PataPORN With Chinpoko

Oooh! We had a good week of porn here at QueerClick. Did you catch the highlights? No? Well you’re lucky you have me around. This week we got some pocket pool action, some seriously deep-dicking, and some mammoth manhood big enough to rival Shark Week. That’s right. But enough talk! It’s time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!

Sean Cody: Kurt and Jess
RATING: CUMWORTHY! – FIVE OUT OF FIVE
Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re not missing anything over at Sean Cody—you so are. This last week, the big-dicked Jess gave an awesome fucking to Abercrombie bottom Kurt. It was so good that I’m still drooling cum over it.
They start by doing shirtless pushups and before long they’re kissing. Kurt’s not wearing underwear and he quickly strips and jerks Jess’ big dick to a speedy erection. Kurt has no choice but to suck the huge thing best he can.
What follows is a great sideways fuck with lots of kissing. Kurt’s a literal pillow biter and when he moans, you can see every inch of why. Jess really plunges and churns his large cock inside Kurt’s ass and Kurt’s pained expressions only made me shoot even harder—PATA, PATA, PATA!!
As momma used to say, “It’s not any fun unless someone gets hurt.”
They fuck 3 different ways and when they cum, Jess licks up Kurt’s load and kisses him so he can taste. Fuck! Somebody give this boy a porn award already!
YES: Huge stoner boy dick, muscular bottom Kurt, lots of kissing and nipple worship, chemistry a-go-go.
NO: Sean, retire that fugly beige carpeting. Your performers deserve better.

Bang Bang Boys: Julio
RATING: AROUSED – THREE OUT OF FIVE
28-year-old Julio works as a Go-Go boy in Brazil. QCE has him playing some pocket pool with one helluva uncut stick. Plus, he has pecs and abs for days and a humpy little butt just begging for love. Wouldn’t mind rubbing my balls against his cue and then knocking my shot into his back pocket, if you know what I mean.
And if the first photo set of him blowing a load on a pool table isn’t enough, check him showering and in a jockstrap poolside. Muscles plus tattooed sleeves plus amazing ass and uncut dick equal animal lust. Very hot!
SI!: Why yes, I will gladly fuck you on a pool table.
NO: Why no, I prefer your hard and cum-splattered first photo set to your half-erect second photo set.

Dirty Tony: Christopher and Seth
RATING: AROUSED – THREE OUT OF FIVE
After handsome nerd Chris talks a little bit about bisexuality and the gay porn industry, he and Seth awkwardly discuss big dicks. Apparently, Chris has a 9.5 inch dildo that’s as big as him just so he knows what it’s like to fuck himself. But enough chatter… ONTO THE SEX!
I ain’t gonna lie, I’m a fan of Seth Lyons. For one, his dick is huge. For two, he’s chiseled and furry. For three, he deep-throats right off the bat. A big-dicked oral otter bottom? Yes, ma’am! Before long, Lyons starts kissing Chris’ “100% Grade A White Boy” tattoo (imagine that thing at age 70) and begins deep-throating his beautiful slightly curved meat.
Chris is fuckin’ hot—a scruffy beard, chest hair, muscles, ink. Oh, and he tongue-tickles Seth’s pink spot before fingering it deep and milking his cock from behind. But once the sex starts, the camerawork fails to capture the hottest angles and the scene goes a bit limp. Sexy Seth isn’t hard and they lack chemistry—even the sweaty round 2 kissing can’t bring it back.
Too bad, I wanted to cum hard with these two.
OH YES: Sexy men, body hair-n-bush, slow-mo cumshot captures every thrusting spurt.
OH NO: Very little chemistry. And Seth unattractively drools out all the cum at the end. Why, Seth? WHY??!!


FREAK OF THE WEEK
I know you probably thought I would choose Adam Lambert for this week’s Freak, but alas someone else beat him out for worst hair. Bel Ami’s Sebastian Zaho rocks out with his fauxhawk out like it’s 1991!
I get that Eastern Europe is twenty years behind the rest of the world in terms of pop-culture and fashion—and that alone makes his hair forgivable—but what about that cowskin-covered couch? Not even God forgives that.

CHINPOKO’S QUICK CUMSHOTS
I know it’s Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. But it seemed like Dark Week here at QC. Check out this sweet collection of sexual chocolates that will melt in your mouth (and in your ass):
Maskurbate: Adam – The mysterious masked man has two defining features: a beautiful bod chiseled from ebony and a huuuuuge cock.
Man Avenue: Joey Shadow – After you see this hung, slender stud jerk his long delicious meat, you’ll love Joey beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Bentley Race: Mikey Rey – Oh Mikey’s front is nice. But his back? Get your hands and mouths ready gentleman—dessert is served!
TimTales: Troy Fucks Kriss – You thought Tim’s dick was big? Get a load of this fuckstud, if your asses can handle it (and I don’t think they can, actually).
Thug Boy: Brent – Ugh. The “thug boy” thing is so played out, but that wouldn’t stop me from blasting his boyish black face with huge spurts of pearly white cum. From Japan with love! PATA, PATA!
I told you we had a great week, didn’t I? And from the look of it, next week is only going to get even hotter. Summer never ends here at QC. So go bust a sweat (and a nut) by getting out there and getting turned on!