QC FYI: Will You Still Be A Sexual Superhero At 60? Maybe…

Hey young dudes, guess what? As you get older it will take longer for you to get aroused, longer for you to cum, you’ll cum less and also have a 70% chance of going impotent—but that’s not all! Your prostate may enlarge making it difficult to piss on your loved one and your penis will change from its young virile appearance to something resembling an albino garden shrew.
According to male physicians, men who get fatter as they age instead of staying sexy end up with dicks that look smaller because their cocks end up hidden behind all the flab. You can prevent it by staying slender. But no matter how chunky you get, as you reach your 60s or 70s your penis will likely shrink about half an inch and your balls will shrink by a centimeter because of crappy blood flow.
Lastly, penile scar tissue may cause your wiener to curve unnaturally (a condition known as Peyronie’s disease which can require surgery). But there is an upside to all this depressing news:

Experts say these changes need not ruin your erotic life. One recent study involving 2,213 men in Olmstead County, Minn., showed significant declines in erectile function, libido, and ejaculatory function—but only moderate decreases in sexual satisfaction. “Older men may be less likely to perceive these declines as a problem and be dissatisfied,” concluded the study’s authors.

As Goldstein puts it, “The most important ingredient for a satisfying sex life is the ability to satisfy your partner, and that doesn’t require peak sexual performance or a big penis. As long as a man’s partner enjoys sexual intercourse, he feels like a god.”

That’s great! So put away the gun, unfasten your diaper and grab the Viagra! Just remember to slip on a condom before your all night orgy at the Golden Oaks rec room.
PS. Is it a problem that we totally want to fuck the old guy in the first pic? No? Oh goody!