A Gay In The Life: A Few Good Men

A Few Good Men
By Steve Prince
“Ah, thanks for calling, Stevie.”
“Of course,” I said. “I just wanted to say thanks for what you do.”
On Veteran’s Day I talked to one of my best friends, Bianca. Bianca and her husband Heath, were both stationed in Washington D.C. as members of the Navy.
I always try and call them on Veteran’s Day, even though they’re still in active duty. A second generation Italian, Bianca looks more like Catherine Zeta-Jones than an aggressive female solider, and her husband Heath is just as good-looking.
“Well, Heath and I appreciate the thought,” Bianca said over the phone. “I wish you were here.”
“I know,” I said thoughtfully, remembering the last time I visited her and Heath.
“When was the last time you saw us?” she asked. “Two years ago?”
Yep, two years ago. And on that Veteran’s Day, I gave my own service to some of the men who serve…

Two years prior…
Bianca and Heath were excited.
“This never happens!” she said. “You’re very lucky, Steve.”
“I am?” I asked.
“Oh yeah,” Heath chimed in. “We never get civilian passes to any of the balls.”
Bianca’s eyes lit up. “We have to rent you a tux!”
“A tux!” I was shocked. “These events are that fancy?” I asked, being the hick from the sticks.
“Oh yeah,” Bianca cooed while getting up to pour another glass of wine. “Don’t worry, we can get you a good deal.”
I didn’t bring anything like that to wear on this trip to D.C.. I’d never expected to be invited to a ball of all things; I felt a little like Cinderella. I mean, who actually goes to “a ball” these days? In high school I went to prom… with a girl—not that exciting.
Two days later, after much scurrying to get all the paperwork through and my background checked, Heath, Bianca and I arrived at the St. Regis hotel dressed to the nines.
It’d been so long since I’d worn a tux that I’d forgotten how different I feel when I get so dressed up… so much more elegant, sophisticated, and much much hornier.
OH GAWD! Was I hard up? It didn’t help that as I walked into St. Regis’ main ballroom, a sea of men greeted us. As I stepped through the entrance, I literally stopped in my tracks. Hundreds, I repeat, hundreds of young men outfitted in uniform dotted the ballroom, most of them with a young woman on their arm.
I caught up to Bianca and leaned forward to whisper in her ear.
“Jesus mother fuckin’ Christ,” I swore.
She smiled. “I think he’s the only guy not here.”
I laughed, nervously—mainly because she was right. It was like a porn come to life. And yes, I know it’s terrible to fetishize men in uniform, but I couldn’t help it. I only had a limited frame of reference, not knowing any servicemen personally. My only experience was Top Gun and DirkYates.com. Sue me.
We sat at our table as Bianca put down her clutch, while Heath went to say hi to some friends.
“Are there any gay ones here?” I asked.
Bianca looked at me like I was an idiot.
“Of course there are,” she said flatly, “but they never talk about it.”
She paused and bit the inside of her mouth. She was thinking.
“You should meet, Jerome,” she finally said.
“Who’s’ that?” I asked, like a child wanting to be told a secret.
“Jerome is one of my friends in the Marine band,” she replied.
“The Marine band?” I asked. Who knew such things existed?
“Well, yeah,” she said, again like I should know better. “The armed forces have to have military personnel to play at all the different functions. Everyone serves in their own way.”
I wanted to interrupt and make a sexual joke about “serving” but I was too enthralled about meeting this Jerome person.
“Anyway,” Bianca leaned in and glanced around, “the guys in the music division are often more open about their sexuality. Some of them even come with their significant others that they call their ‘friend”. No one cares. But because of stupid Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, none of us mention it.” She paused, “Somewhat sad, actually.”
Again, I felt even more naïve. I’d never been personally effected by Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Yet looking around I wondered how many people had to live with that reality. Suddenly all those men in uniform seemed less like fetishes and more like humans; my heart went out to them. I wanted to hug rather than fuck all of them.
That is, until I met Jerome…
It wasn’t but fifteen minutes after Bianca had told me about him that Jerome and his ‘friend’ came over to our table to say hello.
What can I say except that Jerome was a hunk. As he stood in his Marine uniform, I immediately noticed he was taller than me, his broad shoulders and fitted jacket magnified hi v-shaped silhouette. His brown eyes and short black hair only accentuated his beautiful full lips. Damn, most black men have the most amazingly full lips. I just want to kiss them. Jerome was no exception.
“Nice to meet you,” he said, his cool baritone echoing off the dinnerware, a mischievous smile on his face as he looked me up and down. Jerome gestured to the older white man standing by his side, “This is Carl, my boyfriend.”
He said “boyfriend” quietly, yet the way he said it was so confident and self-assured. The fact that he could exhibit such coolness that in this type of social setting made him even more attractive to me.
And of course he had a boyfriend. FUCK MY LIFE! Damn you boyfriends, always getting in my way! With an internal sigh, I began to relax. Well, at least I would have some interesting conversation for the night, I thought.
For a few minutes, the four of us stood chatting and sipping on our cocktails.
“Candace!” Bianca called out, a little too loudly. “Excuse me while I go say hello,” she said, her midnight blue dress slinking behind her. Even though we were all gay, the three of us couldn’t help but admire her beauty as she left.
“So,” Carl said, “first time to D.C.?”
“No,” I said. “I came here once when I was younger on a family trip.”
“Ah,” Jerome said, smiling, “so this is your first adult trip.”
“Yep,” I responded. Was it me or did he put emphasis on the word adult?
“Well, then Jerome,” Carl said, his lips still wet from taking a drink, “we should show Mr. Prince the sights of the town.”
“Oh,” I said, “that would be wonderful! I would love to go out in some more familiar places, but y’all are the first two that I’ve met like me.” I hated talking in gay code, but what else could I do? “Where’s a fun place to go? I love history.”
“Well,” Jerome said thoughtfully, “have you been upstairs?” He pointed upwards.
“No,” I said, wondering what historical landmark would be at the St. Regis. I’m a huge history buff, so finding an unexpected place like this would be amazing. “What’s upstairs?”
“Our room,” Jerome said smiling, while Carl beamed.
Huh? Their room? Upstairs? But what? Huh?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…
Oh my God, these boys want have a threesome! Shit the bed.
My brain began to swim with questions and doubts. It had been so long since I had been in a threesome and to be honest my last one wasn’t that great. Both the guys weren’t really into kissing and they didn’t even know one another that well. The whole thing ended with me getting a facial from a Scotch man with a huge dick and a scared looked Latin guy, who looked fresh out of high school.
I mean a three-way takes communication; you just can’t go into it without talking about things. There should be rules and plans… that way no one feels like the ugly one. Or hell, if you’re not careful you could get an eye poked out. Maybe I’m just too old for this type of thing. The last time I did this was when I was twenty-two and it just seems like there wouldn’t be much benefit now. Would I just feel like a slut afterward and crappy that I can’t get a boyfriend? Yet these boyfriends only wanted to fuck me, not take me home to meet mom.
I can’t do this. I can’t, I thought. I barely know these two guys. Who knew if they even knew what they wanted. And again, it boiled down to communication and if they didn’t know me how were they going to communicate to me, and—
“I would love to watch my hung boyfriend pound the hell out of you, while I watch and you suck my dick,” Carl said directly.
Okay, so that was pretty good communication.
I tipped back my drink for liquid courage.
“Lead the way,” I said with a smile. As the three of us strode out of the room, I could see Bianca leaning on Heath’s arm watching us. She smiled and shook her head.
Now, I know that I may be accused of not telling, but I will say this. That was the best threesome, and some of the hottest sex I ever had in my life. I couldn’t walk for two days afterward, but it was worth it. And not only did I serve my countrymen once that night, but oh no, I fulfilled my duties several times… all night. I was such a good private. I would tell, but whenever I sleep with an officer—I choose to be the gentleman.
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Years after moving from Oklahoma, Steve Prince is still acclimating to the gay scene in Los Angeles—he’s a slow learner. By trial and error and a lot of sex, his mission is to make the uncomfortable, comfortable. Also it should be known that he is gayer than butt sex.
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Previously, on A Gay In The Life:
The Birds and The Birds
Lyin’, & Twinks, & Bears—Oh My!
Going Public
Christmas in July
Luck Be A Lady Tonight
I Left My Heart In Oklahoma
As Luck Would Have It
Shock & Awe
Blame It On Britney
The Unending Journey
Makin’ Copies
Bullets and Bracelets… and Lube
To Tell The Truth…
Stars Aren’t Blind
The Dark Knight
Come As You Are
A Date?
A Happy Ending
Better Than Nothing
A Man With A Slow Hand
Taking The Long Way
Everybody Knows
Wake Me Up, Before Ya Go-Go
Definition
The Best
The Upper Hand
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
2000-Date
Dick The Halls
The Queer Dear
A Night At The Museum
A Conversation
I’m Just A Girl Who Can’t Say No
Change The Way You Feel
Kissing A Fool
Leo The Lamb
The Elephant In The Room
Zuckerman’s Famous Pig
A Birthday Surprise
The Sleepover-er
SP Phone Home
Out of the Frying Pan and into the Closet
What If…
Just Beat It
Intimate Portrait
Intimate Portrait (Part Deux)
Intimate Portrait (Part Trois)
State of Mind
The Age of Disbelief
A Man For All Seasons
Summer Lovin’
A-Men
The Urge
Gettin’ It Done
Here You Cum Again
Eye Of The Beholder
The Present
A Minute’s Pause
Brotherly Love
Ladies Who Lunch
Here Cums The Rain Again
Dinner For Two
Blow by Blow
Commando
Cum As You Are?
Aftershock!
Caught in the Act
The Great Compromise
The Tipping Point
Cross Country
In Stereo
Get Smart
Blind Faith
The Dirty Mexican